The title of your book is Not My Will: Finding Peace with Things You Can't Change. That's kind of an odd title for a Christian book, isn't it? Aren't all things changeable?

Many of us tend to think that all things are changeable. You might say we are eternal optimists, but if we are honest, some of us do come up against things we can't change but wish we could. We wrestle against these things. In the book I describe it as feeling like we're in the grip of a vise, and it's squeezing the life out of us.

My breast cancer sisters and I know we can't change having breast cancer. What are some other things that can't be changed?

Here are some I mention in Not My Will.

            Accidents. Without warning, you suddenly experience a serious auto accident, a natural disaster, or a violent act of crime. After the fact, these events cannot be changed.

            Terminal illness. Some people might want to argue with this designation as something unchangeable. After all, "Miracles are always possible," but for many the miracles will not come, and their lives will be completely altered by the diagnosis.

            Job termination. A person fired from his job may be able to change his future, but he can't change his past. He may long to push the replay button on life's recorder, but the tape of life cannot be rewound.

            God's will. The kind of life God wants us to live (His standards for holiness) will not change. If we want to please God, we will live His way and not our way.

            Personal limitations. At times, we wish we can change something about ourselves such as our intellect or our genes or a handicap. Some things are changeable, but there's a limit to what we may be able to change about ourselves.

            Aging. Face-lifts, hair-dying, and weight-watching may camouflage the aging process. Exercise, nutrition, and hormone-replacement may slow it down, but aging is inevitable. We will all get old.

            Death. The best nutrition and exercise program available may add two to seven years to life, but it will not change the fact of Hebrews 9:27: "And as it is appointed unto men once to die."

Have you dealt with things you can't change? Is the material you present in your book authentic or theoretical?

Several of the above "unchangeables" I've had to deal with. It was in being in an unchangeable situation and not knowing how to pray about it that connected me with Jesus and His unchangeable.

Jesus had an unchangeable? That's hard to believe. Couldn't Jesus change anything?

Jesus was on his way to the cross. His destiny was to be the suffering Messiah. No amount of praying would change that. His dying on the cross was a voluntary act; but, in another sense, it wasn't. If he wanted to be the obedient Son, there was only one way before him. His destiny was an unchangeable certainty.

Jesus said, "He that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life" (John 8:12b). When we walk with Him, He will light up our path, show us how to cope, and restore our hope. He'll help us make peace with what we can't change.