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GuardYourEyes Chizuk E-Mail (No. 1212)  

Getting stronger every day!
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In Today's Issue  

  • Torah Thought: GYE Principle #2, part 2
  • Addiction Perspective: What is Your Plan?
     
     
  • Attitude: The Value of Failure
     
  • Link of the Day: GYE Newsletter reprint: Tetzave

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Rabbi Feuerman's, LCSW-R, Friday Phone Conference

  
The Chosson (and Kallah) Shmooze You WISH You Had,
but Never Got!
8:30 AM NY Time
3:30 PM Israel Time

The call-in number is: 
U.S: 209 255 1000              Israel: 076 599 0060
Participant PIN: 637207#

For archives of previous shiurim see here.

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Category: Torah Thought

 

GYE Principle #2 

 
Fear of Heaven can't always stop us, but it can PUSH us
cont'd from issue 1211

 

With this in mind, let us explore a few aspects about these sins that can help strengthen our Fear of Heaven to make sure that we indeed take every step we can to break free:

Chazal (Niddah 13a) write that HZ"L is as if one has spilled blood or worshiped Avodah Zorah, and that those who do it are chayev misah biday shamayim. The Zohar even goes so far as to say that it is the worst sin in the Torah. Another terrible result of these sins that is brought down in the holy books, is that they desensitize us to spiritual connection. The more we sin in these areas, the more desensitized we become. This is a commonly experienced phenomenon, where people slowly lose their yearning for spirituality and they start to feel ever more disconnected from Torah, Shabbos and Mitzvos. Unfortunately, this also makes Teshuvah all the more unlikely, as one becomes more and more disconnected.

 

Also, these behaviors require hiding, lying and living a double life. This cuts us off from the world around us and doesn't let us feel the tremendous kindness of Hashem that fills our lives. It blinds us to the goodness in the world around us, to our souls and to Hashem. We begin to lose appreciation for our own wives and children. We are unable to find inner peace; we can't stop lusting and we remain closed up within a shell that no one can penetrate.

 

It is also brought down in Kabalistic texts that every drop emitted in vain causes souls to be created, and these souls are snatched up by the forces of evil and become demonic forces that cause much suffering in a person's life. The souls themselves also suffer in misery with no hope (unless we fix ourselves), and after we die they stand as terrible accusers against us.

 

But do not let all these dramatic revelations cause you to despair. Teshuvah was created even before the world was created, and Hashem knew that we would stumble in these areas. Hashem has infinite patience and He understands us far better than we understand ourselves. Chazal say that Hashem even brought David Hamelech to stumble with Bas Sheva, only to show us the incredible power of Teshuvah.

 

Also, it is brought down in the Holy books that, through a sincere Teshuvah, all the souls that we created through our sins actually become uplifted, and they change from being "accusing angels" to "defending angels" instead.

 

So never despair! Although the standard Teshuvah model may not always work well when dealing with these addictive behaviors (see part B where this is discussed more in depth), by learning the proper perspective on this struggle and by taking the steps we can to break free, we are doing exactly what Hashem intended for us to do all along. That is our Teshuvah. 

 

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Discuss this feature with your friends on  the forum. 

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One-liner

  

 Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 

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Announcement

 

The Nesivos Shalom Conference Call

 

SUNDAY Mornings from 9AM to 9:30AM EST 

 

Reb Noach Schwartz, LCSW will give a shiur in Nesivos Shalom specially geared to GYE members, followed by insights, sharing and Q&A.

*Kindly call in for an enjoyable, educational, and chasidishe schmooze!*

 

Call in number:

From U.S: (605) 562-3131

Israel: (076) 599-0060

(From other countries, see this page)

PIN# 952533 (for all countries)

 

For Reb Noach's therapy page  here. For Reb Noach's website  here.

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Category: Addiction Perspective


What is Your Plan? 

I received this letter from one who is in the recovery field and I like his letter...
  
Hi..
It is important to me that you survive addiction and thrive in recovery. Why?  I am a lover of people. I hate when people suffer. I particularly hate it when people suffer unnecessarily. 

I know it is possible to overcome addiction. I have been there in the darkness and found a way to the light. I am 23 years into recovery now and things are making more and more sense. I share this with anyone who can hear it. There are specific ways, skillful means, to get out of addiction's formidable grasp.  

It is not a mystery how or why people become addicted to things. We understand how addiction develops in the brain, how it messes with our nervous and endocrine systems and how it turns our thinking against us. Thankfully, we also understand how to get out of its grasp. So, for those of you who are suffering in it or have a loved one who is, please take note and then take action...

One thing you will need for certain is a plan.  Floating through life as an addict will not cut it. Addiction doesn't work that way.  If you think you can handle it on your own then you totally misunderstand this cunning dis-ease. Addiction is there to teach you some things. 

First, it is there to teach you humility. That's right.  To get out of it you are actually going to have to rely on other people. This is great because up until a person gets clean and sober, they are trapped in a manner of living that is characterized by isolation. They may be around other people, but typically they are not really sharing what is going on so they might as well be alone.  

People who live in shame behind a private life of secrets, do not excel forward in life. 

This is one of the side effects of addiction, though people stuck in it cannot see it until they hit their bottom.  Hitting bottom simply means the moment when you are ready to tell the truth.  

So, once this happens, part of that truth will always be, "I do not know what to do, and I need help."  
  
This is an amazingly powerful and humble statement...

  
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Discuss these ideas with your friends on the forum.

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Category: Attitude

  
The Value of Failure

  

In Chinese, the word for disaster and opportunity is the same. No one is immune to the fear of failure; all of us have failed and misinterpreted its meaning. The experience of failure is painful. However, it is this pain that can initiate a search for its sources.

We can begin to realize that to fail in an endeavor in no way indicates our failure as a person. Nor does it necessarily have to upset our peace of mind or self-esteem, unless we allow it to.

In the Spirit of Business (p.72)

Robert Roskind

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Category: Link of the Day

  
Reprint:
GYE Newsletter

  

Download this week's Newsletter, Parshas Tetzaveh

In case you want to read it in shul and you don't want people seeing the GYE Logo, CLICK HERE for a text-only version.

It contains vertlach and anecdotes on the Parshas Hashavuah, and many members from the forum contribute to produce this valuable newsletter.
 
We suggest printing it out to read over Shabbos.

 We'd like to give a big Yasher Koach to a member who calls himself Lizensk for his efforts in this worthwhile endeavor, and we wish him much success in all future editions!
  
Good Shabbos to all our GYE members!

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 Limited Time Offer is Back!


***Free*** Hard Copy of the GYE Handbook
 
For those who find it hard to read the GYE handbook online or as a PDF file, and they feel they would have a lot to benefit from a hard copy, please contact 
 
[email protected]
 
with your snail-mail address and it will be mailed to you bl"n.

Please note that the booklets are sent in a plain yellow envelope, reinforced to prevent tearing open. Only the sender's address (NOT GYE) and the recipient's address are on the envelope and the required Post shipping label.

 
Note: This offer is for those who commit to reading the handbook :-)

 

The sender kindly asks that you email us a confirmation when you actually receive the book as well as if you received one in the past.   

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Quick Links 

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 Our Websites 

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Important Links

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