~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GuardYourEyes Chizuk E-Mail (No. 1214)  

Getting stronger every day!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Follow us on Twitter

 

In Today's Issue 

  • Announcement: Step Work with Dov
     
  •  Video of the Day: Purim Disguise
     
     
  • Practical Tips: 7 Steps to Regaining Trust (p.2)
     
  • Torah Thought: Davening for Your Friend
     

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Category: Announcement

 

Good News! A special treat for GYE members.

 

12-Step Workshop by Dov on Phone

 

Dov - from the "Daily Dose of Dov" (who is currently 18 years sober in SA) - will be giving over a 12-Step workshop on the phone for the 2 weeks following Purim.

 

Beginning Monday after Purim (March 9) through Thursday, March 19, at 12pm EST (using Duvid Chaim's timeslot, phone number + PIN). 209-255-1000 PIN 637207#. (For numbers from countries outside of the U.S see this page).

 

 See what Dov writes about the upcoming workshop. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

One-liner

  

 Time heals almost everything. Give time time. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Category: Practical Tips

 

7 Step Process To Regaining Trust In Recovery

 (Reprint from sobernation.com) Part 2

(cont'd from issue 1213)

 

Drug [and lust] addicts lose things. It's just what happens.

 

They lose money, they lose weight, they lose jobs, they lose freedom. From time to time, they will even lose their drugs. We all remember tearing our rooms and our cars apart for that little baggie that was just on our lap. The struggle is real...

 

At the end of the road, almost every addict will lose trust. Losing trust is possibly the most painful loss of all. It's agonizing, knowing that your family hides their valuables before you come over, or hearing the tone in your mothers voice when you tell her you will do something for her and she just doesn't believe you. It fills you with guilt and shame.

 

Trust is never taken, it is always earned. It's one of the few Universal truths. It will always be this way, and because we are unable to take or steal trust, it makes it even harder to regain. There are no short cuts when rebuilding relationships.

 

I have spent a long time putting this together in my head. Together, we came up with a 7 step plan in rebuilding trust. If you want to earn someone's trust back, and you are willing to earn it, than follow us. See full article. 

 

Step Two - Avoid Victim Mentality

 

Don't be a victim. Seriously, there is nothing more depressing than a victim. There is a very real possibility that you may have had some terrible things happen to you. Maybe you dealt with death, or sexual assault. Maybe your Dad left you when you were a kid. The truth is that you can't Nerf the world. There is no bumper bowling through life. Life is hard - that's just the reality.

 

Living with a victim mentally will keep people away from you. People are drawn to strong people who don't give excuses. As long as you are blaming a circumstance as the reason for why you behaved the way you did, people will never trust you.

 

The intention is not to come off as callus or cruel, the intent is for you to lose the "woe is me" mentality and take control of your life. No matter what the circumstance, you have something to be grateful for.

 

If you have a situation you need to grieve over, than that's okay. Everyone get's down, but taking the step to deal with a situation is taking control. Therapy or meetings are a proactive approach. Do not sit and isolate and sulk.

 

I have a friend. He broke his back in a dirt bike accident when he was 19 and his mother died when he was young. He will never walk. He is in a wheel chair and will be his whole life. He figured out how to drive a car, how to have a girlfriend, how to maintain a job, and how to build long term sobriety. He did it, you can do it too.

 

You are not a victim, so don't act like one. Trustworthy people are not victims, they are survivors.

To be continued... 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Discuss these ideas with your friends on the forum.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Category: Torah Thought

 

Davening for Your Friend

 

In the Megila, Mordechai says to Esther (along the lines of): "don't think you're going to run into the palace and be saved".


Rav Hutner explains this with the Chazal; "Someone who davens for his friend will be answered first". When you can experience the pain of someone else because you KNOW what that pain feels like, your teffilah comes from a broken heart and that is what can penetrate the gates of Heaven. 

Mordechai was saying to Esther that if she chooses to run into the palace, there's no way she would be able to 100% relate to the pain and suffering of Bnei Yisroel and therefore her Teffilos will be far less powerful. 

We know Purim is a prime time for davening and we can use it to have the pain of our friends on GYE in mind. We're all fighting the same battle, the same desires, the same Yetzer Hara... may our Tefillos be answered for everyone and ourselves this Purim!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Discuss these ideas with your friends on the forum.

video

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Category: Video of the Day

Purim Disguise: Blessings with a Mask On!

Download this inspirational video about the secret of Purim from Rabbi Eli Scheller.

