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We had three small children, and I believe I had between 2 to 3 years of sobriety at the time. At that time, I lived in a Brooklyn, NY, frum community, and have tasted the sweetest waters of recovery (all of which is really found in Torasaynu). Day after day, I have tried applying the principles of kindness, honesty, love, and responsibility, to the best of my imperfect ability.

One morning, I woke up for Shacharis, around 6 am, and immediately I realized how pathetic I am, how hopeless I feel, how life is WAY WAY WAY too STRESSFUL, and "oh my G-d, how can I possibly do ANYTHING productive in life?!?!"

Then, for one split second, a tiny flash entered into my mind saying, "you have a few years of recovery, you have blessings in your life. IT'S BETTER THAN YOU THINK! No matter what your brain tells you, it's better than you think."

And with that thought, I got the courage to move 'into life'...

I sat up to do Nagel Vasser. The house was still quiet - which, as those who have children know, is a BLESSING! 

I slowly put one foot on the floor. 

Then, while putting down the other foot... BOOM!!! In the dark room, I stepped on one of the children's toys! It slipped out from under my foot and slammed into a wall nearby, disturbing the peaceful quiet I was so desperately hoping for, while preparing to leave the house!

But then again it hit me, "It's better than I think"... whew))))  the kid's didn't wake up!

Next, I opened the bedroom door to head towards the bathroom and immediately a mouse ran into the hallway right in front of me, quickly out of sight. Of course, I was a little bit agitated, but, once again, it hit me: "No matter what my brain sees, it's better than I think, let's keep moving!"

Then, while trying to keep quiet so the whole house could stay sleeping, I opened the bathroom door and turned on the lights only to see a cockroach crawl up the bathroom wall, and into a small crack out of sight. Not much I could do, so once again I told myself, "It's better than I think."

And so it went for the next 15 minutes, while peacefully getting ready with (thank G-d) still-sleeping children: brushing teeth, putting on my clothes, and taking 2 minutes to sit on the couch before leaving the house, constantly telling myself the entire time that, "It's better than I think", over and over again. "It's better than I think, it's better than I think." G-d is miraculous. We Jews are miraculous. Whatever negativity my mind wants to so strongly convenience me of, it is all wrong, because "it's better than I think."

Some may call me naive, but that is how I finally made it out the door and walked down half a block to shul, every step of the way telling myself with a smile (maybe a foolish smile, some may think), "it's better than I think." It was still dark outside. I was the only one walking on the dark Brooklyn block, and with every step, I was hopefully repeating to myself, "It's better than I think, it's better than I think, it's better than I think".

As I entered the shul, the only one there was the brother of the Rachmistrivka Rebbe in Israel. He was facing me, and he KNOWS me (he and I had had a few heart-to-heart talks about chinuch, shalom bayis, bitachon etc. He is also the nephew of the Rachmistrivka in Boro Park).

As soon as he saw me, he STOOD UP, and said powerfully, with a lively smile and wave of the hand, "YOSEF!, IT'S BETTER THAN YOU THINK!"  

I can still see the twinkle in his eye as he stood there beaming at me, while I felt like I was in some dream!

And still today, even when I am in a GOOD mood, it's still "better than we think!"

"Tracht Gut Vet Zain Gut"