American Bands Change Name to Fit Into Israeli Culture

 

On June 10th the Rolling Stones will perform in Israel for the first time. I understand that the Stones will be shifting some of the lyrics of their songs to make them fit the culture of Israel. For example, they will sing, "Jew Can't Always Get What Jew Want."

 

Artists' Current Name   They Might be Giants  Arcade Fire   Daft Punk  Arctic Monkeys   Eminem Black Sabbath Hootie and the Blowfish  Guns and Roses Florida Georgia Line

New Israel Name   They Might be Gentiles Arcade Falafel Daft Pita Artic Artic Artic Chicolate Banana Monkeys Mem & Mem Shabbat Shachor Hootie and the Gefilte Fish Guns & Moses  Florida Green Line

 

 

 

 

World Wide Web

On March 12 the world celebrated the 25th anniversary of the World Wide Web. This anniversary has made me rethink the way we run our school.

Last week I had a conversation with Rob Honig about the Hebrew dictionary.  He was frustrated that the dictionary we use with the kids did not translate the word "purple" the way we thought it should. I then went on my iPhone, using a Hebrew translator app and that app had the word we thought it should have.  In my mind, the app is smarter than the dictionary.

In thinking about apps, I'm sure if I search the World Wide Web long enough I can find an app for every subject we teach. And, if I can't I can hire some of our kids to create apps that will replace books and eventually teachers. Now, I'm not looking to get rid of our teachers mind you. BUT, we all know that robots have replaced thousands upon thousands of factory workers. Apps could eventually do the same thing for teachers.

Next year I am advocating that every child in the school kindergarten and up have an iTouch, a smart phone or a tablet. I'm sure we can find someone that can get every family a discount on such things. The younger children will not be required to have a phone number but must have an email. Everyone will be given a class list of apps that they must install on their mobile device. Every child must bring the device to school each Sunday and Wednesday if they are in Hebrew school.

I will give our seventh graders subject matter over the summer that they must develop an app that will cover their subject. For next year the children will still come to school every Sunday; the following year they will only come two Sundays a month; the following year it will be just once a month if the apps are doing the job. The Sundays that are not "in class" times, will be virtual. Kids will be required to sit on their beds in their pajamas to discuss the subject of the day.  Teachers will also be required to sit on their beds in their pajamas. Every child will have a camera installed in his/her room so that the teacher can see who is paying attention and who is playing with legos or playing minecraft on their computer.

It's a whole new world out there, thanks to the World Wide Web. We are always looking for ways to engage the youth and we know how much they love their iTouch, smartphone or tablets. We know how many parents hate driving the long drive on Sunday mornings. With this new plan, kids will be connected in ways they never thought could ever happen. Who knows what the next 25 years will bring!

Etz Chaim Sells Broadcast Rights

Executive Director, Carol Meyer, announced today that Etz Chaim has completed a year's long negotiation to sell the rights to broadcast the Congregation's streaming feed. "We were courted by a number of stations based on a video preview that was put together by the R&R and Office Committees" said Mrs. Meyer. 

With the eruption of reality shows on all networks, it was only a matter of time until "The Real Rabbis of the Reform Movement" found Rabbis Bob and Cosnowsky story so compelling. The raw feed of services was so dramatic that the bidding war began.

It seemed like most committees and services had their bidders. The Encore Channel wanted The Ramblers, Disney Jr. was after the Tot Shabbat services, and The Eternal World wanted the R&R committee. The Gift Shop and QVC matched well as did the Library and TLC. DIY Network was after Facilities, MSNBC wanted Office, and PBS liked the whole Membership approach. Smile of a Child TV sought out Youth and Sprout wanted the School, or was it Youth and Sprout, and Smile and School? Oprah's OWN had warm feeling about Caring. Justice Central was fighting for Social Action. National Geographic wanted to provide Lifelong Learning and, of course, the match between the Executive Board and Comedy Central was a no-brainer. 

In the end, WGN came in with an offer that Rabbi Bob just could not turn down. Our services will now be simulcast with all Chicago Cubs away games and during the seventh-inning stretch of all home games.

Grandma Di's Grandma Training Workshop 

I would like to offer a class for those of you that are almost a grandma, wanting to be a grandma or a grandma-in-waiting.  As a grandmother of 5,  I have learned some very valuable skills. It has been a trial by error process and I hope that I can save you some time and wasted effort.

Some of the topics that will be covered:

1. Do not start making a grilled cheese on challah sandwich with a 1 year old standing next to you - once he escapes and you try to find him, the sandwiches will be burned!
2. When serving a meal, you may put a vegetable on the plate but the applesauce, fruit and snack item will all be consumed LONG before that  vegetable will be touched!
3. When having a sleepover with them, do NOT let 3 of them try to sleep in the same bedroom as requested - sleep will not be part of the equation!
4. When changing a diaper, make sure you have 2 plastic bags available - enough said!
5. If carpooling to an outing, whether it will be a 5-minute drive or a 15-minute drive, be sure to have THEIR music playing in the car - they love to sing along
6. If going to an outing, whether short or long, ALWAYS carry a snack item - hunger is ever present!
7. When putting together a 300+ little Lego set, make sure you have ALL the pieces!
8. NO PLAYDOH! Little crumbles are found for days after the visit.
9. When an app is requested for the iPad make sure there are no guns involved in the game!

I look forward to any other experienced grandmothers who want to join us to share their grandma wisdom with the rest of the class.

B'nai Mitzvah Dates by Card Draw 

In the past, Rabbi Bob has spent hours, days, even weeks pondering over the assignment of B'nai Mitzvah dates based on birth dates of those students turning 13 in a given year year.

Starting in 2016, we are going to relieve Rabbi Bob of this tedious process.

In the spirit of the Gala, dates will be assigned based on drawing a card from a standard deck of cards.  52 cards - 52 Saturdays in the year. Each card will correlate to a Saturday during the year.

Each family with a child turning 13 during 2016 will pick a card. If a family does not like the date selected, they can turn it back in and have a chance for a different date more to their liking. Then, available dates will be listed. A family can purchase a date from, the list. The price will be the number of the weekend (1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc) times $18, if January 2, 2016 is purchased, the price is $18. For December 31, 2016 the price is $936.00.

You must be present to pick a card. There will be no trading between families, since all cards are the property of Congregation Etz Chaim of DuPage County. Any family not present at the drawing will purchase a date from the list

For a complete listing of the rules, go to:www.B'naiMitzvahDatesatCongregationEtzChaimofDuPageCounty.MazelTov