The Winged Lion Review 
 A Journal of the St. Mark's Community


   August, 2016   
In This Issue
St. Mark's Witness for Justice and Mercy
Crustacean Celebration

SPECIAL EDITION
[Co-Editors' Note: This Special Edition of the Winged Lion Review offers coverage of two dramatically different recent events in the life of our community--one happy and fun, the other almost unbearably sad. We regret the jarring juxtaposition, but hope that readers will understand that each story needs to be told before the next regularly scheduled edition in September.]
St. Mark's Witness for Justice and Mercy
by Hank Donnelly 


Nearly two dozen St. Mark's members traveled to Culpeper, Va., in late July to offer silent witness for justice and mercy on behalf of Andrew (Alisa) Ernest, grandchild of the late Paul Bugge and step-grandchild of Lynda Smith-Bugge.

The 24-year-old, who identifies as transgender and uses the name Alisa, was convicted last year of an online-related offense involving a police officer pretending to be a 13-year-old girl. Although state guidelines call for those convicted of such offenses to serve about five years, the jury that convicted her recommended a 23-year sentence.

The St. Mark's contingent attended a proceeding at Culpeper County Courthouse in which Judge Susan L. Whitlock was scheduled to issue a final sentence for Alisa, who is being held at the county jail.

Meeting with parishioners and other supporters before the court opened, attorney Joe Flood offered praise for their presence as a sign of strong community support for Alisa that could make a difference in the judge's decision. "If this doesn't affect the outcome, I don't know what will," he said.

The proceeding was held in a classically designed, high-ceiled courtroom adorned with portraits of Culpeper County legal luminaries. Ceiling fans gave the space an old-fashioned aura reminiscent of "To Kill a Mockingbird," although powerful air conditioning left spectators thoroughly chilled by the end of the proceeding. Physically slight and wearing glasses, Alisa appeared in the courtroom in manacles and a traditional gray-striped prison suit.

The two-and-a-half hour proceeding was devoted almost entirely to testimony by Dr. Sara Boyd, a forensic psychologist who, like Mr. Flood, has worked on Alisa's behalf at a reduced fee. Her testimony was based on interviews and a review of thousands of pages of records from Alisa's extensive medical history.

Although the formal goal of Dr. Boyd's report to the court was to evaluate the likelihood of the prisoner re-offending after release, the emotional core was her recounting of Alisa's traumatic childhood, in which she experienced severe sexual and other forms of abuse along with heartbreaking emotional abandonment. While not in a position to offer a diagnosis of either woman, the doctor suggested that both Alisa's mother and maternal grandmother may have suffered from major personality disorders and/or mental illness.

The result was that Alisa grew up with a number of serious mental problems, as well as a desperate need for the kind of interpersonal connections she had been denied as a child. Combined with extreme immaturity and lack of insight into others, this left Alisa vulnerable to a series of bad decisions, culminating in her catastrophic journey to Culpeper for a rendezvous with someone who turned out to be an arresting officer.
Dr. Boyd made clear, however, that despite her ailments, Alisa was not a sexual predator, and that her probability of re-offending, based on an actuarial analysis of thousands of cases, was less than 8 percent. A separate report prepared for the court provided a similar assessment of Alisa's condition and future risk to the community.

In his final remarks, Mr. Flood referred both to Alisa's troubled history and to what he described as inadequate representation in the original trial by her court-appointed attorney. Noting that Alisa had already confessed to police, he suggested that the original attorney should not have allowed her to plead not guilty and go before a jury, but rather arranged a plea agreement that undoubtedly would have resulted in a shorter sentence. The commonwealth's attorney, by contrast, focused on the jury's sentence as reflecting the values of the community.

Judge Whitlock declined to make an immediate decision, however, instead ordering a transcript of the defendant's initial arraignment last year, in which Alisa pleaded not guilty. The judge scheduled another proceeding for Sept. 6.

After the ruling, Mr. Flood acknowledged that he was stunned by the outcome and uncertain about its ultimate implications. He also expressed deep discouragement about the fact that, regardless of the judge's decision, Alisa was unlikely to receive from the Virginia penal system the intensive therapy recommended by Dr. Boyd.

Despite the day's events, St. Mark's members vowed to continue their witness for mercy for this tragically ill-treated young person, and justice in accord with modern legal norms.

