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GuardYourEyes Chizuk E-Mail (No. 1211)  

Getting stronger every day!
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In Today's Issue 

  • Attitude: Live Well, Die Well
     
  • Torah Thought: GYE Principle #2  
  • Addiction Perspective: The 3 Levels of Sex Addiction - Part 3

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Category: Attitude

 

Live Well, Die Well 

 

הנך מת על האשה...

Sometimes, if we don't give in, we FEEL like we'll die (even though we know we won't). 
But if we DO give in, we know it will kill us for REAL.

So let's imagine both were somehow true and we are goners either way: 
why give in and LOSE everything
 - if we can just as well NOT give in and GAIN everything (in both this world and the next)!?

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Discuss this feature with your friends on  the forum. 

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One-liner

  

 Use the 24-hour plan. Stay clean just for today. 

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Category: Torah Thought

 

GYE Principle #2:

Fear of Heaven can't always stop us, but it can PUSH us

Part 1 of 2 

 

Often we are aware of how serious these sins are, yet our "Fear of Heaven" alone isn't always enough to stop us when faced with an attack of lust. It's not that we don't fear Hashem, but will power alone is often not sufficient when dealing with these extremely addictive behaviors. Not only that, but lust is so powerful that even the greatest Tzadikim who feared Hashem with all their hearts, sometimes felt powerless when faced head-on with lust. See what happened with Masya ben Charash and Rav Amram, Rabban Shel Chassidim. In both these cases, these great Tzadikim had to take extreme measures to ensure they didn't stumble.

 

The Medrash Yalkut Shimoni (Vayechi) tells this story :

Once the Satan fixed his sight on Masya ben Charash who was a big Tzaddik, and said to himself: "Is it possible that this man does not sin?" Then the Satan went and asked G-d: "How do you view Rabbi Masya Ben Charash?" And G-d replied: "He is a perfect Tzaddik". The Satan said to G-d: "Give me permission to put him to the test". G-d told the Satan: "Go".

 

The Satan appeared to the Rabbi as a beautiful woman, the likes of which had never been in the world. When the Tzaddik saw her, he immediately turned his face away. Then the woman quickly moved to the side where Rabbi Masya had turned his face to, and again he quickly turned his face away. Then the Tzaddik said: "I am afraid that my Yetzer Hara will overpower me and cause me to sin". What did the Tzaddik do? He called a student that was with him and ordered him to bring him fire with nails. The student brought him nails and the Tzaddik put them into the fire and then to his eyes and became blind. When the Satan saw this, he trembled and fell on his back. 

 

At that time The Holy One Blessed be He called the angel Raphael - for he is in charge of healing - and told him: "Go and heal Rabbi Masya Ben Charash". Then Raphael came in front of the Rabbi and the Rabbi asked him: "Who are you?" and he replied: "I am Raphael the angel, I came for G-d sent me to cure your eyes". Rabbi Masya replied: "Leave me alone, what is already done is done". Raphael returned before the Holy One Blessed be He and said: "Master of the World, thus spoke Masya". G-d said to Raphael: "Go back to him and tell him that I will personally guarantee that the Yetzer Hara will have no power over him". Immediately Raphael went and cured Masya. From here our Sages said: "All those who are careful not to look at women, the Yetzer Hara has no power over them".

The Gemara in Kidushin 81/a tells this story:

Some women who had been taken captive were redeemed and brought to Nehardai. They were kept in the attic of Rav Amram the Chasid and the ladder was removed. At night, a beam of light reflected off one of the women, revealing her beauty. Rav Amram was seized with lust and he moved the ladder (which normally needs 10 people to move it) to ascend. As he was halfway up, he screamed "There is a fire in Rav Amram's house!" and the Rabanan (Rabbis and students) flocked to his house. After they saw that there was no fire they said to him, "You embarrassed us (with your behavior)!" Answered Rav Amram: "It is better to suffer embarrassment in this world than in the next".

 

What we can learn from the two stories above is that, although Yiras Shamayim is not always enough on its own, it should push us to take EVERY step we can to break free of these pitfalls (see Part 1 of this handbook to learn the steps you can take).

 

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Discuss these ideas with your friends on the forum.

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Category: Addiction Perspective

  
The 3 Levels of Sex Addiction
(p. 3 of 3)
*cont'd from issue 1210*

Sex addiction is a term that's becoming more and more prevalent in all aspects of the addiction community.  This is particularly true as we discover more about the addiction interaction disorder of stimulants and sex.  A spirited debate as to whether there's even such a thing as sexual addiction has been developing for some time now. "People can't be addicted to sex - it's just what people do" is often heard, while on the other hand, there are people that apply the same definition of addiction to alcohol and/or drugs to that of sex.  There's no way to deny that someone who has difficulty controlling their sexual urges, behaviors and/or thoughts will see a progression of their symptoms leading to negative consequences in their lives.  For sex addicts, there are levels to the severity of the addiction and these are a good indication of the type of treatment that is needed. There are three levels of sex addiction.

Level III
 

These are behaviors in which there are significant boundary violations culturally and legally.

Rape

Child molestation

Obtaining/viewing child pornography

Obtaining/viewing rape/snuff pornography

Sexual abuse of older or dependent persons

Incest

Professional boundary violations (clergy, therapists, teachers, doctors) 
 

 

Red Level (i.e. combination of professional help and group support) of GYE Tools is appropriate for dealing with the Level III sex addiction. There may also be legal consequences for someone engaging in these types of behavior. Nonetheless, we urge anyone who may suffer from this level of addiction, to seek help and prevent further harm to yourself and others.

Please know, that addiction is a progressive disease. Over any considerable period of time, it gets worth, never better. Get help while there is still time!

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Quick Links 

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Our Websites 

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Important Links

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The GuardYourEyes Handbook - Breaking Free of Lust Addiction, Step by Step.

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