May we all be zoche to see how all of our struggles are really blessings in disguise!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

newsletterCategory: Purim Newsletter


Click here for the Anonymous version (it has one vort less than the regular version)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A big Yasher Koach to Lizensk for his efforts in this worthwhile endeavor.

A Freilichen Purim to all our GYE members!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 Limited Time Offer is Back!


***Free*** Hard Copy of the GYE Handbook
 
For those who find it hard to read the GYE handbook online or as a PDF file, and they feel they would have a lot to benefit from a hard copy, please contact 
 
[email protected]
 
with your snail-mail address and it will be mailed to you bl"n.

Please note that the booklets are sent in a plain yellow envelope, reinforced to prevent tearing open. Only the sender's address (NOT GYE) and the recipient's address are on the envelope and the required Post shipping label.

 
This offer is for those who commit to actually reading the handbook :-)

 

The sender kindly asks that you email us a confirmation when you actually receive the book as well as if you received one in the past.   

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

workshopDov writes about the upcoming workshop:

  • Are you a sex or lust addict who is willing to do whatever it takes to live free? 
  • Have you found the steps to be a waste of time? 
  • Do you know the 12 steps well but still feel they don't speak to you in a practical way? 
  • Are you a non-addict upset with your own pesky desires for schmutz and curious about the 12 steps?  
  • Are you frustrated about your inability to stop acting-out with lust in a way that addicts seem to use their drugs? 
  • Are you tired of these prying questions?

As a recovering addict, I will be sharing each of the steps on the calls based on simple honesty and openness about myself, my disease, and my experience using these steps one day at a time as a Jew, husband and father. So let's work off our Purim booze and bring our most embarrassing questions and worst complaints about the steps (and maybe about ourselves, too) noon-1pm NYC time, Monday-Thursday March 9-19th. (After all, Pesach will still be a few weeks away and our wives seem to be doing fine without us, as usual...) 

 

The general agenda will be to share how the steps work as a single, simple unit to help sick people get well be"H. 

 

Talk 1 - Step 1 and the 12 Step culture: Who needs any of it? Who needs all of it? (This call will be followed by an invitation for anyone who wishes, to share their short, written, 1st step on a private PIN # we will arrange).

 

Talk 2 - Steps 2 and 3: What's missing from these steps for frum Jews, and why aren't these steps enough on their own for addicts in recovery?

 

Talk 3 - Steps 4-7 and the answer to last week's question, be"H, and why step 4 alone doesn't solve any problems.

 

Talk 4 - Steps 8-10 and how they are part of step 7 and the way to get and keep a 3rd step.

 

Talk 5 - Steps 11 and 12 and finally something a little religious! Why wait so long for something so good? And why wait till after all these steps to start sponsoring others?

 

Talk 6 - Step 12 1/2? A discussion about how being frum can help recovery or hurt it - and also about how being frum can help - or hurt - avodas Hashem, of all things.

 

Nobody will be asked to use their real names when sharing on the call, as this line is obviously not a secure one due to the PIN being available online. But all who wish, are encouraged to speak up in a way that keeps the decorum comfortable for all. It is hoped that all of us keep the 11th and 12th traditions of AA on this call and do not ever break anyone else's anonymity in any way. And that is the only way calls like this - and any recovery groups - can ever survive and succeed. 

 

Any suggestions/questions about the call can be sent to my email [email protected]- please type "WORKSHOP" in the subject.

Thanks, and G-d bless all of us, addicts or not!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Help Us Help Others!

 

Please help support our work so we can continue to help acheinu b'nei Yisrael!

Secure On-line Donations here

(Anonymous recurring credit card donations possible)

To donate by phone, call (24 hours): 718-878-3075 


Checks can be made out to: "GYE Corp." and mailed to:

GYE Corp.

P.O. Box 32380 

Pikesville, MD 21282

U.S.A.

Donations are tax deductible.


 

Quick Links 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Our Websites 

~~~~~~~~~~

Guardyoureyes.com - Helping thousands break free

GYE Prevention - Shmiras einayim & resources for parents & educators

Venishmartem.com - Find the best filters for any device!

 

Help spread the word. Print this flyer!

- GYE Poster

 

Important Links

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The GuardYourEyes Handbook - Breaking Free of Lust Addiction, Step by Step.

Browse previous E-Mails 

Contact Us  

Haskamos

Join Our Mailing List
If you have been forwarded this e-mail by a friend, click above to join the list!