I have had a really remarkable experience with chemotherapy, radiation, and two surgeries. To the glory of God, most everything they warned me about didn't happen. Some of it was pretty frightening to hear: excruciating pain, hospitalization from the treatment, nausea, vomiting, my body no longer functioning properly, death, etc., etc. I have thrown up once, but that was from eating Chinese food and drinking an herbal supplement in the middle of a treatment (there was also a hamburger and donuts along with it. Oh yeah, and two fried eggs and sausage).
Well, today I've noticed hair everywhere. It's common to lose your hair or for it to thin during chemo. It hasn't happened in the previous treatments, but today it's a little more pronounced. I'm wondering if I'm about to be clean shaven or if it's just "thinning".
At first I was a little startled. I said, "Lord, I have believed for no side effects this entire process. So what's up with this hair thing??"
He replied, "You know the Scripture. Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows." (Matthew 10:29-31)
I said, "Yes. They aren't sparrows, but the hairs are falling!"
And the Lord said, "And not one can fall apart from Me."
Sheesh. I got it. It was clear. Maybe
the hair is a spiritual issue. I mean, for various reasons, I've never worn my hair as long as I wish I could. "A pastor has to look the part you know." Still, I like my hair, even though it grows in weird places now and there's not as much as there used to be. Maybe it's the 1970's stuck inside me.
And then there's my mustache. It's like a little friend. I have had it uninterrupted since September 1973, my first days of college when there was no longer the dress code of high school. Maybe I have been hiding behind it. I'm all for authenticity and no vanity. (Except when it comes to my beard and mustache. I would say "haha" but it isn't funny when you think about it.)
So this is how I am viewing this. If my hair falls out so be it. I am not my hair, or my body, or anything else other than what the Lord says I am. I don't believe we should live by what people think of us. Maybe that truth is being tested in me. How we look to God is what is important.
So Friday night and or Sunday, I may look differently. I may not. But one thing is for sure, I
am different. I'm thankful to the Lord for His lessons and His mercy and grace.
P.S. And then there's the benefits...* I don't have to go get haircuts.
* No more washing, drying and styling.
* Don't have to worry about how my hair looks.
* It won't be growing where it shouldn't have been in the first place.
* the Medicine must be working.
I'm just saying.
