Avraham Avinu's Filter

By kivi

As Avraham Avinu approached Mitzrayim the Torah writes he noticed Sarah's beauty. Until now, Rashi says, he never noticed her beauty, but as a result of an incident (Avraham saw her reflection in the water, as Medrash writes) he saw her. Was this because Sarah was a Tzanua? Rashi says it's not. Rather, it's because of the Tznius of BOTH OF THEM.   

עד עכשיו לא הכיר בה מתוך צניעות שבשניהם" 

(רש''י, בראשית יב :יא)

How many times did I tell myself if only women would dress more Tznius I wouldn't be drawn to look at them? If only I had the right filter on my computer, I wouldn't have a problem. Well, Sarah was absolutely Tzanuah, according to all standards, but that wasn't enough for Avraham to respect that Tznius. Avraham himself had to be Tzanuah too. A filter on Sarah was not enough; Avraham needed a filter on Avraham too.  He knew that one cannot rely on everything around him changing and protecting him. Protection meant protecting himself from within.

Avraham's filter was on Avraham, in his mind and heart. As the recovery literature says, we need a "Psychic Change." That filter on the mind is a constant connection with HKB"H. He's the only reliable filter, and that filter is installed within us.

I've used every filter on my computer, and hoped for every filter on my surroundings. I've broken through them all. If I want to lust, there's nothing that can stop me. The only answer is to decide to be a Tzanuah myself, to install a filters on my  hearts and mind, and that only HKB"H can do for me. May He give us all that gift soon!

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We Need to Use Force

By Jack (3 years clean on GYE) 

Dear chashuva fellow strugglers,

You might ask, if the Jews said naaseh v'nishma, why did the Creator find it necessary to force them to accept the torah by hanging a mountain over their heads?

The answer is that the Creator of all things knew that even though the people WANTED to accept the Torah, there was something standing in the way - the Yetzer Hara. Using force takes away the Yetzer Hara and allows the true ratzon of the people to be expressed. Like the husband who wont give the wife a get, we beat him until he says he accepts. Why is this? The famous Rambam says that he really wants to give the get, but the Yetzer Hara is standing in the way. The beating removes the Yetzer Hara and allows his true ratzon to emerge, which is to do the will of Hashem.     

It is the same by us. We all want to do what Hashem wants, but the strong magnet of the addiction is in the way. So we have to resort to extreme measures to make sure that the power of the addiction does not get in the way of our ratzon. Like filters, accountability software, personal knasos, vows, or anything that you can think of, that will, if only in a small way, weaken the power of the Yetzer Hara.