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GuardYourEyes Chizuk E-Mail (No. 1224)  

Getting stronger every day!
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In Today's Issue  

  • Torah Thought: We Can Say 'No'
     
  • Attitude: Improving Your Relationship

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One-liner

  

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
 

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Category: Torah Thought

  

We Can Say 'No'

 

By Guard

 

We say every day in the morning  'ומותר האדם מן הבהמה - אין'
- "the addition the man has over the animal is - 'HE CAN SAY NO'", he has the ability to resist the temptations.

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Dov's 12-Step Workshop Recordings Available

A big thank you and congratulations to Dov on the completion his 3 week, 12 part workshop on the 12-Step program for GYE members.
  
Recordings of this wonderful workshop series can be accessed now on the GYE site in 3 places:
To listen to these talks by phone: 
Dial 209-255-1099
PIN: 637207#
Reference Numbers: 98-101,103-106,108-111
 
Click here to download a Zip of all 12 Talks.
 
Please note, that Dov welcomes your feedback, and you can email him at  [email protected] to ask for clarifications, disagreements, or just to talk.

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Category: Attitude

 

Improving Your Relationship
 
  
By Dr. Scott Stanley 

 

Most addicts suffer from deteriorated relationship with their spouse. We bring you an article on improving the relationship by Dr. Scott Stanley, a research professor who conducts studies on marriage and romantic relationships. Along with his colleagues, he also develops materials to help people in their relationships based on the best social science possible.

 

Here's a very simple idea for strengthening your relationship. It comes from many things I have written over the years about healthy sacrifices in relationships and marriage.

I think we all know of little things we could do that are good for our relationships that we are not likely to do on any given day. My emphasis on "little things" is very important. On most days, there are too many obstacles in the way of doing big things. Of course, big things are great to do from time to time, but big sacrifices require big opportunities that are rare. Small sacrifices do not require big opportunities. They are thoroughly and routinely doable.

If you want to apply this idea to your own relationship this week, here's a little exercise for you. Take a few minutes of quiet time and think about some of the things you have done in the past that fit these characteristics.

1.  It is something under your control.

2.  It is something small that you can decide to do just about any day or week you want.

3.  It is something that you know is good for your relationship and that your partner tends to like.

4.  It is something you are NOT all that likely to do today or this week, even though you very well could.

Go ahead and write a few ideas down.

Challenge time. Commit to yourself to do one or two of the things you wrote down in the coming week.  Not 10. One or two. Develop some way to remind yourself and get after it.  Don't tell your partner what you are doing, just do it. Your partner may or may not notice everything but he or she will probably notice some of these things. But that's not the point, really. The point is doing a few small things that are good for your relationship. Your relationship will be stronger for it.

If that works for you, try this idea out for a number of weeks (there's not really any great reason to stop).

It's point number 4 that really puts this idea into the realm of small but meaningful sacrifice. That's because you are recognizing in yourself that you are not likely to do this very simple thing that you know your partner appreciates. You have to decide to go out of your way, a tiny bit, to follow through.

It's not the thought that counts. Ideas that are never put into action may be thoughtful but they are not effective. Your mission is to do something.

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(Redux-Edited from version first posted on 4-27-2009. We now include this idea in many of our books and relationship education materials because we believe it's simple and effective.)

 

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Discuss these ideas with your friends on the forum. See this and other articles on your Personal Homepage (log-in required).

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Category: Announcement

 

Good news for the women of GYE!
 

The Women's Big-Book Study Group is restarting!
Until Pesach it will be sharing/chizuk and selected readings from the big book. After Pesach it will be big book study/working the steps.
Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays: 12:30-1:00 EST
Wednesdays and Thursdays: 11:45-12:15 EST
  
See here for more info on the call.
Write to: [email protected] for call-in number and info. 
To see the GYE call-times (in your time-zone), see this page.

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 Limited Time Offer is Back - but it may take a bit of time to fulfill!


 
For those who find it hard to read the
and they feel they would have a lot to benefit from a hard copy, please contact 

 
with your snail-mail address and it will be mailed to you bl"n.
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Quick Links 

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Our Websites 

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Important Links

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