In the 1980's the parenting theory of the decade was to build your child's self-esteem. If your child had a strong sense of self-esteem, they would find more success in life.   So, as parents, we poured on the praise. We were so good at making our children feel great just for being on this earth. Here are a few examples:

• "Baby on Board" signs
• Safety restraints-child care seats
• Slots on crib less than 16 inches
• Rating their movies and music
• Program D.A.R.E.- Just say "no"
• Internet filters
• Grade inflation at school
• Ribbons for just showing up at events

The logic went like this.....If we protected our children and made them the center of our universe, then they would know how special and important they really are and we are going to verbally remind them so their self-esteem would rise. What is wrong with this strategy we ask today? Psychologists make the point that we need to let our children experience the self-esteem that comes from hard work and accomplishment...not just idle praise. If a child painted a good picture, as parents we would tell them they could be a great artist someday instead of just letting them know they painted a good picture.

Another interesting side note to this need for constant positive praise by Gen Y is the term "runaway inflation of speech", coined by psychologist Dr. Linda Sapadin. Dr. Sapadin claims that praising someone for a nice picture is actually a slight put down with today's generation. Many in Generation Y need to hear they are "drop dead gorgeous" versus "pretty" or a "genius" versus "bright". Complimenting someone for a "nice" drawing is not enough praise.

Fast forward to the workplace in the year 2013.   Many Generation Y employees are wanting immediate praise for work they do that may only be on par with other workers.   According to the Wall Street Journal, Lands' End and Bank of America have hired "praise" teams to keep up with the need for consistent praise with this young generation. The gap becomes apparent when we remember that most Baby Boomers and Traditionalists believed the phrase "no news is good news"! We believed that If we did not hear from our boss, we must be doing well.

So, how do we close the gap of "praise" expectations between the generations?

As a manager:

• Set the stage. Let all employees know that you appreciate their efforts through emails, verbal congrats, awards, etc. The Gallup Poll suggests recognition and praise from a manager once every seven days if you want to increase an employee's productivity. This is where you set the bar for Gen Y as a manger. Make certain the behavior you choose to praise once every seven days is significant and not just showing up for work on time. Allow them to build "real" self-esteem from their accomplishments of projects or overcoming obstacles and not superficial praise.
• Lose the gruffness. This generation wants the warmth they received from their parents. Mothers and daughters were particularly close at home so the firm, gruff style of leadership will not improve morale with this generation.
• Coach them on how they can gain credibility with you and your organization. What level of work are you expecting? What is minimum, expected and desired work?

As a Gen Y employee:

• Do not be disappointed if you do not hear from your boss, but periodically.
• Take ownership of your own self-esteem development. Take courses and listen to audio on improving your self-talk and taking ownership of how you feel about yourself. When the praise comes from your boss, it will be icing on the cake.
• Ask your boss for an example of exceptional work. Know that you may not always have the time to perform exceptional work but you will have a realistic target to hit and may even receive verbal praise for a job "well done."

Question for You:

Do you have Gen Y employees working for you and needing more attention than you are used to giving as a boss? Are you wondering how to give them meaningful praise to retain this talented generation but also get you work done? As an employee are you hurt by the lack of attention you are receiving from your boss? Do you wonder if others will ever notice your hard work?

Action for You:

As a manager, realize the special needs of this unique generation brought up to feel exceptionally special by their parents and teachers. Praise them on actual accomplishments once every seven days, lose the gruffness and coach them on how to gain credibility with you and the organization. As an employee, take responsibility for your own self-esteem by expecting less praise (you will be more impressed when you actually receive it), ask for examples of "praise-worthy" work and spend time on developing your own self-esteem through books, audio casts and workshops.