(For more information on how to help, contact Chris Berendes at berendes@netalyst.com.)
Crustacean Celebration
Jack Burton Named Crab of the Year at Hard-Shells' Annual Feast
by Peter Sherer and Doris Burton


Welcome potential converts to crabbiness!
 

The College of Crustaceans welcomes you to its annual Fourth of July Crab Feast. This festive gathering is never held on the date of its title. There are several reasons for this: First, we take crabby delight in the confusion generated by the change of date. Second, a lot of normal people are out of town on vacation or at the beach. Who needs normal people? Third, the corn is just knee-high by the Fourth of July, and is only now at its peak.

Some of you may not know the history of institutionalized crabbiness at St. Mark's. Here, begrudgingly offered, is a brief summary. The Crab Feast is a curmudgeonly annual celebration devoted to mercilessly publicizing individuals' and organizations' idiosyncrasies, foibles, whimsies, personal conceits and humiliating mistakes. The Crab Feast is hosted by the College of Crustaceans, which is composed of those deplorable people who have in the past distinguished themselves by acts of crabbiness, insensitivity, clumsiness, or egregiously inappropriate behavior.

Before the Feast, the College convenes in secret session to review suggestions for honoring people for distinguished crabbiness. The nominations are later shared with diners at the Crab Feast, and one nominee is chosen to serve as the new reigning Crab of the Year.

There have been complaints that the process just outlined is somewhat casual and lacking in organization Yep! We love complaints, especially if they're delivered with unapologetic crabbiness.

Actually, there are a few rules:

First, some have mistakenly expected the reading of the nominations be like a "roast" of each of the nominees. No way! In most public roasts, the roastee is granted an opportunity to reply in his/her defense. Being crabby, the College would never be so considerate. Besides, we don't really roast anything: We steam crabs and boil corn.

Second, all nominations are offered by (and hopefully to) people with a sense of humor, and they are put forward in the spirit of fun.

Third, no amount of striving, competing, begging or pleading to be nominated for or elected to the College will succeed. Go prove yourself worthy by doing something really crabby!

We pause, at this point, to reflect upon the passing this week of Crane Miller, Dean of the College of Crustaceans, as indicated by the black ribbons that bind our claws today. Crane has been our most gifted Voice of the Crab for three decades. His spot-on, insightful crab narratives demonstrated a delightful writing skill, which complemented his crabby observations with infectious humor. Crane originally earned the title "Crab of the Year" in 1985 with his proposal to change the Annual Meeting from the Friday after Easter to the Friday before Lent, and was accused of discouraging older members from coming to the meeting, lest they slip and fall on snow and ice.

Crane became Imperial Crab by fiat: He just took over and no one dared oppose him (or, at least, there was no record of any attempted coup). For his years of leadership in the College of Crustaceans, his caring about the concept of constructive crabbiness and his conviction that we can benefit by playfully laughing at ourselves and laughing with our friends, we today bestow upon him, our warm and gentle friend, a newly created honorific title. e He HeWe raise our claws, in a moment of silence, and salute Crane Miller, Crab Imperial.

Speech by the Reigning Crab of the Year, Senior Warden Peter Sherer

Welcome to all crabby people. As the 2016 Crab of the Year, it is my responsibility to comment on the general state of crabbiness shown by the congregation as a whole during the past year. While the College has identified at least a dozen examples of individual crabbiness, I am going to address the general crabby mood of the parish.

So there is no time to waste to demonstrate your group crabiness. If you are enjoying your food and you have not yet complained to a neighbor that the corn has not been cooked properly, then you have sadly misunderstood your role on this auspicious day. Today we honor those among us who are bold enough to declare themselves right regardless of the facts on the ground.

Thank God that the College of Crustaceans has taken the opportunity to point out one or more individual shortcomings that have merited our attention.

At the onset, it must be acknowledged that 2016 was set up to be a banner year in crabdom. It was a year of transition, when the only rule was to remain anxious and to be resistant to any suggestion of improvement in community operations.

But nooooo, did you take the opportunity to eviscerate those unwise enough to step into leadership roles? I would say decidedly not. The College was confounded by the general attitude of cooperation and good cheer.

Shame on all of you. Let me cite just a few obvious examples of the colossal missed opportunity for congregational crabbiness.

First and foremost, you misunderstood you role in relation to Michele as our Interim Rector. Your only duty was to criticize her passionate and well-delivered sermons, her heroic attempts to improve our administrative systems, her steadfast attention to the infirm among us, her hiring of superb new staff and her generally witty and uplifting presence.

