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GuardYourEyes Chizuk E-Mail (No. 1219)  

Getting stronger every day!
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In Today's Issue 

  • Announcement: The Third Annual GYE Convention in Israel 
     
  • 12-Step Disovery: What to Expect At a First 12-Step Meeting 
     
  • GYE Principle #8: "With cunning make your battle" (Mishlei)

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Category: Announcement

 

 The Third Annual GYE Convention in Israel
"From Slavery to Recovery"
with keynote speaker, Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski

We're happy to announce the third annual GYE convention in Israel, which will take place be"h on Sunday, 2nd of Nissan, March 22 in Jerusalem between 18:00-22:15 (for anonymity purposes, the precise location will be given to registrants only).

Also intended for the wives of GYE members.

 

There will be talks by recovering members, various 12-steps workshops on recovery, and panels with Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski and Rabbi Yehoshua Shappira. 

Rabbi Twerski is the most renowned expert on addiction in the Jewish world today. He has written more than 80 books on Judaism and psychology, many of them on the 12-steps and Judaism. Rabbi Yehoshua Shapira is the Rosh Yeshiva of the Ramat-Gan Hesder Yeshiva. He's established many 12 steps groups across the country and trains educators and therapists on the 12 steps program.

Price: 60 NIS
The discounted price for couples is 95 NIS. 

The convention will be in both Hebrew and English. Simultaneous translations will be available for most parts. To hear the translation, please bring an FM receiver (most cellphones have radios, but they only work with earphones).

This year's event is open for men and spouses only. We hope to have a women's event in the future.

For registration, contact 

[email protected]
(Please indicate whether you've already been to a live 12-step meeting in the past or if this is your first time attending a live event).

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One-liner

  

Remember that addiction is incurable, progressive, and fatal.
 

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Category: 12-Step Discovery

 

What to Expect During Your First 12-Step Meeting

 From recovery.org

 

Thanks to Hollywood, when you think of Alcoholic Anonymous (AA), Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) or any other type of 12-Step meeting, you may imagine sipping cheap coffee in a dank, smoke-filled basement while listening to harrowing tales of woe and loss. In truth, however, this dramatization is wildly inaccurate.

 

If you're attending your first 12-Step meeting, it's important to understand that nothing is expected of you. And to be honest, the coffee is usually pretty good.
 

Breaking the 12-Step Ice

 

Many first-timers are amazed by the cordial, relaxed atmosphere of 12-step meetings and the eclectic mix of people in attendance.

Firstly, you should know that are two types of "traditional" 12-Step support group meetings: open and closed. Open meetings are for anyone who would like to observe, while closed meetings are solely for individuals suffering from addiction who wish to recover.

 

Open or closed meetings may have:

  • A speaker who shares his/her specific story
  • A general discussion meeting
  • A study meeting where sections of the Big Book are reviewed
  • Beginner meetings are also held, typically involving an introductory Q&A format 

Opening Up to the Group

 

Although the notion of "sharing" your personal story during a meeting is often depicted as the "basic function" of a 12-Step meeting, sharing your thoughts is only one aspect, and newcomers are not, by any means, required to speak - at all.

You are more than welcome to share, but 12-Step meetings are informal. They are not a forum for intrusive questions, meeting expectations or obligations. In fact, listening to others share - rather than feeling obligated to speak - is usually encouraged for first-timers. As the saying goes, "Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth."

 

Obligations and Expectations

 

Many first-timers expect they'll be bombarded with 12-step obligations during that first meeting. Will they ask you to sign up as a permanent member of the group? Are you supposed to give money to the group? Do you have to join one group and never leave?

 

Turns out you don't need to worry about any of these things. In truth, you are not obliged to pay dues, find a sponsor, provide your personal information or join anything. After meetings, the "regulars" tend to socialize for a while. If there's anything you'd like to know about the group, it's the perfect time to ask questions and get to know a few of the members.

 

Although 12-Step groups are similar in philosophy, the meetings themselves can greatly vary. It's vital to find a 12-Step group where you're comfortable and your recovery process is supported - these should be your sole expectations.

 

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Discuss these ideas with your friends on the forum.

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Category: Announcement

 

Good News! A special treat for GYE members.

 

12-Step Workshop by Dov on Phone

 

Dov - from the "Daily Dose of Dov" (who is currently 18 years sober in SA) is now giving over a 12-Step workshop on the phone. It started Monday (March 9, 2015) and will continue through Thursday, March 19. The call takes place at 12pm EST (using Duvid Chaim's timeslot, phone number + PIN).

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Category: GYE Principle #8


"With cunning make your battle" (Mishlei 24:6)

  

We are unlikely to succeed if we try to fight the Yetzer Hara head on. As the Ohr Hachayim writes (Parshas Acharei Mos), the only way to succeed in this struggle is to diligently guard our eyes and thoughts. Once we are thinking about these things, and especially if we see the temptations before our eyes, it will often be too late and we won't be able to control ourselves.

 

There are a series of stories recorded in Gemara Kiddushin (80a-81a) where Hashem demonstrated the power of the Yetzer Hara to some of the Tana'im who had belittled it's influence. The Gemara relates that the Satan presented himself to R' Akivah as a seductive woman in a treetop. He became so inflamed that he was unable to resist, and he started to climb the tree to sin. Halfway up the tree, the woman turned back into the Satan and said: "If it wouldn't be that it had been said in the Heavens to respect R' Akivah and his teachings, I'd take your life!". A similar story is recorded with R' Meir swimming across a river to sin with a woman, and upon reaching the halfway point, the woman turned back into the Satan, rebuking him with those same words. We can learn from these stories how it is almost impossible to overcome these tests when a person is faced head-on with powerful lust.

 

Therefore, to succeed in this struggle, we need to avoid fighting it head on. Just like terrorists are often successful because they don't try to fight a big army head on, we must also learn to apply guerilla warfare and pre-empt the Yetzer Hara. Fighting him head-on is a sure recipe for failure. Instead, we need to make careful fences to avoid him. To learn what fences we need to make, we have to start asking ourselves how the evil inclination has been so successful until today? How does he get us to fall? How do our minds work in the various situations we find ourselves in? In what habitual ways have we learned to scan our surroundings? How is our mind used to thinking and processing information? Which scenarios most trigger our lust? What moods are we in when it happens, and in what situations do we begin to slip?

 

When we study ourselves honestly (and sometimes it helps to view our behaviors as if we were a different person watching ourselves from the outside), we can learn how the evil inclination works with us. Then we can pre-empt him and prevent him from fighting us head-on. Ultimately, we must learn to try not to even get into discussions with him at all. Instead of fighting him directly, we must learn to walk around him.

 

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Discuss these ideas with your friends on the forum.

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 Limited Time Offer is Back - but it may take a bit of time to fulfill!


 
For those who find it hard to read the
and they feel they would have a lot to benefit from a hard copy, please contact 

 
with your snail-mail address and it will be mailed to you bl"n.
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To donate by phone, call (24 hours): 718-878-3075 


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GYE Corp.

P.O. Box 32380 

Pikesville, MD 21282

U.S.A.

Donations are tax deductible.


 

Quick Links 

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Our Websites 

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Guardyoureyes.com - Helping thousands break free

GYE Prevention - Shmiras einayim & resources for parents & educators

Venishmartem.com - Find the best filters for any device!

 

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Important Links

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The GuardYourEyes Handbook - Breaking Free of Lust Addiction, Step by Step.

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