Upcoming Women's Events

by Johnese Burtram

What ticks me off? Important stuff:   

• bananas that get freckled before the skin turns yellow 
• wrinkle cream that doesn't seem to make much difference; now that I started using it I'm afraid of what I might look like without it
• black dresses that attract dog hair like a magnet 
• waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep 
• whiners and complainers and the like

Seriously, I do get ticked off with our disturbingly frequent assumption that I am the exception to the rule. Read more...

by Denise Ouellette 

Kids say the funniest things. I have started keeping a written record of all the funny things my grand-kids say. Maybe some day I'll do a stand up comedy show and include all their hilarious antidotes in it. Read more ....

Denise is a licensed minister of the Assemblies of God. She and her husband of 26 years have 5 daughters and 8 grand children. She is the Missions director, Lighthouse Worship Center in Gloucester, Virginia.

With a degree in Accounting she runs her own bookkeeping business. On the side, she writes plays and skits most of which are produced at my church.

 by Linda Seagears   

I'd had a really long, hard, over-full day. If memory serves me right it was near Christmas when life overflows with hustle and bustle. I was cleaning up the kitchen after a church gathering and I was dog tired. In our quirky family, we have a goofy habit of singing loudly and off key as a stress reliever (you really should try it sometime - wink, wink!). So, in my silly way I was singing at the kitchen sink while my hubby tidied the living room. I started singing "Make the World Go Away" in a way that would make just about anyone listening want to go away. Well, my husband whipped out his phone and recorded my crooning! Of course he didn't let me know what he'd done right away - he waited until an opportune, semi-public moment. It's been a few years, but that man still has it on his phone and giggles like a little boy when he pulls it out once in a blue moon for someone to hear.

Recently my husband and I attended an outdoor concert for a band we both like. At the beginning of the first set a fight broke out behind us between a woman and a man. Both appeared to have lost track of their beverage count, and the woman was hitting and pushing the man, yelling that he was a child and an idiot. The man gently tried to calm her down, but after smacking him on the chest a few more times she stumbled toward the exit with him trailing behind. There was awkward laughter in the surrounding seats, and then everyone started listening to the music again.

Except me. I started thinking about weaker vessels.

http://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/relationships/weaker-vessels.html  

I went on vacation ready to fix my grandiose life. God had other plans. 
by Ashley Moore

Two weeks ago, I headed to a beach house in North Carolina ... It would be my first real vacation in years, and I was ready to, in addition to having extremely long, productive, life-changing quiet times with God, accomplish several personal goals, including regular morning runs, a tan for my pasty Irish skin, the consumption of healthy food, and at least five edifying novels during my time on the beach.

The only goal I managed to achieve of the 10 I initially set for myself was to stay off the internet.

In all other aspects, I was a total failure.

http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/2012/10/insignificant_1.html  

Help to keep your finances from driving you nuts

By Kelsey Menehan

  Several years ago, I sat in my fancy condominium, with its cathedral ceilings and skylights, and watched my frozen breath. It'd been months since my heat pump had broken-for the third time. Months during which I couldn't find the thousands of dollars I needed to replace it, months of space heaters and warm sweaters that kept the bitter cold at bay, but not the shame.

Simple Soup Recipes

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/nutrition/easy-soup 

Scary News Alert: Your Diet Can Give You Alzheimer's 
Posted on October 4, 2012 by Sysan Rinkunas, Women's Health Online Editor

Step away from the doughnuts in the office kitchen-if not for your body, then for your brain.

