Have you ever stopped and noticed the types of questions you ask? Should we increase sales or decreasing expenses to turn this company around?? Did they lose the game because of poor coaching or their main player was injured? Should I exercise more or eat less to lose weight?

One thing these types of questions have in common is that they create an either/or way of thinking. In other words, they create a prioritization in our brains that makes it easier to take action or understand a situation. There are very few things in life that are black and white or either/or.   Most responses to these types of questions require both/and thinking. 

To lose weight we need to both exercise more and eat less which seems more difficult to tackle. Both/and ways of thinking require us to shut down the easier "one" way mentality and look at a bigger picture.

So, how might I learn to think more in terms of both/and? Great question for this week's newsletter!

Great reading and learning!

Diane

P.S. Welcome to my newest readers from Agropur and the West Central Wisconsin SHRM group. 

                                                                   "It is never too late to give up your prejudices"   
                                                                               

                                                                                                              Henry David Thoreau

A few years ago, I had the joy of participating in Naadam, a Mongolian festival honoring the arrival of mare's milk in the countryside. As part of this celebration, I watched horse races, Mongolian wrestling and tasted delicious Mongolian food. The next day, after all of the activities had ended, I was in a reflective mood and asked my Mongolian friends which part of the festivities they preferred the most. After a long, awkward pause they looked at me as if I was alien and said they enjoyed it all.

What I realized in this moment was my need to prioritize experiences into good versus bad. My Mongolian friends saw the whole experience and were unwilling to tear it apart or rank order their preferences.

A few years earlier than this Mongolian experience, I was able to hear Marcus Buckingham speak at a conference on the differences between his homeland, England, and the United States. He said in the US we like to measure and keep score of everything. He used the example of comparing sports. In the US we know the height, weight, field goal percentage and shoe size (okay, maybe not the shoe size) of every NBA basketball player. We report these statistics regularly in the newspaper, on television or in social media after each game. In England, at the end of a soccer game they will praise the leading scorer as having a jolly good game.

So what drives our need in this country to rank order, prioritize and keep so many statistics? I am not saying this is a bad way of thinking rather there is another way to think that may provide better answers and solutions to our questions. Rankings allow us to choose the best schools, businesses and doctors to work with so it keeps us from making unsafe decisions. But when does this way of thinking get in our way?  Here are a few sample questions:

• Is it better to be interested or interesting in a conversation? Both. We need to listen and participate in order to have a great conversation.

• Do we need math, reading and writing or the arts in schools today? Both. We need math and reading and writing and arts.

• Will you eat less or work out more to lose weight? Both. We need to exercise and eat less.

So, how do we build our both/and thinking muscles?

• When you find yourself saying or thinking either/or put your hands up in the air signifying a touchdown and say to yourself both/and (this action provides a mental marker in your brain to pause and remember both/and).

• When you hear someone propose an either/or question in a meeting, respond with the likelihood of a both/and being a better choice.

• Ask a trusted friend to alert you when you ask the either/or types of questions until you are better able to self-monitor.

Question for You:

Do you find yourself wanting to find the "one" correct answer to most dilemmas in life? Do you frequently ponder these situations from an either/or perspective?

Action for You:

Find the validity in multiple solutions to your problems. Listen to numerous ideas on how to change or fix something and realize the truth in each idea. Get comfortable saying both/and when looking for the root cause of problems, and most importantly, the solution in fixing those problems.

           "Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in."   

                                                           Isaac Asimov