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GuardYourEyes Chizuk E-Mail (No. 1218)  

Getting stronger every day!
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In Today's Issue 

  • Announcement: Step Work with Dov
     
  • Practical Tips: 7 Steps to Regaining Trust (p.6)
     
  • GYE Principle #5: No Pain, No Gain

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Category: Announcement

 

Good News! A special treat for GYE members.

 

12-Step Workshop by Dov on Phone

 

Dov - from the "Daily Dose of Dov" (who is currently 18 years sober in SA) is now giving over a 12-Step workshop on the phone. It started Monday (March 9, 2015) and will continue through Thursday, March 19. The call takes place at 12pm EST (using Duvid Chaim's timeslot, phone number + PIN).

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One-liner

  

 Even when you see NOTHING, G-D is WORKING.  

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Category: Practical Tips

 

7 Step Process To Regaining Trust In Recovery

 (Reprint from sobernation.com)

 

Drug [and lust] addicts lose things. It's just what happens.

 

...[And] at the end of the road, almost every addict will lose trust. Losing trust is possibly the most painful loss of all. It's agonizing, ...hearing the tone in your mother's voice when you tell her you will do something for her, and she just doesn't believe you. It fills you with guilt and shame.

 

Trust is never taken, it is always earned. It's one of the few Universal truths. It will always be this way, and because we are unable to take or steal trust, it makes it even harder to regain. There are no short cuts when rebuilding relationships.

 

I have spent a long time putting this together in my head... If you want to earn someone's trust back, and you are willing to earn it, than follow us. See full article. 

 

(Cont'd from issue 1217)

Step Six- Be Impeccable With Your Word 

 

Once you are at this step, you have come a long way. Yet, you probably aren't over the hill yet. At this point you have worked really hard to build discipline and a routine to take control of your life and started to gain some trust. Now you have to protect what you have worked so hard for.

 

Think of your word as if it were money. Your word may be even more valuable than money, so you have to protect it. You have to nurture it, and you have to keep it in good condition. Respect yourself enough to take yourself seriously.

 

Now, on the flip side, it is important not to over commit. Sometimes we get in the habit of trying to please everyone. I do this myself. There is nothing wrong with saying no. If you can't commit to something, then say no. Saying no is better than saying yes and letting someone down.

 

My Dad made this very simple for me:

"If you say you will do something - then do it. If you can't do something, than don't say that you can." - Thanks Pop!

 

Step Seven - Be Consistent 

 

Sometimes, even after we have tried as hard as we can, people still don't feel comfortable giving us their trust back. Can you blame them? Sometimes, years of lies and drug [porn] use can really hurt another person. Those scars can cut very deep. This may be especially true in romantic relationships.

 

Unfortunately, as we have said over and over again, it is not up to us when someone decides to trust us. It is usually a slow process, and you have to be consistent.

 

Everything worth having in life is usually hard to get. The harder you work to earn someone's trust back, the more valuable that relationship will be. How bad do you want it?

 

Now For The Cherry On Top

 

None of this is a guarantee. If your actions have made it so you will never be able to gain trust back, well, you will just have to live with that.

 

It does happen. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, how honest and reliable we become, some people will just never forgive us. That's okay.

 

Truth is, if you know in your heart that you have done everything you could do, than you have nothing to worry about. In fact, you have come out on top. All of this work you put in was not for nothing. Now every relationship you make from this point forward will be built on a sober, honest, and trustworthy foundation.

 

If you are a good person, and you do the right thing, than good things will happen to you. 

 

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Discuss these ideas with your friends on the forum.

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Category: GYE Principle #5

 

No pain no gain

 

By nature, we go to what feels good and try to avoid pain. In that, we are no different than cows. Animals don't understand that a painful experience can be beneficial. Try to explain surgery to a cow! Pleasure and suffering are both part of life. But we get to choose which pleasures we want and which suffering we want. And the choice is either the false pleasure that lust offers us, or the pleasures that Hashem wants us to have - which are infinitely greater. Do we choose the pain of the spiritual "work-out" or the pain of the Yetzer Hara getting stronger?

 

As we brought down in tool 1 of the handbook, the Steipler points out that anyone who keeps away from these forbidden pleasures is promised to receive the pleasures of life from other areas instead. And it follows that those who accept upon themselves the suffering that breaking-free entails, will save themselves much suffering in other areas of life.

 

If we decide that no matter how painful it is we won't give in - even if we feel like we are dying, Hashem takes away the pain from us and it becomes much easier.   

 

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Discuss these ideas with your friends on the forum.

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 Limited Time Offer is Back - but it may take a bit of time to fulfill!

Thank you for your patience!
***Free*** Hard Copy of the GYE Handbook
 
For those who find it hard to read the
and they feel they would have a lot to benefit from a hard copy, please contact 

 
with your snail-mail address and it will be mailed to you bl"n.

 

Please note that the booklets are sent in a plain yellow envelope, reinforced to prevent tearing open. Only the sender's address (NOT GYE) and the recipient's address are on the envelope and the required Post shipping label.

 
This offer is for those who commit to actually reading the handbook :-)

 

The sender kindly asks that you email us a confirmation when you actually receive the book as well as if you received one in the past.   

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Quick Links 

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Our Websites 

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Guardyoureyes.com - Helping thousands break free

GYE Prevention - Shmiras einayim & resources for parents & educators

Venishmartem.com - Find the best filters for any device!

 

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Important Links

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The GuardYourEyes Handbook - Breaking Free of Lust Addiction, Step by Step.

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