Parenting requires organization systems and communication skills - family calendars, dinner conversations, and homework rules provide structure for kids and reduce stress on parents. If parents divorce, new structures need to be put in place to keep everyone on the same page. Communication becomes even more important although circumstances can make it more difficult. I've invited Theresa Beran Kulat, Esq. to share some helpful organizational suggestions for parents whether they are divorced or still married.
If you need help putting a co-parenting agreement in place, contact Theresa. If you need help creating order and structure in place for your family, please contact me - I'd be glad to help.
Wishing you simplicity, harmony, freedom,
Sue Becker, CPO-CD�, ADD Specialist
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"What do we live for; if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?"
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Organization for Effective Co-Parenting
Continue to have (or start) regular family meetings. At least once a year, get everyone in the same room to talk. Decide as a group which extra-curricular activities each child will pursue. Parents can work out driving arrangements and other logistics. Depending on the ages of the children, include them in working out the details. An older child can ride his bike to soccer practice. Another can save babysitting money to pay for a trip to camp. I personally find family meetings most helpful in late summer to prepare for school and in the early spring plan for summer. Camps, summer school, jobs for kids present a different routine than during the school year.
Maintain a Master Calendar. Find a place in the family "hub" and put up a giant calendar on the wall. Use different color markers for each person to provide a visual reminder of what is coming up. Two-home families need to be more creative. In addition to a physical calendar, you can set up a shared online calendar to connect the two homes. Outlook, Google, and Yahoo have free options. Parents can update the calendar with pick-up and drop-off times, kids' practices, games, concerts, parent-teacher conferences and school holidays. Make sure kids know how to access the information and, when appropriate, allow them to enter events and activities. In addition to these free options, several companies offer online calendar sharing for a fee. Check out OurFamilyWizard.com, JointParents.com and ParentingTime.com
Reconcile shared expenses regularly. When parents divorce, they usually share certain expenses after child support is paid, e.g., out-of-pocket medical expenses and extra-curricular expenses. One parent generally pays the fee and the other reimburses. In addition, some things are just shared - school pictures, for example. It's easier to order one package and split the pictures than to have each parent buy their own photo package. Several of the online calendar companies include a module for entering expenses paid on behalf of the children. Or you can use an Excel spreadsheet. Make sure you update the spreadsheet promptly (you might forget the $20 you contributed to the teacher class gift) and "close out" every month or two. In my home, if we let thing go beyond 3 months, the numbers get unruly. Pick a date, figure out who owes what to whom, cut a check, and start all over.
Raising children brings much joy and satisfaction. Managing their time and finances can be stressful without organizational structure in place. Once you work out the kinks, these three tools will enhance your parenting experience.
Guest columnistTheresa Beran Kulat is the founder of Trinity Family Law, P.C., a law firm dedicated to helping people resolve their differences in a non-adversarial manner.
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