But did she limp out of here crestfallen, consumed by professional self-doubt and considering a move back to Minneapolis, where her omnipresent references to the Twins would be better understood?

Nooooo. Not only did she weather the interim storm, she decided that she wanted to stay on with us on a more permanent basis.

What were you thinking, people?

And speaking of new staff, where were all you crabby parents when we needed you most to make Caroline McReynolds-Adams feel incompetent and unappreciated? By the end of this year she was supposed to be beloved by the kids and so criticized by parents that law school started to look attractive. So is she in tears?

Noooo. She just took her second group of kids on a trip where they had big fun and made lifelong friends, and naturally the College of Crustaceans is appalled. We can't undermine all the church leadership on our own. We count on your continuing crabbiness, and so far Caroline seems to be vertical and enjoying her assignment. We are shocked-shocked, I tell you.

And how about the canvass? The transition was the perfect time to lower your pledge while you waited to criticize the choice of a new potential Rector. Where were the hostile stares when Mike Townsend and Nora Howell organized a superb face-to-face canvass? Where was the passive aggression on which the College of Crustaceans had so fervently counted? Nowhere to be seen, I am afraid to say. In fact, your average pledge increased to the highest in history. What don't you understand about the opportunity to maximize organizational depression during a transition?

And speaking of your annoying commitment to doing the right thing, where was the outrage at leaving Shrine Mont for Claggett? Where were the articles in the Winged Lion Review about valuing tradition even if was not working? To make matters worse, 55 of you put down a deposit a year in advance so we could reserve the space, 146 of you decided to attend, and Crab Jo Ellen Hayden completely lost her crabby marbles and offered to pay for the bus so that people who didn't or couldn't drive could join in the fun. And even worse, when you got to Claggett you forgot to trash the planning team, you studied our membership situation thoughtfully, insisted on having fun, and said on the evaluation form that you loved the facilities and wanted to return every year. Clearly you missed the whole crabby point of joining together with other church members to create an unforgettably difficult ending to our church year.

Speaking of missed opportunities, how about the chance to so beat up on people taking leadership positions that people shrink from volunteering at all? How in the world did you encourage seven spectacular women to run for the Vestry this year? If you're not careful, you will have people volunteering to do a whole host of things that will make life far less crabby this year. Remember that you have been warned.

Fortunately, the picture is not all bleak from the College of Crustaceans perspective. We did manage to identify more than a dozen people who merited nominations for 2017 Crab of the Year.

Remember how you are supposed to listen to these nominations. First. it is important to compare each nomination unfavorably to the much more witty nominations made in previous years. Second, and this is very important, it is essential for you to turn to your neighbor to declare how disappointed you have been with this whole proceeding. Or otherwise what is the point? If you can't be completely crabby today, how will you position yourself to make next year just a little less harmonious by your personal complaints and general lack of cooperation? Remember that crabiness is after all the community glue that the College of Crustaceans depends on to make our continuing work essential.

