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GuardYourEyes Chizuk E-Mail (No. 1154)  

Getting stronger every day!
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Rabbi Feuerman's Friday Phone Conference

Parshas Re'eh - Blessing in Disguise   


 8:30 AM NY Time

3:30 PM Israel Time

The call-in number is:
U.S: 209 255 1000              Israel: 076 599 0060
Participant PIN: 637207#

For archive of previous Shiurim see here.


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In Today's Issue

  • 12-Step Attitude: 5 Tips for Slip Prevention - Part 1
  • Testimonial: This Girl Was Given Another Chance at Life
  • Quote of the Day: Reasons for Service

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Category: 12-Step Attitude

 

You Don't Have to Slip

 

5 Attitude changing tips from an AA oldtimer - Part 1

 

Copyright � The AA Grapevine, Inc. (September,1955).

Reprinted from INTERGROUPER Newsletter 

 

The newcomer hasn't been in our group very long but he has heard a good deal about slips and has begun to worry about himself. Someone should inform him emphatically and authoritatively, 

"You don't have to slip!"

There are a few members, not newcomers but men and women who have been around six
months or two years, who periodically - every few months or every few weeks - go off on a binge. Nothing serious, understand, but they evidently are not getting the program, and certainly are not getting the benefits of continuous sobriety. These lapsing members are worried and perhaps a little ashamed. Someone should take them aside and shout politely, "You don't have to slip!"

One of our persuasive bits of evidence that slips are unnecessary is the simple fact that thousands of members have two, six, ten, and more years of uninterrupted sobriety. Some of them are not very smart - maybe not as smart as the slippers - but they are sober. While it is easy to say that slips are unnecessary, how do you avoid them? 

After observing hundreds of AA members over a period of nine years, I have the feeling that continuous sobriety is, in part at least, a matter of attitudes and that those attitudes can be cultivated by the member who really wants to stop drinking. The member who does not want to stop drinking should go elsewhere for advice. What are those attitudes? They may vary with the individual but the following pattern should fit a good many cases. 

ATTITUDE I: Sobriety Must Come First - For Me. 

The member who tries to make AA a second or third-class hobby usually has trouble. We have a number one problem and we have to treat it as such. Sobriety cannot defer to jobs, family, friends, neighbors, pain, embarrassment, anonymity - or to anything else! If we do not have sobriety we ultimately will not have any of the things we hold dear. While the high-bottom drinker may not have lost much of anything - yet - some day he may lose everything if he continues to drink. If he gets sober and stays sober then everything else usually falls into place and the more he has of other things the more he can enjoy them. 

Hence, the member who really wants to stay sober should place sobriety as his first objective and then rearrange his life accordingly. 

Slips often occur when a member does not feel well. He is nervous, jittery, about to explode. A second situation that prompts a drink is one of expected personal embarrassment, The alcoholic is out with friends or business associates and he cannot say "No." The next two attitudes relate to these frequently encountered situations.

ATTITUDE II: I Will Suffer

This Pain. It Will Pass. Even If I Die Now I Will Be Sober. The nervous situation is the basis of many slips. The alcoholic begins to shake mentally and sometimes physically. He gets so excited he nearly loses his reason. He feels as though he might go right through the ceiling. 

Physical pain may also be in the picture. Relief from physical pain seems to be an excuse to drink - not a sufficient excuse of course - but it serves the alcoholic who wants a reason. This kind of nervous or painful condition is familiar to most alcoholics. Some who have been dry many years have put up with it from time to time. They recognize the situation, however, and know that the feeling will pass. Newer members may not be so sure, but they should resolve not to drink even if they are going to die on the spot. Not many alcoholics actually die in this manner, but when you are willing to die for your sobriety you will probably stay sober. 

ATTITUDE III: I Will Suffer Any Embarrassment For My Sobriety. 

