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GuardYourEyes Chizuk E-Mail (No. 1187)
Getting stronger every day!
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Rabbi Feuerman's Friday Phone Conference
Parshas Vayetzei - "A Heart Hard as Stone"
8:30 AM NY Time
3:30 PM Israel Time
The call-in number is: U.S: 209 255 1000 Israel: 076 599 0060 Participant PIN: 637207# For archive of previous Shiurim see here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COMING SOON!
A new shiur series by Rabbi Feuerman beginning Friday, Dec 26:
The Chosson (and Kallah) Shmooze you WISH you had, but never got!
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Category: Torah Thought
One Day at a Time, not Two Times a Day
Shared By Rabbi Dr. A. Twerski in a light-hearted vein.
Use it to lighten up your dinner conversation tonight.
The transformation that occurred at Yetzias Mitzrayim, from a slave mentality to the spirituality of was miraculous. How did it occur? With the mitzvah of Sefira, taking life "one day at a time".
Why then, was there so great a failure at the episode of the golden calf?
Perhaps because it was only 49 days, not 90.
Bnei Yissaschar notes that the giving of the Torah was a union of Hashem and Klal Yisrael. Prior thereto, the Jews had been bound to the avoda zara of Egypt. He then asks, the halacha says that a widow or divorcee must wait 90 days before taking a new husband. Shouldn't there have been a 90 day waiting period before Mattan Torah?
He answers that beginning with the 7th day of Sefira, we do a double count: "Today is seven days, which is one week. Today is 11 days, which is one week plus four days." Thus we count six single days, and 43 double days. The double days 43 x 2 = 86, plus 6 single days, so you have more than the requisite 90.
But if so, why did they relapse to the avoda zara of the golden calf?
Because the program requires 90 meetings in 90 days. Doubling up and making 90 meetings in 45 days doesn't work. :)
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Category: Member Chizuk
It all boils down to: "Can we keep getting away with it or not?"
By The Guard
Fact: No matter how much we 'know' it's bad for us, physically and spiritually, addicts will act-out as long AS LONG AS WE CAN GET AWAY WITH IT. That is an addict, by definition.
Internal Solution: The 12-Step program helps us reach a level of maturity where we have truly internalized that lust is poison for us, and we simply CAN'T GET AWAY WITH IT anymore. Once we have this level of maturity, we can go out into the big world and be surrounded with triggers, yet we will simply not allow the lust to penetrate into our hearts. In the same way that we can be surrounded by non-Kosher restaurants and fast-food joints, and we won't even consider buying the food, even if we are very hungry - we know deep down that we are allergic to lust and it is just "not shayach" to us, for our own self-interest. This deep internalization comes with a REAL first step. Sometimes it can happen over night, but sometimes it can take years to get the first step right.
External Solution: Until we have reached the level of maturity mentioned above, we have to find another way to NOT TO BE ABLE TO GET AWAY WITH IT. The TaPHSiC method serves this purpose beautifully. (Read about it here. Listen to a 10 minute recording that explains it here). The idea in a nutshell is, that we need to create personal fences for ourselves around every acting-out behavior that we know can lead us down the slippery slope of active addiction: from watching porn to self-pleasuring to taking that 'second look' in the street. We must find ways of making these behaviors simply cost "too much" to allow us to continue getting away with them. Once we do that, the addict in us will have no choice but to give it up. It can take a lot of trial and error, but once we get it right, it's like a switch goes off in the brain, and we will suddenly feel a freedom from the obsessions that plagued us for so long, draining us from life and all joy.
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One-liner
The days you are most uncomfortable are the days you learn the most about yourself.
- Mary L. Bean
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Announcement
The Nesivos Shalom Conference Call
SUNDAY Mornings from 9AM to 9:30AM EST
Reb Noach Schwartz, LCSW will give a shiur in Nesivos Shalom specially geared to GYE members, followed by insights, sharing and Q&A.
*Kindly call in for an enjoyable, educational, and chasidishe schmooze!*
Call in number:
From U.S: (605) 562-3131
Israel: (076) 599-0060
(From other countries, see this page)
PIN# 952533 (for all countries)
For Reb Noach's therapy page here. For Reb Noach's website here.
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 Selfless Spirituality
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Category: 12-Step Attitude
Gratitude
I always have two lists: things I'm happy about and things I'm not. It's my choice which list I focus on.
--Anne Arthur
Why do we all too eagerly see the glass as half-empty rather than as half- full?
It need not be a habit that we are stuck with forever. All of us feel helpless at times to change our vision of life. Discouragement and self-pity become comfortable, and we fear that discarding them will leave us vulnerable.
Seeing the glass as half empty is a sign that our attitude is holding us back.
Unfortunately, a bad attitude is seductive. It's as though we find pleasure, perverse though it may be, in feeling sorry for ourselves. Sometimes we even imagine staying in that place forever.
It's then that we need the warmth of loving friends, and it's no accident that we are surrounded by them in this fellowship. We may, at first, try to ignore those reaching toward us, but we will soon feel their presence.
We can thank God for the inspiration to adjust our attitude.
If I reach out lovingly to someone else today, I will not need a nudge from my Higher Power to adjust my attitude.
Care to comment?
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Help Us Help Others!
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Please help support our work so we can continue to help acheinu b'nei Yisrael!
Secure On-line Donations here
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To donate by phone, call (24 hours): 718-878-3075
Checks can be made out to: "GYE Corp." and mailed to:
GYE Corp.
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Donations are tax deductible.
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