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How To React When Someone Needs to Vent
"It's not so much the journey that's important; as is the way that we treat those we encounter and those around us, along the way"
A lot can happen in an average work day. From situations with customers and co-workers, to technical aspects of your work, sometimes you need to seek a sounding board or someone that can offer perspective on how you handled a situation. The most logical person to seek out for feedback is your boss.
I have met a lot of managers who do not like the role of listening to employees vent or being a sounding board. They feel this is time spent poorly both for themselves and the employee. While I agree, this can be a time drain; I firmly believe you need to offer your time and attention to help employees walk through scenarios to build their confidence. As their boss, you are often privy to information that helps set them on a different course of thinking.
So, how do you listen and respond to someone that needs to vent?
- Be aware of your own time. As a boss, you have many important deadlines to meet, so if an employee approaches you to vent or ask for your insights and you have a critical deadline to meet, ask for the urgency in the discussion, and if it can wait, make certain you let your employee know when you have time to talk with them. In other words, give them a time and day they can have your full attention. The sooner the better....ideally the same day as you were approached.
- Ask them if they are seeking a solution or if they just need an empathic ear. This can make all the difference in the world as most employees already know how to resolve an issue; they just want reassurance that they handled it correctly. By the way this works great at home with your spouse and children.
- If the situation involves complaining about a co-worker, I recommend listening to the issue once but then suggesting that the person venting confront the co-worker who is the problem. You may need to offer to facilitate the discussion for both parties if the problem continues.
What if you are the one needing insight? How do you best approach your boss to vent?
- Be clear on what you want. Try to condense the issue you face so as to better explain its urgency. Are you looking for reassurance or a solution? If possible, make it clear to your boss when you ask for their time.
Try this approach, "I need to debrief something with you.... do you have time right now? When might be a better time? I really need for you to listen to the way I handled something. Or, I am having problems with a co-worker and I want to see if I am off-base.
- Timing is everything. If your boss looks overwhelmed, save your request for the next day or two, if it can wait.
- Be selective in which issues go before your boss. To show respect for your boss's time, choose those issues that have the greatest impact on your performance. However, if you are new to a task or position, this is the time to ask. Do not wait until it is too late and the consequences of a poor decision are devastating.
- Keep it short. By gathering your thoughts ahead of the meeting and getting clarity on the issue, your conversation will not wander and waste both of your time.
Question for You:
Do you often dread the knock on your door when an employee needs to vent? Do you tense up at the thought of lost time? Are you an employee that likes to vent or is afraid to ask your boss for their time as a sounding board?
Action for You:
By following the steps listed above you will protect your valuable time as a boss while having the opportunity to listen to your most valuable assets...your employees. If you are needing to vent, be conscious of your boss's time but also know that you deserve to get answers to your questions or at least an empathic ear.
"I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself become the wounded person."
Walt Whitman, Song of Myself |
