Do you currently have a mentor in your work life? Someone who has helped you understand the rules, often hidden, of how to get ahead in your career? All of us need someone to help us advance or get "unstuck" in our careers. Even CEO's and entrepreneurs need help from someone that has walked in their shoes. If you are in need of a mentor, but don't know how to find one, today's newsletter will inspire you to reach out and start the process by learning what to do and what not do in the search for one.

Great connecting,

• Do NOT directly ask for someone to mentor you. I know this seems counterintuitive since often the best approach when asking for help is to come right out and ask for it. The reason this may be ineffective is that it puts the potential mentor on the spot. To a mentor, time is precious and they do not know how long they would be committing to a mentoring relationship so they hesitate to commit. Also, they may not know or like the person who is asking to be mentored.

• Ask a person whom you respect for a short amount of time to gain insights on how to solve a specific problem. Instead of saying, "Will you mentor me?" Ask them, "Would you have 30 minutes to help me see what skills I may need to develop to reach my next career goal?" Or better yet, offer to buy them lunch so you can brainstorm solutions to a specific problem you are having. If the mentor likes you and wants to continue helping you, they will reach out to you to see how you are doing with the problem you worked on together. You may even reach out again to the mentor with another specific problem you are having if your first experience was successful. Let the mentor decide if they want a long term relationship with you. You will know how they feel about you by the way they follow- up and continue to ask how you are doing. 

• Thank them. Reach out to them via email, phone or the old fashioned thank you note to let them know how much their time and insights helped you. This will definitely increase the odds that they give up their time to help you with future problems.

Question for You:

Are you looking for someone to help you advance in your career or resolve a tough problem? Have you sought out others in the past with limited success?

Answer for You:

The indirect approach is best when asking others to give precious time to help you advance in your career. Start by asking for small amounts of time to solve specific problems. Let the relationship evolve into something deeper if the mentor feels they are providing help and feels a connection with you.

"There is a wonderful way to cut twenty years off the learning curve in your career. It is to hang out with people who are where you want to be, or people who have done what you want to do. The key is to create a win-win relationship. A mentor is one of many ways to accomplish this objective."

Tim Conner