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Category: Attitude
GOING TO ANY LENGTH (WILLINGNESS)
YidVRE writes in response to someone:
Dear Fellow Jew,
You have an allergy to porn. If you had a peanut allergy, and you knew that if you ate another peanut you would die, would you eat another peanut?
What's worse, this is a progressive illness. Over any period of time, it gets worse, never better. Once the images are no longer exciting enough, porn addicts go on to more dangerous, thrill-seeking activities like participating with live people instead of simply looking. If you don't stop now, you're headed for hell on earth. Marriage will not solve this. So many people report that they thought it would, but the disease still progressed, even after getting married.
If you're asking for advice, then THROW AWAY THE IPOD or give it to someone else. I know it is hard. I knew a fellow who looked at X-rated movies for over 30 years. The day he stopped he called me on the phone crying like a baby. He told me the people on the screen were his "friends" and he couldn't leave them. IS THAT CRAZY OR WHAT? But he was still in his addiction and couldn't think straight. If you want Hashem to help you - and only HE can - you must become a pure vessel which can accept HIS help. If you're stuck in the mud, HE won't pull you out alone; you have to make the effort, too. Throwing the Ipod out NOW is the effort, then your mind will clear up, you'll get back to your learning, and Hashem will help you.
Some of us claim: "I'm so frum; I can't go to meetings in a church..." I know frum people who have been going to meetings in churches for over 10 years. They are still frum. Rabbi Abraham Twersky, M.D. says that if you need to go to live meetings, you should attend even in a church. Think about it: it's OK to be seen going into a strip club or XXX video store or masturbating at your computer, but when you want to get better you can't go into a church? The meetings will literally save your life. It's also your "addict" speaking when he tells you, "you're too frum to go into a meeting". The meetings are not in the sanctuary of the church, they're usually in a classroom.
Twice a year there is a convention of frum Jews and their wives. They all have this problem. Most of them go to SA meetings. They said the same thing you did. "I could never show my face in such a place." Now some of them have 3-4-10-20 years of sobriety from this disease because of meetings and because they have someone who understands to talk to. It's that simple. Hashem put you in this situation because this is your nisoyon (test) to overcome. HE never gives us a challenge we cannot overcome. But the more you look at porn, the further away from G-d you get, and the further away from YOURSELF you get. Take responsibility for your own actions - the time is NOW.