Fear of what friends or associates will think or say has led many alcoholics to take a drink. They fear the pink ears and the burning cheeks. They conjure up in their minds all the accumulated ridicule of their colleagues. This type of situation is a great mental hazard for many new members and others not so new. They can survive these situations if they will cultivate the following line of thought:
"I've suffered terrible embarrassment in the past because of my drinking. If I drink again I will suffer still greater embarrassment in the future. So why not suffer a little embarrassment for sobriety? I will refuse that drink even if a dozen people point to me with scorn. Even if I fall down in confession and disgrace, I will not drink!"

Actually, the frightful embarrassment with which the alcoholic wrestles practically never
occurs - but the alcoholic must be prepared for it. If he resolves to die of embarrassment rather than to take a drink he will most certainly stay sober.

To be continued...
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Announcement

 

The Nesivos Shalom Conference Call

 

SUNDAY Mornings from 9AM to 9:30AM EST 

 

Reb Noach Schwartz, LCSW will give a shiur in Nesivos Shalom specially geared to GYE members, followed by insights, sharing and Q&A.

 

Kindly call in for an enjoyable, educational, and chasidishe schmooze!

 

Call in number:

From U.S: (605) 562-3131

Israel: (076) 599-0060

(From other countries, see this page)

 

PIN# 952533 (for all countries)

 

For Reb Noach's therapy page  here.

For Reb Noach's website  here. 

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Category: Testimonial

 

This Girl Was Given Another Chance at Life

 

By M.

 

I'm filled with gratitude as I write this testimonial,  because without Guard Your Eyes- there would be nothing to fill these lines with, just an empty space- because that was the direction my life was heading.


 
Two years ago Hashem somehow directed me to this website; little did I know what an impact it would have on my life... 

 

When I first logged on I thought there was NO hope, having engaged in addictive/destructive behaviours for the majority of my life- why should this time be different? At the time I was at such a low point- I had been 'found out' by my parents...the police had even gotten involved - that is the extent to which I would chase pleasure at all costs. 

 

All of a sudden there were people on GYE who CARED. They  FELT the same feelings as me, they UNDERSTOOD and were willing to TALK. 

 

On the women's side of the forum each person has their own special story. I've learnt so much from each and every one of them. Getting in touch, opening up, asking my questions - all that gave me space to explore myself and what I was doing to my life. Along with the chizuk emails, the 90 day goal and one female member of GYE in particular, I felt like I had been given another chance at life.

 

This September I will be attending seminary in Israel. If you'd asked me 2 years ago if this would have been possible.... Never. Ever. GYE made this dream a reality. Ive made so many friends- real friends- with people on the forum- helping each other along the way. In no way am I 'fixed'. I've still got a LONG way to go. But that path no longer seems so daunting knowing that I've got a whole website cheering me on! 

 

Thank you Guard Your Eyes for SAVING MY LIFE.

 

Submit your testimonial. 

We are looking for testimony from recovering women, in particular (but not exclusively). This disease knows no gender bias, and we'd like to carry the message of hope to women of all ages who still suffer. Please share your story with us.

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Category: Quote of the Day

 

Reasons for Service

 

By Dr. Bob

 

I spend a great deal of time passing on what I learned to others who want and need it badly. I do it for four reasons:
 

1. Sense of duty.
2. It is a pleasure.
3. Because in doing so I am paying my debt to the man who took time to pass it on to me.
4. Because every time I do it I take a little more insurance for myself against a possible slip. 

 

Alcoholics Anonymous pgs. 180 & 181

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One-liner

 

 

Don't try to be different. Just be good. To be good is different enough.

 

                                               - Arthur Freed, American lyricist

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suggestions NEW FEATURE!

 

HAVE A SUGGESTION? COMMENT? QUESTION? DROP IT IN OUR

 
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To donate by phone, call (24 hours): 718-878-3075 


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Quick Links 

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Our Websites 

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Guardyoureyes.com - Helping thousands break free

GYE Prevention - Shmiras einayim & resources for parents & educators

Venishmartem.com - Find the best filters for any device!

VCFprotection.com - Non-profit filter made for the Jewish community

Filterthon.com - Community events to get filters installed for free

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Help spread the word. Print these 3 flyers!

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Important Links

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The GuardYourEyes Handbook - Breaking Free of Lust Addiction, Step by Step.

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