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GuardYourEyes Chizuk E-Mail (No. 1182)
Getting stronger every day!
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Rabbi Feuerman's Friday Phone Conference
Parshas Vayeiro - "Honey, do I look fat in this dress?"
Lying for the sake of sholom
8:30 AM NY Time
3:30 PM Israel Time
The call-in number is: U.S: 209 255 1000 Israel: 076 599 0060 Participant PIN: 637207# For archive of previous Shiurim see here.
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Category: Torah Thought
The Three Tactics of the Yetzer Hara
as shown in this week's Parsha during Akeidas Yitzchak (Medrash Tanchuma) By MZ 1) the Satan comes to Avraham dressed as an old man- symbolizing wisdom, experience and logic- as a way of dissuading Avraham from doing the Akeida. ~~ The Satan will first attack us with real logical and legitimate reasons why we MUST do this aveira, and why it isn't really so bad... 2) the Satan then went to Yitzchak making him question the ways of his father, even hinting what Avraham is about to do to him. Part of Avrahams test was then being faced with a son who questions his ways. ~~ Likewise with us, in the form of outside pressures. The fight becomes an external one where we are forced to act just to fit in with other people, not because its what we believe to be the right thing. The satan will come through other people if he can't come to us directly. 3) The Satan then disguised himself as a physical blockage-in this case a pool of water Avraham was unable to cross. ~~ this happens when the Satan cant reason with us, and can't get people to convince us, he'll put physical things in our way to stop us achieving. This is the point when we feel like the only choice is to give up. BUT KNOW - When Avraham was IN that water, that's the very moment he cried out to Hashem - just as it seemed like he had exhausted all his inner capabilities. We have that part of Avraham in us to defeat the Satan. May Hashem help us every step of the way.
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Category: Member Chizuk
By POR One strategy that's been helping me lately: When I find myself having undesirable thoughts, I picture myself standing before Beis Din shel Ma'aleh, and the thoughts I'm having are being presented on a giant screen, and everyone (myself included) feeling and showing intense disgust. Then I tell myself that if I stop these thoughts, there'll be a different scene and everyone will applaud me and express deep and strong approval for me. Looking at it this way makes it easier to get and keep my thoughts under control.
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Announcement
The Nesivos Shalom Conference Call
SUNDAY Mornings from 9AM to 9:30AM EST
Reb Noach Schwartz, LCSW will give a shiur in Nesivos Shalom specially geared to GYE members, followed by insights, sharing and Q&A.
*Kindly call in for an enjoyable, educational, and chasidishe schmooze!*
Call in number:
From U.S: (605) 562-3131
Israel: (076) 599-0060
(From other countries, see this page)
PIN# 952533 (for all countries)
For Reb Noach's therapy page here. For Reb Noach's website here.
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Category: 12-Step Attitude
To 12-step or Not to 12-step?
They say that people who don't go to meetings don't hear about what happens to people who don't go to meetings. So we thought we'd bring you what seems to be a pretty accurate description.
By Walker, sober in SA since May 6, 2012
I browse a few non-SA s*x addiction forums for people trying to recover in non-12 step ways. Having read hundreds of stories of these people, I'm reminded of what a massive amount of work it takes not to recover.
First, there is coming up with lots of plans on how to motivate one's self, which can take months.
This is followed by how to channel that motivation into actually doing something. Often this results in buying a large self-help book and filling out endless exercises inside.
After that fails, one joins an internet venue and confesses everything. One then requests advice, ignoring the counsel of people who have made it, and carefully following the advice of people who haven't. Wild goose chase after sobriety begins.
The more ambitious start posting journals where they write daily about the day's stresses, thoughts, the effect their parents had on their addiction, and how they really do see some improvement in their lives despite occasionally wanting to kill themselves.
Then the motivation fuel runs out or some relationship starts, and one quietly leaves recovery.
Months later, one returns, fired up from having one's keister kicked by Lust and telling everyone that this is truly the commitment that will end all commitments.
Thereafter follow months and, sometimes, years of the "spin cycle": recommit, fail, fail, recommit. All of this is done under the tremendous mill-stone of daily self-hatred for one's weakness of not being able to "just do it" and quit.
A priest associated with early AA, seeing how vast and complicated was the path to sobriety in non-AA ways, and how simple and immediate was the AA way, said, "Blessed are the lazy, for they shall find their shortcuts."
I think there's a misconception that 12 step groups take a lot of work. It takes way more work not to go to meetings, not to get a sponsor, not to make calls, and not to take steps, than it is to do all these. It saves so much time and energy to just do it the way the SA old-timers say to do it.
Thanks for letting me share.
Care to comment?
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One-liner
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.
- Plato
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Category: Torah Attitude
Shake It Off; Step It Up!
There was once a man who devoted all his time and energy into rearing his donkey. One day, while walking across a muddy field, his prized donkey fell into a deep pit. The owner tried over and over to pull the donkey out; but he was fighting a losing battle as there was no way the donkey was going to make it. He resorted to making the difficult decision of burying the donkey alive, rather than have it suffer immeasurable pain.
His eyes blurred as tears ran down his face. It was the most painful ordeal he'd experienced, yet he knew that this was best for the donkey. He went back and forth, shoveling in mud. For a minute he paused to rest his head on the shovel, stops crying, looks around, and was shocked at what greeted him...
Every mound of dirt that was hurled into the pit fell straight onto the donkey. It hurt. But the donkey reacted by simply shaking it off. The rocks that fell by his feet where then used to step it up, elevating him to a higher point than before.This happened multiple times; he shakes it off and steps it up. After a while the donkey was able to make the final step out onto green pastures a place he never thought he'd reach.
The donkey tells the story of each one of our lives. Sometimes we might feel like dirt, rocks, and sharp pebbles are being thrown at us. At first, it also may seem that the only way to escape the pain is to give in; to just let the dirt slowly bury us alive... The battle seems too mighty for an individual alone. But heed the donkey's lesson; don't fight the rocks, just surrender, and shake the pebbles off, deal with each clump as it comes, one day at a time. If we do that, then we will witness the greatest miracle occur. The very pebbles that seemed they were going to bury us alive became our stepping stones to salvation! As the Pasuk says, אבן מאסו הבונים הייתה לראש פינה - the stone that was despised by the builders became the cornerstone. Who would have imagined? מאת ה' הייתה זאת היא נפלאות בעינינו - it was from Hashem, it is wondrous in our eyes!
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