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GuardYourEyes Chizuk E-Mail (No. 1196)

Getting stronger every day!

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In Today's Issue

Attitude: Fascinating vs. Frustrating
Member Chizuk: Hashem, Save Me from Myself
Audio of the Day: Shovavim Shiurim by Rav Belsky

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Category: Attitude

Fascinating vs. Frustrating

They are pretty similar, both of them, in that both put your brain in a position where too much is happening, and it can't be internalized. If I am angry that I can't understand what's going on, I become frustrated. If I accept that a Power much bigger than me is acting in my life, even if I don't understand, I lean towards becoming fascinated.

A friend of mine, who became fully religious, used to be married to a non-Jewish woman. His son from that marriage was so impressed with him becoming a religious Jew, that he himself, the son, also wanted to become Jewish. After 1 year of going through the entire process of conversion, the 17-year old boy was killed by a drunk driver the day before he was going to speak with the rabbis and become a Jew.

Despite this terrible tragedy, my friend, the father, who is still alive and well, is one of the most positive upbeat happy people I know. My children even know him as the man with the happy face.

He's the one that once told me "anytime you want to say the word frustrated or are feeling frustrated, use the word fascinated instead - because both of them are basically saying you can't understand what's going on, nor can you control it. So choose the wonder and amazement of fascination instead of the anger and selfishness of frustration."

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Category: Practical Tips

Hashem, Save Me from Myself!

By Anonymous

I was in chutz laaretz for two weeks as part of my work. One particular event on my trip caused me many lustful thoughts. B"H, I am still "clean" in GYE terms, but my mind is driving me crazy. I can tell I am walking at the edge of the precipice. Lusting opened doors that otherwise have been closed for at least 5 months. I came from Chu"l thinking: alright, I am going to solve my yesurim by being with my wife. To my dismay, she was unclean, with no end in sight. What do I do now???

There is one insight I would like to share. What in your opinion is the main objective of the AA Big Book? Actually, its authors have answered this question themselves. If you look on page 45 (4th edition): The objective of the book is "TO ENABLE YOU TO FIND A POWER GREATER THAN YOURSELF WHICH WILL SOLVE YOUR PROBLEM." Rabosai, this is the whole Torah, all the rest is pirushim!

When they and we and everybody else talks about Hashem doing the job for us, it is the only reality. And this is where we should strive and make this our goal. I forget this Universal Truth sometimes, thinking I am sober because of "Kochi ve Otzem Yadi": I watch my eyes, I watch my body, and I watch myself. That is as far from the truth as East from West. There is only one way and one way only. In order to live, I have to let my ego rest in peace, my acting out has to stop, and I should tell Hashem, "Please, YOU take over now. Please save me from myself." The more I am mevatel myself, the more kiyum I have.

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One-liner

Climb the mountain so you can see the world, not so the world can see you.

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Category: Audio of the Day

Shovavim

A clip from Irgun Shiurai Torah's Shovavim series is being shared with permission. In this 11-minute clip, Rabbi Yisroel Belsky discusses the issue of chibuk v'nishuk (hugging and kissing) that is done not in proximity to having relations.

"On the one hand, showing love and affection to our wives, even (indeed, especially) when it's not in a sexual context, is extremely important for Shalom Bayis. On the other hand, perhaps showing affection in a physical way can create certain challenges for the husband; this is especially true for husbands who are addicts."

Especially relevant for the GYE community: the clip discusses addictions, as well as the importance of exercising restraint and living a balanced life, as discussed by the Rambam in Shemonah Perakim (4th Perek).

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/243744-Preparing-for-Intimacy---Halacha-and-Hashkafa#244690

You will need to log-in and have access to the Baalei Batim forum to have access to these Shiurim. We apologize that we can't make them available to everybody: these topics are specific to married people and are, therefore, restricted to singles, like all Taharas HaMishpocho classes would be. If you are a married woman, please email us and I will forward you the audio file. Include your username in the email.

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Also, if you haven't heard the clips from Rabbi Belsky regarding the Halacha and Hashkafa of intimacy/preparing for intimacy, we highly recommend them as well - see link below (again, you will need access to the married men's forum).

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/243744-Preparing-for-Intimacy---Halacha-and-Hashkafa#243744

Note: These clips are being shared with permission from Irgun Shiurai Torah. Recordings on hundreds of topics can be ordered from Irgun Shiurai Torah by calling (718) 851-8651, or by sending an e-mail to tapecenter@yeshivanet.com

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Limited Time Offer is Back!

***Free*** Hard Copy of the GYE Handbook

For those who find it hard to read the GYE handbook online or as a PDF file, and they feel they would have a lot to benefit from a hard copy, please contact
yehudagerlitz@gmail.com

with your snail-mail address and it will be mailed to you bl"n.

Note: This offer is only for those who commit to actually reading the handbook :-)

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