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Category: 12-Step Attitude
You Don't Have to Slip
5 Attitude changing tips from an AA oldtimer - Part 1
Copyright � The AA Grapevine, Inc. (September,1955).
Reprinted from INTERGROUPER Newsletter
The newcomer hasn't been in our group very long but he has heard a good deal about slips and has begun to worry about himself. Someone should inform him emphatically and authoritatively,
"You don't have to slip!"
There are a few members, not newcomers but men and women who have been around six
months or two years, who periodically - every few months or every few weeks - go off on a binge. Nothing serious, understand, but they evidently are not getting the program, and certainly are not getting the benefits of continuous sobriety. These lapsing members are worried and perhaps a little ashamed. Someone should take them aside and shout politely, "You don't have to slip!"
One of our persuasive bits of evidence that slips are unnecessary is the simple fact that thousands of members have two, six, ten, and more years of uninterrupted sobriety. Some of them are not very smart - maybe not as smart as the slippers - but they are sober. While it is easy to say that slips are unnecessary, how do you avoid them?
After observing hundreds of AA members over a period of nine years, I have the feeling that continuous sobriety is, in part at least, a matter of attitudes and that those attitudes can be cultivated by the member who really wants to stop drinking. The member who does not want to stop drinking should go elsewhere for advice. What are those attitudes? They may vary with the individual but the following pattern should fit a good many cases.
ATTITUDE I: Sobriety Must Come First - For Me.
The member who tries to make AA a second or third-class hobby usually has trouble. We have a number one problem and we have to treat it as such. Sobriety cannot defer to jobs, family, friends, neighbors, pain, embarrassment, anonymity - or to anything else! If we do not have sobriety we ultimately will not have any of the things we hold dear. While the high-bottom drinker may not have lost much of anything - yet - some day he may lose everything if he continues to drink. If he gets sober and stays sober then everything else usually falls into place and the more he has of other things the more he can enjoy them.
Hence, the member who really wants to stay sober should place sobriety as his first objective and then rearrange his life accordingly.
Slips often occur when a member does not feel well. He is nervous, jittery, about to explode. A second situation that prompts a drink is one of expected personal embarrassment, The alcoholic is out with friends or business associates and he cannot say "No." The next two attitudes relate to these frequently encountered situations.
ATTITUDE II: I Will Suffer
This Pain. It Will Pass. Even If I Die Now I Will Be Sober. The nervous situation is the basis of many slips. The alcoholic begins to shake mentally and sometimes physically. He gets so excited he nearly loses his reason. He feels as though he might go right through the ceiling.
Physical pain may also be in the picture. Relief from physical pain seems to be an excuse to drink - not a sufficient excuse of course - but it serves the alcoholic who wants a reason. This kind of nervous or painful condition is familiar to most alcoholics. Some who have been dry many years have put up with it from time to time. They recognize the situation, however, and know that the feeling will pass. Newer members may not be so sure, but they should resolve not to drink even if they are going to die on the spot. Not many alcoholics actually die in this manner, but when you are willing to die for your sobriety you will probably stay sober.
ATTITUDE III: I Will Suffer Any Embarrassment For My Sobriety.
Fear of what friends or associates will think or say has led many alcoholics to take a drink. They fear the pink ears and the burning cheeks. They conjure up in their minds all the accumulated ridicule of their colleagues. This type of situation is a great mental hazard for many new members and others not so new. They can survive these situations if they will cultivate the following line of thought:
"I've suffered terrible embarrassment in the past because of my drinking. If I drink again I will suffer still greater embarrassment in the future. So why not suffer a little embarrassment for sobriety? I will refuse that drink even if a dozen people point to me with scorn. Even if I fall down in confession and disgrace, I will not drink!"
Actually, the frightful embarrassment with which the alcoholic wrestles practically never
occurs - but the alcoholic must be prepared for it. If he resolves to die of embarrassment rather than to take a drink he will most certainly stay sober.
To be continued...