How do we handle grief, change, growth, love?

When I got a call from a distraught Gio that she just found her dog, Chiquita lying dead behind the dining table, after a Saturday Farmers' Market, last month, I could hear what she was saying but the acceptance of the situation in my mind was as broken up as her voice.  By the time I drove over, Chiquita's body was gone.  Gio's friend Heather had put Chiquita in her freezer upstairs in the main house to be buried the next day, next to all the other dogs Heather's family had buried over the years.

Gio's new dog, Daisy, just over one year old who used to jump, jump, run and tumble in frisky play, was somber as she came by me and I picked her up to hold her as I cried.  Chiquita was the first dog I learned to love over the years, having been afraid of dogs since being bitten years ago.  Chiquita was a beautiful Chihuahua with a crystal applique on each ear, a necklace, clothes, painted toenails; she was Gio's Princess. 

Daisy was amazingly calm, and turned to me to lick my tears in acknowledgement of my grief.  Daisy had grown up in a few hours.  Gio said she saw Daisy trying to wake Chiquita up with her two front paws as she yelped in disbelief.

It was just two weeks since our friend Clarisse had lost her beautiful dog to Cancer.  Clarisse found a show dog breeder who had two dogs too small for show.  Clarisse chose one, and I recommended that Gio take the other which she named Daisy. Within a week from Chiquita's death, Gio's neighbor heard of a 4 week-old Chihuahua pup, that I recommended Gio get to keep Daisy company.  While they're more than a handful, it has brought such happiness to that new family unit.  Daisy was so lonely without Chiquita, but now is like a protective older sister to the rough and tumble puppy, Blanca.

Daisy and Blanca

This has been a year of so much grief and death.  When Pete died, he touched a huge community of friends and Ohana.  Just getting ready for the celebration of Pete's life, had helped me process his death immensely. Robin, directed me to write a Program (which she edited and put together) for Pete's Celebration of Life which I kept tweaking over and over to "fit" into 12 pages (6 two-sided folded 8 ½ by 11 inch) with 33 mostly color photos.  Ed Greevy, an extraordinary "movement" photographer gave me a treasure trove of black and white photos of us from Ethnic Studies to the Waiahole-Waikane anti-eviction struggles, and I eventually found 3 shoeboxes of colored slides he had taken.  Liko Martin and Leilani sang at Pete's bedside and at the scattering of ashes.  Their music brought back a plethora of memories of our life together.

It took our son Travis much longer to process his grief.  I encouraged him to write like I did.  As we shared bereavement counseling, I realized that he, Shanna and I were what was left of our family unit.  It turned my attention from buying a vacation rental on Poipu to purchasing an eventual home for them, and as it turns out, for us, as I am having an Additional Dwelling Unit (called an ADU according to David Ige) built on the property which is large enough to eventually have a Fruit, Flower & Herb Garden out back.  Just the process of looking for a home together, and planning what type of and where to put the fencing, trees, air conditioners, etc. has occupied my/our time together and brought us closer.

At first it was difficult to face what was left of Greens & Vines without my hubby.  It was just not the same.  It took so many workers to continue the Farmers' Markets, I realized I had to reallocate the workforce to shore up the three "legs" of Greens & Vines; the Restaurant, the Farmers' Markets, and the Meal Plans, by changing the restaurant to a limited service one, though not that limited as our servers-turned-cashiers continue to serve the food, wine, bus, and take pictures of the customers.  Though there are kinks to iron out especially when there are concerts at the Blaisdell and we get slammed, we are on the right path.

Our winning the Hale Aina gold award was bittersweet.  Though he wasn't there to enjoy the achievement with me, in my heart I felt lifted by "the wind" Pete left, "beneath my wings".  He's still watching over me, over us. 

I've learned from Daisy, to grow and move on in life and make every day count to do what I do, with love.  (Seems like she still remembers me as the sad aunty, and is calm when I pick her up.)  So if and when it's my time to go, I'll have left a legacy; the Greens & Vines food.  Just as the recipes keep morphing, so will my business plans.  The Meal Plans and Grab n Go for the Farmers' Markets will be re-sized and added-to.  Eventually Meal Plans will be delivered to Yoga Studios hopefully with your help in your neighborhood, by getting a referral to me of a studio owner.  I will be adding more and new dishes to our Restaurant and the Meal Plan menus as well.

My Uncooking Classes have doubled in size since I rearranged the kitchen.  It's been a lot of fun teaching, with hungry students wanting to eat as soon as each dish is made especially the first ones.  By having these classes, it forces me to re-size the recipes from bulk to cookbook size, helping me to get closer to the "recipe book" I've promised for years.  Be glad it's taken so long since the recipes are way better than before.  One day, my next chapter will be to take my book global with demos, and perhaps consulting to build raw vegan gourmet restaurants, as I get a taste of what the world has to offer.

- - - - - - - -

Syl's Uncooking Class

Call and Reserve with Credit Card only.

(Limited Space! Past students have already signed up).

"Thanksgiving" Class

Sunday, November 22nd, 12-3 pm
 

Caulflower Thyme Mash "Potatoes"

Miso-Shallot Gravy

Crimini Mushroom Stuffing

Porcini Mushroom Gravy

Waldorf Salad

Seasoning for "Not Turkey" Recipe only.

(We made Not Tuna last month, so I'll share the "turkey" seasoning and Not Tuna Recipe only.)

$65 for the class | call 536-9680 to reserve your seat

- - - - - - - -

Thanksgiving Meals To-Go

available for pickup on November 25

Cauli-Thyme Mash w/Miso Shallot Gravy

Crimini Mushroom Stuffing

with Porcini Mushroom Gravy

Waldorf Salad

Not Turkey on Lettuce

Kabocha Pumpkin Pie (piece)

$65 each | call 536-9680 to reserve

- - - - - - - -

 

Holidays Off & 3-Meal Plans only & Thanksgiving Meals

for Pick-up between 12 noon to 6pm

November 25, Restaurant Open till 2pm

Re-Opens November 30th

December 23, Restaurant Open till 2pm

Re-Opens December 28th

December 30, Restaurant Open till 2pm

Re-Opens January 2nd

 

- - - - - - - -

Restaurant Week

November 16 to November 21

Caesar Salad, Garlic Zucchini Dressing, Sunflower Seed Croutons, Balsamic Reduction, and Nori

Living Lasagna

"Cheez Cake"

$25 per person | with Wine pairings, $14 addt'l

(November 18th Private Party indoors, we may only have outdoor seating, but call the day prior to.)

- - - - - - - -