7 Step Process To Regaining Trust In Recovery

 (Reprint from sobernation.com)

Drug [and lust] addicts lose things. It's just what happens.

They lose money, they lose weight, they lose jobs, they lose freedom. From time to time, they will even lose their drugs. We all remember tearing our rooms and our cars apart for that little baggie that was just on our lap. The struggle is real...

At the end of the road, almost every addict will lose trust. Losing trust is possibly the most painful loss of all. It's agonizing, knowing that your family hides their valuables before you come over, or hearing the tone in your mothers voice when you tell her you will do something for her and she just doesn't believe you. It fills you with guilt and shame.

Trust is never taken, it is always earned. It's one of the few Universal truths. It will always be this way, and because we are unable to take or steal trust, it makes it even harder to regain. There are no short cuts when rebuilding relationships.

I have spent a long time putting this together in my head. Together, we came up with a 7 step plan in rebuilding trust. If you want to earn someone's trust back, and you are willing to earn it, than follow us. See full article. 

(Cont'd from issue 1215)

Step Four - Just Do The Right Thing

I heard a guy say once: "I can't always tell you what the right thing is, but I usually know it when I see it." I always remembered that.

Don't steal. Don't lie. Don't take your anger out on other people. Pick up a peace of trash on the sidewalk. Hold the door for people, tip your waitress, and don't be arrogant.

It's easy for me to sit here and type some words about doing the right thing, but it's not always that black and white. If you don't know what the right thing to do is, than ask someone.

Everyone makes mistakes. People are fallible, so if you make a mistake that's okay. But if you are trying, if you are really trying to be a better person, than it will pay off. Most of all, you will feel good about yourself. People who respect themselves also respect others. 

To be continued... 

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Discuss these ideas with your friends on the forum.

You Are not Alone

Almost everyone struggles with lust on some level, and a high percentage have stumbled in these areas as well. Rav Wolbe Zatza"l in his Sefer "Psychiatry and Religion" (Pg. 82) writes: "The difficult phase of adolescence is fertile soil for feelings of guilt, especially for religious youth. Masturbation is a serious prohibition. Yet almost all youth stumble with this and are unable to find the strength to overcome this in any way." (See tool 5 in part 1 of this handbook for more of what he suggests). Even Tzadikim of previous generations struggled in this area (as they mention "the sins of their youth"), so you can imagine that those who seek purity in a generation such as ours are truly from Hashem's greatest warriors! In the GYE community, you will find thousands of religious Jews like yourself, struggling in these areas. On our lively and vibrant forum, people like yourself exchange questions and tons of Chizuk, post logs of their progress and share experience and hope. And you can also read the many stories on our website to see what others have gone through and how they have succeeded.

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Discuss these ideas with your friends on the forum.

Please note that the booklets are sent in a plain yellow envelope, reinforced to prevent tearing open. Only the sender's address (NOT GYE) and the recipient's address are on the envelope and the required Post shipping label.