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GuardYourEyes Chizuk E-Mail (No. 1193)

Getting stronger every day!

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In Today's Issue

Testimonial: Take the First Step
Member Chizuk: Striving for Imperfection
Attitude: Trust G-d. Trust Yourself.

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NEW! NEW! NEW!

Rabbi Feuerman's, LCSW-R, Friday Phone Conference

The Chosson (and Kallah) Shmooze You WISH You Had,

but Never Got!

8:30 AM NY Time

3:30 PM Israel Time

The call-in number is:

U.S: 209 255 1000 Israel: 076 599 0060

Participant PIN: 637207#

For archives of previous shiurim see here.

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Category: Testimonial

Take the First Step

Over a year ago, my wife had brought me to a home where they sell women's clothing. (My wife always wants me to come along to help her pick out something that I/she likes. She believes I have 'good taste', and she wants her clothing to find chein in my eyes.)

At that time, a young attractive girl who was selling the dresses, began flirting with me. It wasn't good for me, and I never forgot this experience.

Just last week, my wife wanted to go back to the same place. I immediately got very nervous, "Oy vey, this could be my end!" I have been doing very well, and was not looking for any temptations. I knew that I had to do something! I took upon myself a neder that I would stay outside by myself, and not go in unless completely necessary. So I waited outside, expecting my wife to call me in at any time to look at something she found. I have waited for about 45 minutes. Finally, she came out with a dress in her hand. "I found something that was so perfect that I didn't even need you to see it first!" This is something that NEVER happens. I couldn't believe it!

When we take the first step, and show Hashem that we are serious about our t'shuva, He also gets serious.

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Category: Member Chizuk

Striving for Imperfection

By Imperfection

I am held up as an example of excellence in learning and davening, all the while holding a demanding job. Of course, no one knows about what I REALLY do. I am not a fraud, by the way. I am always upset after falling, and resolve to stop. It's just that I cannot seem to stop. ( Maybe I am an addict?)

This seems to be a very peculiar combination, - very frum good bochur (and later kollel man, and later combining learning and working), with sexual addictions. In fact, having read a lot of GYE, I discovered that this is a very common combination. I am not sure why, but maybe our frumkeit is not really about submitting to Hashem's will, but about pursuing perfection and excellence. In other words, we are serving our ego, not Hashem. And there is nothing better for smashing one's ego then realizing that we have an addiction that is out of control.

I feel my heart pounding when I see an unfiltered computer, with my whole being feverishly scheming a way to be alone with this dreadful machine. With all the resolve in the world, I can usually resist for about a minute or too before falling. And a short time earlier I may have been davening Mincha with true Kavono!

Is it addiction? Is it "normal"? Is the rest of the frum world like this?

Well, I say, "Who cares!" . . .

Read the full story.

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Share your success story. We are looking for accounts from female members in particular. There are many women and girls out there who struggle and don't know that sexual sobriety is possible. Help them by sharing your recovery success.

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One-liner

This program is helping us understand that fears are human, normal, and survivable.

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Announcement

The Nesivos Shalom Conference Call

SUNDAY Mornings from 9AM to 9:30AM EST

Reb Noach Schwartz, LCSW will give a shiur in Nesivos Shalom specially geared to GYE members, followed by insights, sharing and Q&A.

*Kindly call in for an enjoyable, educational, and chasidishe schmooze!*

Call in number:

From U.S: (605) 562-3131

Israel: (076) 599-0060

(From other countries, see this page)

PIN# 952533 (for all countries)

For Reb Noach's therapy page here. For Reb Noach's website here.

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Category: Attitude

Trust G-d. Trust Yourself.

The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.
--Swedish proverb

During our illness, we hurt others. We hurt ourselves. We messed up a lot.

So, a lot of us come into recovery not trusting ourselves very much. The truth is, as addicts, we couldn't be trusted.

But in recovery, we can be trusted again. We can again live and love ourselves.

We do this by finding our spiritual center. This is the place inside of us where our Higher Power lives.

We turn our will and our lives over to this spiritual center. We do as our spiritual center tells us.

And from our spiritual center, we'll find our values. We'll live better lives. We'll come to trust ourselves again.

Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, thank You for helping me believe in myself again. I'll treat myself with love and kindness. I know You want me to.

Action for the Day

Today, I'll list four ways I couldn't be trusted during my addiction. I'll also list four ways I can now be trusted.

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Help Us Help Others!