|On Sunday February 10, friends of USY gathered for a day of training to stand up against bullying. In partnership with Coach Randy Nathan of Project NextGen and the Museum of Tolerance NY, we learned how to identify bullying and most importantly, how to be an "upstander" and put an end to bully behavior. This newsletter will provide a summary of the program as well as provide information for how you may bring this information to your chapter without the Museum around the corner!
This may take more than two minutes to read, but please take the time to review the information so that bullying can indeed "end with us."
Part I- Becoming an Upstander
To view the Tools for Tolerance Powerpoint, click here.
1. Coach Randy led us in an opening exercise on cliques and diversity among people, explaining that bullying can stem from a lack of empathy or understanding of others who are different from ourselves.
2. We introduced Jewish texts that may guide our behavior to prevent bullying by treating others with respect and dignity. Please refer to the second slide in the Tools for Tolerance Powerpoint for examples.
3. Two USYers courageously told their own personal stories on experiencing bullying and what they chose to do about it. Thank you to Val Weisler and Alexa Weinberg for sharing with us and making a difference with their anti bullying advocacy. "Like" The Validation Project and Proud-2-b-me on Facebook! These young people turned their negative experiences as targets and turned it into advocacy work to inspire others. Kol Hakavod!
4. Please view the Powerpoint to better understand the second part of Coach Randy's presentation. Coach Randy taught us how to transition from bystander to upstander. The "take-aways" are outlined briefly below. You can use this to reflect as a participant of the program or to bring these ideas to your own chapter through your own program.
5. We briefly looked at the Jewish obligation to be an upstander and stand up for others in need. Please use pages 3-4 of this
Derech Eretz Bi-fold from IC 2011 to incorporate Jewish ideas into your discussion on being an upstander.
integrated into a bullying situation through digital tools and had an opportunity to "interview" both the target and "perpetrators" of bullying.
6. We headed to the Museum of Tolerance NY
for an interactive discussion on the Power of Words and the Point of View Diner, where we were
*Please note that Coach Randy is available to run this program in your chapter or Congregational School. You may contact him at his website
The Bystander-Bully Ring
(please refer to images in the Powerpoint as reference)
Coach Randy's prorgam summary notes
Suggestions: try to act out the bystander-bully ring by assigning each role to a different participant.
Use the familiar story of Moses acting on the beating of the Israelite slave by the Egyptian slavemaster to tie in some Torah. Other examples from Jewish tradition can be found in the aforementioned Derech Eretz Bi-fold.
1. Defining Bullying- For bullying to take place it generally includes the following three: Aggressive in nature, repetitive and creates an imbalance of power
The Bystander Bully Ring consists of two types of bystanders - Aggressive & Passive
2. A Cheerleader is an aggressive bystander. The attention of the cheerleader is on the initiator and motivator and encourages the behavior.
3. The Fanatic, Spectator and Ostrich are forms of Passive bystanders. The fanatic watches because it's exciting and part of the game, the spectator simply watches and often thinks to him/herself he/she is glad it's not them, the ostrich knows it's wrong, but does nothing to stop it.
What it takes to be an Upstander
Empathy, putting oneself in the target's perspective, courage and taking action.
- When possible, always remove the target - yell "someone's coming!"
- fogging -take on the same characteristics as the target (Think of the scene from the film Billy Madison, when the child is teased for wetting his pants- Adam Sandler's character defends him through fogging)
- Use assertive statements (Stop it! Enough!)
- Swarming - have others who want to do something join in the intervention
- Broken record - "what did you say?" acknowledge the bullying behavior. Speak up- there are always other bystanders who agree what is taking place is wrong.
In a Nuthsell:
Four Steps to Being an Upstander
Recognize the situation
Use your empathy and perspective
Utilize skills and strategies
Finally, adult interaction is the most effective form of intervention and elimination of bullying behavior.
GGG-Go Get a Grown-up (trusted adult)