If you have a story of forgetting how faithful God has been to you in the past (and don't we all have them) and/or a story of ways that help you remember God's faithfulness, please contact me for guidelines.

I'll Be Training Ministry Leaders and Teams on Mentoring and Team Building

• The 1st annual Southwest Idaho Christian Women's Leadership Training Conference. 

 Sept 6-7 2013, Gar City / Boise, ID     

• Two more YOU Lead conferences this year  

• How about getting churches together in your area and bring Janet in for a training!

Please contact me for more information about training opportunities. 

What inspired you to write this book?

It seems everyone I meet knows someone suffering with memory disease. It is a journey that I have taken four times with my husband, Stan, as we have cared for all four of our parents as they suffered from either dementia or Alzheimer's.

While my husband and I were caring for his parents, friends and people that knew that I am an author would ask me when I was going to write a book on Alzheimer's. My answer was always the same, "It's too close right now. It would be too painful."

However, in June 2011, God used a seven week old, wiggly beagle to change my mind. I was spending the nights on the kitchen nook sofa, not because I was mad at my husband, but because Emma, our new puppy, needed to go outside every three hours. One night after an outing at two a.m., I lay on the couch unable to sleep. I prayed about the support group for family members that I led at my mother's memory care residence. I asked for wisdom on how to help other family members dealing with frustration. Despite Emma's snoring, the thought came clear and direct, coaxing me to write a book about my experiences with dementia and Alzheimer's.

With iPad in hand, I worked until eight-thirty in the morning. Then printed out a proposal - full outline, title, and cover idea for an introductory booklet to help families with memory disease. I walked the mile to my mother's residence, and presented it to the executive director. His enthusiasm encouraged me to pursue the project. After a few more weeks of sleepless nights with Emma, the first draft of A Gradual Disappearance was finished.

What advice would you like to share with families dealing with memory disease?

If possible, organize this final chapter in your loved ones life as a team effort, then the journey becomes more enjoyable. Delegating responsibilities and visiting times amongst family members and friends can take the stress off the lead team member.

Try and stay objective. Denial will only complicate things. Face the facts and deal with them realistically.

Be cautious about the "promise" to care for memory patients in their home. With memory patients, that can be difficult due to the nature of the disease. Many times the Alzheimer's patients are working against their caregivers and not with them. I encourage families to seek professional advice and help. Often family members feel that placing their loved one in a reputable facility is abandoning them. But it is the opposite. It frees family from the daily physical care and they can enjoy spending time with their parent or loved one again.

Take breaks and join a support group. Decisions made under stress are not always good decisions. Taking a respite allows the family member to return in a more objective frame of mind - able to see the big picture and to make good choices. Each time I am away from Mom for business, I find that when I return I am able to evaluate Mom's situation and address the problems with renewed energy. Care giving or overseeing care giving is mentally draining. Some family caregivers tend to hibernate, or stop activities they enjoy. The patient would not want their loved one sacrificing their life if they were well enough to make that decision.

The years of dealing with memory disease have taught me that I need to be patient, more respectful, and to slow down and enjoy the moment. I try and record the funny one-liners Mom comes up with, or when she says "thank you", or that she loves me. I strive to be thankful for the interaction I still have with her, instead of bemoaning what I have lost. There are special moments we have shared together these past few years, like pushing her wheelchair to a nearby park to see the ocean, playing her favorite music, going to parties and events together at her facility, doing puzzles, and having a devotional time together almost everyday.

What encouragement would you like to give to families?

The good news is that by learning as much as one can about the disease, getting help from others, and some careful planning this journey is survivable. Properly approached it can even be an enjoyable privilege.

As with any challenge in life, the best support comes from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and His Word. Pray! Ask the Lord to lead you through this difficult journey. He will answer, and with His direction, you can create wonderful memories with your loved one in their last days.