Nominations for Crab of the Year
  • We cannot forget the memorable Sunday when we arrived to find two walls of Baxter Hall covered with photographs and accompanying text about St. Mark's least-known and mostly forgotten Rector, Rev. Robert J. Plumb. This questionable "out of sight, out of mind" display was the brain-child of just one person. We therefore nominate Kenn Allen for the coveted "Rector Whooooo??" award.
  • We note among us one radical revisionist historian who, during her mindful reading of the Declaration of Independence, took it upon herself to change the pronouns to be gender-inclusive. The nomination for the "Radical Feminist She-Crab" award goes to Raiford Gaffney.
  • The philosopher Diogenes searched for an honest man using a lantern in broad daylight. While not a cynical philosopher, one of our parishioners labored mightily, seeking to cast light on murky and dark parish financial records accumulated throughout the past. For her frustrating but determined effort, the nomination for the "Let Your Little Light Shine" award goes to Linda Ewald.
  • One among us has often been mentioned for her notable and vast collection of shoes, based on observation of the large number of shoeboxes offered for Michele's Lenten shoebox dioramas on immigration and refugees. We nominate Justi Schunior for the "Imelda Marcos" award.
  • For his continued tinkering with the physical structure of our church, including unceasing after-hours repairs, adjustments and replacements, the nomination for our "Tinker Bell" award goes to Jack Burton.
  • We could not help but notice one staff member who, upon moving into her predecessor's office, managed to utterly destroy years and years of outdated and redundant triple-copies of financial documents. Therefore, Financial Manager Patricia Schans has earned our "Scrappy Shredder" award.
  • Here at St. Mark's, there is one person best known to some as a "Historian House Mouse," with a stellar reputation for factual factoids embracing every small but meaningful facet of our church history. We are proud to award our "Too Good a Memory for Knowing Waaaay Too Much About Us!" award to Mary Cooper.
  • The College of Crustaceans does not often lavish repeat nominations on one person. However, one lady who holds the honorary COTY award for 2013 clearly deserves yet another nomination. For being an unrivaled glamour puss and fashion maven, she has set the bar too high, making the rest of us look simply outclassed. The nomination for our "Silver Years, Oak Leaf Cluster" award goes to Jan Hoffman.
  • We would be remiss not to recognize the invigorating efforts of our PIC--Priest in Charge. As you may recall, the fifth labor of Hercules was to clean out the Augean Stables, a task neglected for 30 years. For being a "new broom that sweeps clean" old ways, and breathing new life into our community, as well as suddenly announcing our beloved Church in the Round is now the Church at the Octagon, as well as for changing Maundy Thursday from the way we had been doing it for a zillion years, and altering (no pun intended) Holy Week too, we nominate Michele Morgan for our "Terri Gross Fresh Air" award.
  • One highly talented member of the staff has an earned reputation for sending well over 150 emails to the Junior Warden pointing out issues with the church structure and physical plant. While Jeff Kempskie never demanded the problems be addressed, he has earned our nomination for the "Crabby-to-begin-with Junior Warden Wannabe" award.
  • Our latest staff member has made herself highly valuable with the work done on organizing our rental process while planning her own nuptials. However, while doing all this amazing work, she's also about to leave us. So, for her swift arrival and too-soon departure, we offer Diana Church our "Last in, First Out of the Crab Pot" award.
  • Health Alert! It seems that many parishioners at the 5 p.m. service who first attended with one child now have two. And many, who first attended sans child, are now are blessed with one. Babies and toddlers now threaten to outnumber the adults! St. Mark's has never been big on quoting "proof texts" but if the 5-o'clockers ever feel the need, we offer Genesis 1.28: "...and God said unto them 'Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth.'" We appreciate these efforts to grow the congregation, but it presents a problem for the College: It is hard to be crabby around a bunch of adorable kids! So we say, "Keep up the Good Work", and nominate the 5 o'clock service attendees the "What's in the Wine?" award.
  • Among her other, numerous accomplishments, a Fabric Committee member offered a novel proposal for the repair of the damaged terrazzo in the nave. Concerned about the replacement not being a perfect match, she suggested we pull up all the terrazzo, grind it up, re-mix, then pour "all-new" terrazzo, to ensure it would all match! We nominate Nora Howell for our "Leave No Stone Unturned" award.
  • Another member stands out for the stunningly colorful ribbons she arrayed throughout the Nave for Easter, so much so that it proved a distraction to the service! It was a masterful feat of ribbon organization that earns 5-o'clocker Lisa Ramish our nomination for the "So Talented, She Makes All of us Look Bad" award.
  • One staff member recently spearheaded a mission trip to New York City for our teens. Each of the young people then wrote and mailed thank you notes to parishioners who had bought "stock certificates" to fund the trip. For this amazing and unique accomplishment, we proudly nominate Caroline McReynolds-Adams for our "Brought Em' Back Alive" award.
  • You have probably noticed this person moving about the church, often in seemingly endless ways, being here, there, and everywhere. Resourceful, imaginative, determined, talented, creative, steadfast, and on most occasions, useful, best known for a "My way or the Crab way" attitude, compounded by ceaseless, unending conversations with complex explanations with anyone who will listen. This is a gifted individual who excels in resolving problems dealing with short-circuited circuits, flaking paint, balky gates and doorways, often employing Rube Goldberg solutions that work amazingly well. It is much to our surprise that this person's contributions have been so long overlooked, yet all the while so greatly appreciated.
He twice chaired the Outreach Board and two parishwide canvasses, initiated the Racial Reconciliation Committee, was a comfort team member for Shrine Mont, and a Co-Chair for the St. Mark's Transition Team, prior to, during and following Vision2020, as well as overseeing the repair to the falling tower when Junior Warden. We therefore proudly announce our Crab of the Year, our Jack-of-all-Trades Manciple, Jack Burton!
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