"Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?"
- Steven Wright
Joyce has an important meeting to lead tomorrow. She has an idea that may take the company in a new direction and she needs feedback on her idea from her knowledgeable teammates. She waits patiently for everyone to arrive and then dives into a PowerPoint presentation that logically lays out her idea in a step-by-step format. At the end of her presentation she asks for questions, insights and, critiques and the room falls silent. This has happened to Joyce in previous meetings she leads and it frustrates her to see such talented thinkers remain quiet. The meeting ends with Mary continuing to talk, answer her own questions and critique her own work without any new suggestions from the team.
What is going on here? Well, it could be several things. First, Joyce has a tendency to dominate meetings. She believes leadership is about "taking control" of meetings and offering a lecture style format. She believes her style is participative because she asks questions throughout the meeting.
The first thing Joyce must learn to do is offer her opinions last....after everyone else has had a chance to speak. Another technique she should embrace would be using ice-breakers to start her meetings. Now you may be thinking that Joyce knows these participants in her meeting. She doesn't need to break the ice with them. Getting to know new people is just one reason to use ice breakers. Here are four other reasons:
- Break the tension of speaking in a meeting by relaxing the group
- Connect quickly with each other through a common question or activity
- Create humor
- Discover new talents or skills of team members
Let me offer five of my favorite ice breakers to get you started:
- Relate the ice breaker question to the topic of the meeting. In Joyce's example above. Go around the room and ask each person if they were to start a business today, what would that business be? The leader needs to make certain they go last. Go around the room versus jumping from one person to another so everyone participates.
- Set the tone for laughter. One of my favorite ways to create laughter is to ask for two truths and a lie. Each person must list two truths about themselves and one lie. The team must guess the lie.
- Uncover passions and strengths of teammates. Have each person interview the person next to them and ask them what is their most significant accomplishment that is not family or work related in the last two years? The reason you have a partner interview on this one is because the partner will uncover and share more than if each person is relating their own accomplishments. Most people don't like to brag about themselves.
- Tie the question into the time of year, i.e., best Christmas gift during the holidays or their family's tradition for curing a cold during the winter season. Or, their favorite vacation during the summer months.
- Read a passage from a relevant book or quote and get reactions. In the example above, Joyce could read a quote or passage from a book about change or starting over in life to set the stage for her presentation.
There are many resources available online and through bookstores that offer ideas for questions or activities to break the ice. Here are a few that I use:
If....(Questions for the Game of Life) by Evelyn McFarlane & James Saywell
Chat Pack: Fun Questions to Spark Conversations by Questmarc Publishing. 156 cards that get people talking.
ThinkerToys : A handbook of Creative Thinking Techniques by Michael Michalko.
Google the words "ice breaker" in any web browser and receive hundreds of suggestions.
Question for You:
Are you the type of leader that likes to get right to the task at hand? Do you find participation in your meetings low or nonexistent? Are your meetings stiff and formal? Do you want to create a more relaxed and fun atmosphere that encourages participants to speak up?
Action for You:
Try any of my ice breakers listed above or use any of the resources I list above. They do not have to take a long time....I often allow no more than 10-15 minutes for an ice breaker. Keep your ice breaker in proportion to your meeting length. For one hour meetings, no more than a 10 minute ice breaker. Two, three or four hour meetings can have a twenty to thirty minute ice breaker. My advice is to just try them for a while. If you are not seeing any of the benefits listed above, simply stop using them.
