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GuardYourEyes Chizuk E-Mail (No. 1232)  

Getting stronger every day!
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In Today's Issue  

  • 12-Step Recovery: Step 4 (p. 5)
     
  • Torah Attitude: GYE Principle 13
     
  • Member Chizuk: Answer to a Higher Authority

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One-liner

  

 A journey of 1,000 miles begins with the first step. 

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Category: 12-Step Recovery

  

Step Four

Part 5

 

By Rabbi Yisrael Pinson

 

Rabbi Yisrael Pinson is the Director of the Daniel B. Sobel Friendship House in West Bloomfield, MI. Since joining the Friendship House he has helped create a local Jewish Recovery Community where recovering addicts are helped through support, guidance, friendship and community.  

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Category: Shiur Announcement

 

Rabbi Feuerman's, LCSW-R, Friday Phone Conference

Friday 8:30 AM NY Time - 3:30 PM Israel Time
 

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The Nesivos Shalom Conference Call

 

SUNDAY Mornings from 9AM to 9:30AM EST 

 

Reb Noach Schwartz, LCSW will give a shiur in Nesivos Shalom specially geared to GYE members, followed by insights, sharing and Q&A.

*Kindly call in for an enjoyable, educational, and chasidishe schmooze!* 

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Category: Torah Attitude

 

GYE Principle 13: 

Every Little Bit Counts

 

(Click here for the previous principles)

 

We must believe that coin after coin are added to our "spiritual bank" every time we say "no" to the Yetzer Hara, no matter how insignificant it may seem to us at the time. Even if someone is sure that they'll fall in the very near future, they should know that for every second they hold back, they are earning reward that no person or malach can fathom! And when a person has enough "coins" in their "spiritual account", they will succeed beyond their wildest dreams!

 

The Gemara says: "Habah letaher misaayen lo - He who comes to be purified, they help him," and Chazal also say: "Biderech she'adom rotzeh leilech molichin osoh - in the way a person wants to go, they lead him." Why does the Gemara speak always in plural form: "they help him," and "they lead him"? The Maharsha explains that every resolution and every effort that a person makes creates an angel. And when the army of angels gets large enough, it has the power to help one overcome all the obstacles and lead him to where he wants to go!

 

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Discuss these ideas with your friends on the forum. See this and other articles on your Personal Homepage (log-in required).

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Category: Member Chizuk

 

 Answer to a Higher Authority 

 
By Jack
 
Sholom to all my brothers-in-arms!
 
I would like to share some stuff: you know, it helps just to know people in the same boat as me read my stuff. So thank you ahead of time - this camaraderie helps us grow. It helped me 6 years ago and it helps me now.

We have to have patience with the process. If posting helps, then post. If meetings help, then attend meetings. If writing on the wall with a crayon helps, well, you know what I mean. But, as long as we're doing things, whether it be reading books, attending meetings, meditating - whatever - but we're still falling and failing, we should not give up! It's a process, and it takes time - depending on the severity and the length of time that we are suffering from the addiction.

It's painful. I know someone who quit smoking after 40 years of smoking, and it took him 6 months - pretty fast, if you ask me. So people who are struggling and failing - and expressing frustration with themselves - of course, we are frustrated that we seem to be powerless over this. I think not to be frustrated shows lack of concern. On the other hand, it also pulls us in further. At least, this is what happens to ME. So the answer is to have the RIGHT amount of frustration - the middle road. Enough to let us know that our addiction is really harmful to us, but not too much to drag us down into depression. Be patient with the process, but keep working. And be patient with ourselves. Breathe and slow down, the addiction wants us to be absorbed into ourselves. I am working on this very thing now. It's not easy. But with guys like you listening to me, I have more of a chance of succeeding than if I weren't here.

The 90 days is a good start - it teaches us lessons that we'll need. But it's only a start.

Another thing I've noticed in my 6 or so years around GYE (my first clean day in 38 years was Sept 3 2008) is that, for me, no reason is enough to stay clean - let me explain. The following 'reasons' to stay clean don't work for me:

1 - I have a wife

2 - I just learned all night on Shvuos

3 - G-d is watching me

4 - The Torah says not to do it

5 - I just read krias shma that says 'lo sosuru'

6 - I'm about to daven shachris

etc.

If any of these reasons were enough, there would be no need for this site. Everyone on here is a talmid chacham. But we addicts have a very strong magnet that is pulling us toward shmutz that other people don't experience. We're not bad (from the handbook), and we're not purposeful hypocrites. Nor are we purposeful liars. And we're not going against the Torah, chas v'shalom, on purpose. Everyone here feels bad that they are caught in this addiction. I believe that Hashem sees that and knows that. So, if no reason works, how can we stay clean? 

Answer - for no reason. Just because we're submitting ourselves to something higher than ourselves that we believe in. We trust that He is not out for Himself but is out for our own good - even though we don't know why, we're listening. Hopefully one day we'll be able to see and understand the reason. But for now, we just have to submit ourselves to this Higher Will and not give reasons. Let the other people - those people who do not suffer from this - let them give themselves reasons for staying clean. I don't have an addiction to drugs - so I give myself a reason not to start - it's bad. But someone who IS addicted to drugs - no reason is going to help. They have to surrender, admit defeat, and submit themselves to a Higher ideal.

In my opinion, of course.

I wish everyone here hatzlacha from the bottom of my heart, and yasher koach to all of you for coming to this forum. You are true warriors.

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Hard Copy of the GYE Handbook

 
If you find it hard to read the
and you feel you would have a lot to benefit from a hard copy,
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Quick Links 

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Our Websites 

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Guardyoureyes.com - Helping thousands break free

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Important Links

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The GuardYourEyes Handbook - Breaking Free of Lust Addiction, Step by Step.

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