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GuardYourEyes Chizuk E-Mail (No. 1181)  

Getting stronger every day!
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In Today's Issue  

  • 12-Step Attitude: Made a Decision...
  • Recommended Reading: Torah and the Twelve Steps
  • Q&A: Will Hashem Really Help Just Because I Trust Him?

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Category: 12-Step Attitude

 

 Made a Decision... 

 

By Cap'n Steve from the GYE 12-Step Conferences 


I just wanted to share an insight Hashem blessed me with today, after 5 years in Recovery, into how and why the 12 Step program works.
 
In describing the RID cycle of craving (AA Big Book page xxix) to a newbie after the call, I made the following simple points, which I will repeat tomorrow to the group:
 
1) This is the vicious cycle of my life as an addict. As long as my desire to change stays a resolution, I am doomed to failure and will repeat the cycle over and over again.
 
2) When I learn to beak the cycle by turning the resolutions into DECISIONS, then I can get out of that cycle, succeed in recovery, and learn to live again.
 
3) That decision is STEP 3 - "Made a Decision..."
 
Note that RESOLUTIONS are expectations of change based on MY power, MY willpower, which is WHY they do not proceed to real success.
 
DECISIONS are actions based on turning to HASHEM'S Power, surrendering my desires constantly and honestly to Him, which can guarantee the progression of recovery and more and more success.
 
It is amazing to me that I have been reading and teaching this book all these years, and did not see clearly why decisions work and resolutions fail until now!!
 
Baruch Hanosein Daas!
 
Have an AWESOME day!!

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Category: Recommended Reading


 Does Hashem Approve of the 12 Steps of AA?

 

This is a short book which reviews the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and provids extensive theoretical background for each one of the steps.

In the beginning of the book you will find a letter from Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski, offering his blessings to the work.

May we see all the Jewish people receiving access to the treatment that they need to thrive and grow in good spiritual and physical health.

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One-liner


Most of our problems are because we act without thinking or we keep thinking without acting.

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Healthy Sexuality & Intimacy Workshop

Allan Katz, LPC, & Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (http://coachkatz.com) will be delivering a week long intensive workshop on Nov. 14-21 in Nashville, TN.  

If you're struggling with sex addiction, it may be you need to address the underlying issues which cause it like trauma, abuse, neglect or abandonment. This is a scientifically proven program which has helped thousands begin recovery while working on past issues which still may haunt them. 

There is a kosher microwave and the kitchen staff is well versed in kosher law.  Kosher Food will be provided by Mr. Katz upon request.  

Go to this website for more information and to register: http://www.onsiteworkshops.com/healthy-sexuality-intimacy-men/

Or contact Allan at [email protected]
You can also call Allan at 901-359-8299

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Category: Q & A

  

Will Hashem really help just because I trust in Him?

 

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

 

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."

 

-Steps 2 & 3 of Alcoholics Anonymous

 

Question: I have a hard time doing steps 2 & 3 because of this fear- Who says that by simply trusting in Hashem that he will help me stay sober, perhaps he has other plans for me?

 

Answer: The Pasuk says הבוטח בה' חסד יסובבנו. And Chazal say אפילו לרשעים. The Shlah Hakadosh (I think) explains that the reason this is true is because when a person puts His trust in Hashem, it is not for the honor of Hashem to let the person down, even if he is not worthy. Since the person is trusting so much in the King, how can the King just ignore him? It would look "as if" the King can't help! 

 

It is important to understand, that no matter what result we get from our teffilah, there is no such thing as a bad outcome EVER. Hashem only does good, never bad. The problem is, that we often don't have the proper keilim to get the good in a way that is "pleasant". When a silversmith refines the silver in fire, is it "bad"? It's obviously not bad. It's just that the silver needs to undergo the refinement process to reach its potential. 

 

So what does it mean to trust in Hashem to help us? Perhaps it means that the more we put our trust in Hashem and depend on Him to help us through whatever issues we are struggling with, the more our keilim are refined, by definition, and therefore we need LESS of the "unpleasant" refinement process. 

 

The Baal Hasulam writes that Hashem always gives good, and therefore He always answers any true teffila, since teffila creates the Kli (a vessel), and Hashem is a tov umeitiv and automatically fills the kli. So the question is, why do we see many people daven strongly for things and don't get them? So he explains that in gashmius matters, Hashem knows what is truly best for us. So he sometimes answers our teffilos by NOT agreeing to what we want. However, in Ruchniyus, he will ALWAYS answer any true teffilah that comes from deep in the person's heart. Because once there is a true kli, the light of Hashem automatically flows into it. 

 

The same is true with step 2 and 3. When a person NEEDS Hashem desperately to help him - to save him from the DEATH of the addiction, he has a proper kli and automatically Hashem WILL help him, since this is a spiritual matter. (However, it is important to note that as long as the person doesn't feel that the addiction is real "death" to them - in other words, as long as they haven't done a proper STEP 1, then their "kli" is not shalem, and Hashem may indeed not help them yet. That is why Step 1 is so important and must come before step 2 and 3).

 

See this article by Rabbi Avi Tenenbaum CAC, MA CASAC grad.  for more on this question, regarding the power of Emunah and Trust in Hashem (with many sources from the holy sefarim).

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Important Links

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