This week we had our meeting with the incoming 6th graders and their parents to talk about middle school elective choices, scheduling, etc. What we really didn't get a chance to talk about is how scary the transition to middle school can be for both parents and students - even if it means just entering a new hallway!  How many of you would voluntarily return to middle school? Probably not that many. It's that time when your adolescent child is trying to find out how to be independent, while still being being very dependent on you.

But in reality, adolescence begins as early as 4th grade - aka, "tweenagers!" What's happening with hormones, emotions, and mood swings? How can you respond when your child goes from that adoring, loving, little person to someone who is temperamental and demanding?

Here are a few pointers from someone who actually had four teenagers at the same time (and survived), and lots of experience working with young adolescents.  

1. Keep things in perspective. When your child overreacts to a situation, it's not about you, but generally about their frustration over their inability to handle what's happening to them. During adolescence, tweenagers are trying to gain control over their lives and can become completely frustrated when they realize they don't have the tools to figure something out. Once they have calmed down (because there is no use having a discussion when their emotions are heightened), help them think through what happened right before they became upset, articulate their response to the situation, and ways to handle it differently in the future.
2. Resist rescuing your child.  I know it's hard - we want our kids to be happy, but that's not reality. If your child is experiencing difficulties, whether socially or academically, help them work out a plan of action that they can undertake on their own. When you do that, you are sending a message to your child that you believe in their ability to handle things, and that when things get tough, they have what it takes to figure things out. When we try to solve our kids' problems for them, it can send the message that we don't think they are capable of doing it on their own. We undermine their confidence and create learned helplessness. 
3. Be their parent. Your child needs you to be the parent, not a friend. I promise you that if your child has not yet told you her or she hates you, it will probably happen at some time or the other because it is a natural response when we don't get what we want. You are the adult and you have the life experiences to know what is best - your child does not. Hold firm - it will definitely pay off in the long run!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Warmly,

Robin Lowe,

Executive Principal

Flagstaff Academy

Dear Flagstaff Families,

What an exciting month January has been! We are so fortunate for the opportunity to work with your students each week, and know that they are growing - physically, academically, and socially, under the care of our great educators and faculty!

As January comes to an end, our administration and teachers have been also looking ahead to the 2016-2017 school year.  We know you have a choice in where your students go to school, and we continue to make improvements to make Flagstaff the best PK-8 school in the state!  

At this time of year, we know families are considering whether their children will continue at Flagstaff. This natural question is most evident for our 5th grade families.  This time and decision can be stressful for families- students included. For those still deciding on their middle school selection, I must say that I don't believe there is a better choice than Flagstaff's middle school. One of the best things about our middle school is the ability of our staff to get to know each and every one of our middle school students. I love that our faculty greet each student by name in the middle school hallway as they arrive each morning, and say goodbye as students leave each day. The collaboration and academic programming of our middle school is superior. I've loved to see the engineering happening in GTT this week via paper airplanes, as 8th graders help 6th graders (and vice versa!) design the best one. And watching students dig deeply into novels that I remember reading as a teenager. Our students work hard and play hard.  I love that no matter the weather, kids are outside at recess, playing basketball and tag, and are busy just being kids.

I encourage you to take a moment to reflect as we close the first month of 2016. I am personally grateful for our Flagstaff family and look forward to the wonderful opportunities that surround us each and every day.  

I welcome your questions or feedback about our programs at any time.  

Sincerely,

Acting Middle School Assistant Principal
kgustafson@flagstaffacademy.org