How often are you frustrated, anxious and impatient while waiting for the bus or stuck in traffic, or waiting for the doctor who is already a half hour late.

Next time try this mantra "Happily waiting."

Mantras are powerful sounds, words or phrases that carry meaning. Their purpose is to change your mind. The Happily Waiting mantra cuts through impatience and puts you in touch with a natural sense of ease and well-being. It is a reminder that you can be happy anytime, anywhere, no matter what you are doing, simply by remembering that you have a choice.

You can choose to change your normal reactions. You can choose to accept what is happening and wait happily.

Waiting

Say you are waiting for a bus and it is late in coming. Your reaction, whether it is frustration or anxiety, fuels your impatience. A perceived need to be somewhere at a particular time and by the perceived impact of being late, typically drives your reaction. Even when there is no specific appointment, there may be a self-generated compelling need to get where you are going without delay.

Your need manifests as hard to accept bodily feelings. You pace, you fume, you mutter to yourself, maybe commiserating with someone waiting with you. Your mind goes off into the incompetence of the bus drivers and schedulers and into the consequences of being late. All of this to avoid your feelings.

None of your pacing, muttering and compulsive thinking will affect the arrival of your bus. You are just letting off steam. Letting off steam is not necessarily a bad thing, it beats internalizing your frustration, but it is a waste of time and energy. Letting off steam can also get you into trouble. For example, you can yell at the wrong person at the wrong time and get into a fight or you might break something.

What's the alternative? 

The choices are to do what you habitually do (pace, mutter, etc.), or to wait happily for the bus (or the traffic to move or the receptionist to call your name, or whatever).

What does it mean to happily wait?

It means to find the place within you that is naturally happy and content. It doesn't mean you are happy with the situation. You don't have to like being subject to a late bus or in a traffic jam. It means that you accept the situation for what it is, including the hard to accept feelings. With that acceptance comes an opportunity to experience a sense of contentment, calm wellbeing, a peace of mind. That is what it means to be unconditionally happy.

Consider the possibility that you can relax in the face of an unpleasant situation and use the time for a special spontaneous meditation. Your mantra takes you to a place where there is a perpetual inner smile; a haven of peace and contentment. You can imagine it and, perhaps, after a while experience it fully as a natural part of you that doesn't need to be imagined. Unconditional happiness can be stabilized.

How do you do it?

The first step is to recognize the telltale symptoms of impatience. They are physical sensations that may include a tightening of the chest or abdomen or queasiness. The symptoms might include a torrent of thoughts about the consequences of being late or the wish to get back at the idiot who caused you to be late.

Acknowledging and accepting your situation and feelings, take a couple of deep breaths and smile to yourself, "Ah, there I go again, becoming impatient." If it's appropriate call the person who might be waiting for you to let them know you might be late. Then, step back and, with a subtle inner smile, silently chant the mantra.

"Happily waiting. Happily waiting. Happily waiting. ..."

As thoughts come up to interrupt the mantra, note them and bring your attention back to "Happily waiting". At first it might feel contrived, but keep at it. If you begin to have doubts about the technique, ask yourself whether you would be better off fuming and letting off steam or doing something to bring yourself in touch with a peaceful sense of contentment.

Relax and continue reciting the mantra until the bus comes or the traffic starts to move.

That's all there is to it. See what happens when you proactively change your mind and the way you react.

� 2015 George Pitagorsky                                                 Top