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GuardYourEyes Chizuk E-Mail (No. 1227)  

Getting stronger every day!
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In Today's Issue  

  • 12-Step Tips: Meeting Etiquette  
     
  • Attitude: 7 Thoughts to Chew On 
     
  • Torah Thought: From Barley to Wheat 

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One-liner

  

 Addiction: I want what I want when I want it. 

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Category: 12-Step Tips

  

Meeting Etiquette

 

From sobernation.com

 

Early sobriety is an uncomfortable time and stepping into the rooms without knowing any of the rules or conventions only adds to this discomfort.  The last thing a newcomer needs is to be confronted about an unwritten rule with which he is not familiar.
 

First and foremost it is a sign of humility for the newcomer to prioritize listening over sharing.  New members generally know very little about living a healthy, sober life and the only way to learn from the experience of others is to listen to them.

 

It is not appropriate to share about problems that do not relate to alcohol in AA (or sex addiction in SA). A common faux pas committed by newcomers is to share whatever is going on in their lives instead of speaking on topic. Also, the experience of newcomers generally consists of drug/porn use and not with sobriety. As a result, their shares are often "war stories", or nostalgic recollections of past use. 

 

No matter what your addiction is, it is considered a sign of respect to introduce yourself as an addict to the substance that the meeting addresses.  For example, even if your drug of choice is pornography, you should introduce yourself as an alcoholic at an AA meeting.

 

Cell phones should be silenced or turned off at the beginning of the meeting.  If you receive an important phone call you should take it outside, but this should be avoided if possible.

 

It is also considered rude to get up once the meeting begins.  If you need to get coffee, go to the bathroom, or smoke, do it before the meeting begins.  People moving around can be very distracting to those who are sharing. 

 

Most meetings do not permit crosstalk, or directly addressing the comments of others.  Instead, shares should be confined to the topic at hand and how it relates to your own experience.  If crosstalk is permitted the chairperson will say so at the beginning of the meeting.

 

Talking to neighbors during the meeting is disrespectful to whomever is sharing.  Public speaking can provoke a lot of anxiety in some people.  Not only are side conversations distracting, but they convey the message that attendees are not listening to what the speaker has to say. If you have to leave the meeting early or get up for some other reason, wait until the speaker finishes to do so.

 

Beginner's meetings are a more welcoming environment for newcomers than conventional meetings.  Attendees are more forgiving of mistakes, so these meetings are a good place to learn the fundamentals of AA without feeling judged or ostracized.  These meetings also encourage newcomers to share, which can help alleviate any anxiety they might have with it.

 

Bottom line: At AA and SA meetings it is important to have respect for those with more experience in sobriety.  Introduce yourself as an addict to the substance that the meeting addresses, do not specifically comment on the shares of others unless the meeting permits it, do not act in ways that may distract whoever is speaking, and make an effort to learn as much from each meeting you attend.

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Category: Attitude

  

7 Thoughts to Chew On

 

 1. A lot of good luck is undeserved;  so is a lot of bad luck. 

2. Life is what happens while you are planning your future. 

3. Failure is an opportunity to make another, more intelligent, beginning. 

4. If you don't learn from your mistakes, making them makes no sense.

5. The smallest good deed is better than the grandest good intention. 
 6
. Blessed is he who expects nothing.  He will not be disappointed. 

7. You don't have to fall into a well to know how deep it is.  

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Category: Torah Thought

 

From Barley to Wheat

 

By Goldy

 

With the counting of sefiras haomer, we are celebrating the switch from harvesting barley to harvesting wheat.

 

Barley is coarse animal food. It represents animalistic traits. Everyone can be an animal with no effort. Eating, lusting, sleeping, etc. are all animalistic traits.

 

Wheat produces bread, which is food for humans. This represents the traits of a mentch: pushing aside our animalistic desires, and replacing them with seichel and proper middos.

 

Sefirah is a time where we evolve from our selfish, animalistic selves, into proper, well mannered, functioning, G-d fearing human beings.

 

Let's use this auspicious time to grow and evolve into who we really are.

 

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Discuss these ideas with your friends on the forum. See this and other articles on your Personal Homepage (log-in required).

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