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Category: 12-Step Attitude
Turn Lust into a Friend, not Foe
By Duvid Chaim
HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED...
why G-d has "wired us" as Sexaholics??
When are we finally going to realize the absolute futility of fighting lust? Isn't it time that I finally wake up and realize what a foolish endeavor this is?! After all, putting energy into fighting lust is a direct contradiction to what the 12 Step Program is teaching me in Step Number One - "We admitted we were powerless over lust and our lives have become unmanageable". How can we possible fight or conquer something that we are powerless over?!
Instead, the best and most sensible alternative is to use this revealing information to TRY A NEW WAY - Why not turn lust into a friend, not a foe?
We do that by embracing lust, by acknowledging that lust is a G-d given tool that must be for GOOD. (Don't worry, I know what you're thinking...that Duvid Chaim has gone off his rockers!) How could anyone say that lust is a good thing?!
Well, perhaps it's time to ask ourselves:
- Why do I lust?
- What's behind the lust?
- What would G-d want me to understand thru lust?
In the 10th Step of the Program - on page 84 of the Big Book, we learn that in the "Plan of Action for the Man in Recovery", we do not watch for lust triggers, like women on the street or pop up images on our computers. No! The Plan of Action says, "We continue to watch for Selfishness, Dishonesty, Resentment and Fear..."
And by doing so, we learn to make lust into a friend - because if I'm lusting, then it's obvious that I'm using my Drug of Choice! And if I'm using my Drug of Choice, it means that I'm in pain. And if I'm in pain, then there must be some underlying issue bothering my ego like RID.
And now we can finally thank G-d for lust! Because now that I know about my underlying pain, there is something that I can do about it: I can follow the Plan of Action. Then, I DON'T NEED MY DRUG OF CHOICE. I am free. And I am in recovery!
This process is just like the man who sprains his ankle. And everytime he steps down on his foot too hard, it hurts like heck. So we ask, is the pain a bad thing or a good thing. And we conclude that pain is good! Why? Because without it, I would probably do a great deal of damage to my ankle!
So... next time you lust, don't get upset or try to run away. Embrace the lust and dig deeper to find the reason why you're in pain. And when you deal with the ego-induced pain, you become a MENTCH. You become more G-dly. And you become free and in recovery!
B'chatzlach Rabah!!
