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GuardYourEyes Chizuk E-Mail (No. 1119)
Getting stronger every day!
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Announcement:

 

For those who have tried everything and are at the "end of their rope"

THIS IS FOR YOU!

 

The next cycle of Dov's 12-Step call (the Desperadoes) will iy"H begin Wed March 13th (in Daylight Savings time).

 

Please contact Dov at [email protected] to sign up.

 

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END OF THE ROPE

 

The "end of the rope" for the Jews turned into the "end of the rope" for Haman (quite literally!) through the Teffilos and Teshuvah of Taanis Esther.

 

Here's an inspiring e-mail from Duvid Chaim that can surely bring strength and hope to other men that are facing "End of their Rope" struggles.

 

Chevra:

 

I have a personal struggle I appreciate you're letting me share with you.

 

You may have heard that I make a Parnassah (livelihood) as an entrepreneur - by helping people/companies buy or sell things.  You could say I'm a salesman or a deal maker.  Either way, if a deal doesn't happen - "bread" doesn't happen.

 

Hashem has been exceedingly kind to me over the years.  And I have enjoyed a lot of material comforts along the way.  In fact, I've been entirely self sufficient for over 3 decades!!

 

My father, of blessed memory taught me that when I make money, I should set some aside "for a rainy day" - which I did.

 

For reasons - only G-d knows, when it comes to my financial situation over the past few years, it's been "raining" for a long long time now!

 

I was so happy that my father encouraged me to save money and consider myself quite fortunate that I've had the savings to withstand these tough times (which I know is shared by many in our community).

 

But guess what - - as of this month - the savings have dried up, and yet the draught is still here.  With no apparent end in sight.

 

Quite frankly, this has been the BIGGEST TEST in my life for quite a long time.  And when I transferred - this past week - the last drop of savings to pay for my bills, I had that terrible...sinking.....feeling.......that I'm at the END OF MY ROPE!!  

 

Yes, literally at the end of my rope!!  Who could I turn to??

 

In the past, when things got tight and the savings were low, I could turn to my parents for a quick loan.  But they aren't alive anymore.  Or I could turn to the Bank for a line of credit, but I don't have anymore collateral.  And the Credit Cards, well - they're all at their limits!

 

My "addicts mind" told me to get a "quick fix" and forget all my troubles.  I didn't want to go there.

 

I also thought about sitting on my Pitty Pot or going into the Blame Game or "I'm the Victim" Role.  But they already gave out the Academy Awards this year.  

 

So that's when it hit me!  

 

Inside my head, I heard a small voice trying to get my attention that said, "Duvid Chaim, since you know you're at the End of your Rope - then JUST LET GO!"

 

I got startled and answered back - "What do you mean?  Just let go of my Rope.  AND THEN WHAT, I cried..."

 

This time, the Voice got louder and calmly said, "LET GO AND LET GOD!!"

 

And I thought and I then remembered all the times before - when I thought I had lots of Rope.  And how I used to hold on tight to my Rope.  And that no one could take my Rope away from me.

 

And I also remembered how I used to take my Rope.  And what did I used to do with my Rope?  As an addict, I remember how I used to take my Rope and HANG MYSELF with it!!

 

For some of us, that Rope may be money.  For some of us, that Rope may be good looks.  For some of us, it's intelligence and others it may be social status.

 

But whatever the Rope is, if I don't realize that it's a GIFT from HASHEM, then I think it's ALL MINE.  And the more Rope I have, the more I GRAB TIGHT onto it!  And the MORE SELF-SUFFICIENT I think I am!

 

Thanks to the 12 Step Program of Recovery -- the Action Steps that I take ("It works if you work it and you're worth it) -- the Fellowship that I join -- and the effort I put into seeing Ay Od Milvado, I can now actually face a serious struggle like I've share AND I can...

 

...LET GO OF THE ROPE and truly LET GO AND LET GOD!

 

Thanks for letting me share!

 

Looking forward

 

 

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Am I a Lustaholic?

 

One struggler writes to another:

 

You said yesterday that you can't accept the fact that you are (or you are labeled) a lustaholic addict.

 

I can identify with you fear of this stigma, I understand you so well. I (and many more on GYE) have been in the same bout and are still there. I will never forgot the moment I have realized that IM A SEX ADDICT; ME? A SEX ADDICT? NO WAY! I'm not in that category at all. maybe I can use some help, I have to learn more and try harder, I even accepted the fact that I need some professional help, , I thought to myself, but AN ADDICT? NO. It stroke me like a 20 pound hammer in my head, I couldn't accept it. But after some rational Analysis, after reading lot about it on GYE articles and forums I couldn't fool myself anymore and I have soon realized that this has to be the final diagnose. And after accepting it, it was much easier to deal with it.

 

Today I know that to be a lustaholic is nothing wrong, yea exactly, nothing wrong with it. if hashed gave me granted me these specific traits or put me in that particular circumstances which caused me to developed this addiction, that's its will. And of course my job is to deal with it and take the proper treatment, which I'm trying my best to do it. And by that I'm fulfilling my duty in this world.

 

Today I'm even proud to be a lust addict, believe me or not, that's what I feel.

 

I feel that God gave me the opportunity to fulfill his will in such a way that even previous generation didn't have such an opportunity; there was never before that lust addict problem because the frequency of improper material or objects or humans was never so wide spread as today. Therefore I don't believe it was possible to develop lust addiction easily (The same as you wouldn't find alcoholics in fanatical Arab countries where alcohol is prohibited for the same reasons since Alcohol is hard to find there).

 

I feel like we are the Elite commando units, the Navy seals of God . And God would not recruit to his Commandos less than the best boys.

 
 
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4lashon
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