You likely know that an unhealthy diet can lead to obesity and related conditions like type 2 diabetes, but there's growing evidence to suggest that eating sugary, processed foods can trigger what some experts are calling Type 3 Diabetes: brain-altering Alzheimer's Disease.

http://blog.womenshealthmag.com/thisjustin/alzheimers/  

A Lifetime of Good Health: Your Guide to Staying Healthy  U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' Office on Women's Health

http://www.womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/lifetime-good-health/  

You Cannot "Do All Things" through Christ  by Byron Yawn

A more accurate translation of the principle is "I can trust in Christ (and the benefits of his life, death and resurrection) even when I can't achieve a personal goal. I can fail to achieve my goals and still trust my Savior's love. Or, I can have cancer. Or, I can lose everything. Or, I can be fired. I can "do all this" because of who Jesus is. It's the unpredictable swings of life (want, prosperity) which Paul was able to traverse by focusing on the work of Christ. This is the "all things" he has in view here.

 

Point is... Christ is sufficient even when I can't change things. Or, when my circumstance has the potential to change me. I can be in the worst place of my entire life with joy and peace because Christ is infinitely better.

http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/spiritual-life/you-cannot-do-all-things-through-christ.html  

The following prayer, based on Psalm 27 is attributed to Nancy Leigh DeMoss:

"Lord Jesus You have shown me that only one thing is absolutely necessary, and that is the one thing I want to seek after with all my heart: that I may live in your presence every day of my life, that I may gaze upon Your beauty with a heart of worship and adoration, and that I may learn to know Your heart, Your ways, and Your will. To this supreme purpose I dedicate myself. By Your grace, I will make this the highest daily priority of my life. Amen"

The following quotes are from: http://dailychristianquote.com/dcqcharacter.html 

Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.    

Max Lucado Upwords 

It is strange that while praying, we seldom ask for a change of character, but always a change of circumstances.   Anonymous

The fruit of the Spirit is not push, drive, climb, grasp and trample...Life is more than a climb to the top of the heap.   Richard J. Foster  

Brief Biography And List Of Works 

Many Christians struggle to decide how (or if) to celebrate Halloween. After all, it is a holiday that seems to emphasize darkness, superstition and fear. Furthermore, there is the claim that the holiday is pagan in origin - an assertion that simply is not true.  http://www.crosswalk.com/special-coverage/halloween/is-halloween-pagan-in-origin.html 

In my estimation, the Church should be a woman's best support group. In the aftermath of a miscarriage, other believing women should surround the mourner with comfort and support. Here are some tips that might help women do just that.

http://eileen-rife.blogspot.com/2012/10/a-womans-best-support-group.html 

God's Neighborhood Plan

Our street was changing. Was I powerless to do anything about it?

By Claudean Boatman

  My husband and I joke that we live in "the slums of Water Valley." Starter homes, weedy yards, and porches with peeling paint dot our neighborhood. Across the way, Water Valley shows off million dollar houses and signs warning that the walking paths and fishing ponds are theirs alone.

http://www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/2012/septemberoctober-issue/gods-neighborhood-plan.html?utm_source=todayschristianwoman&utm_medium=Newsletter&utm_term=11920293&utm_content=139064544&utm_campaign=2012 

Reviews

Nobody's Child is Full of Grace

Author: Austin Boyd
Title: Nobody's Child
Publisher: Zondervan

Laura Ann McGehee will do anything to save the farm that has been in her family for six generations. When her father dies after a lengthy illness, her dwindling resources rapidly dry up in the parched West Virginia summer. Threatened on one side by the extreme weather that destroyed her crop and on the other side by the financial and legal machinations of her jealous Uncle Jack, Laura Ann resorts once again to an unusual, disturbing means of earning money.

 http://www.crosswalk.com/culture/books/fiction/i-nobody-s-child-i-is-full-of-grace.html 

Three Questions for Sara Groves 

Thoughts about understanding who God truly is.

by Ann Byle

An Interview with Sara Groves

Sara Groves marked a milestone in her career with the recent release of her tenth album, Invisible Empires, which our sister resource Christianity Today magazine called "another musical triumph." For Sara, her vulnerability and introspection in her music and her faith make her transparent and authentic. So we wanted to know her thoughts about understanding who God truly is.

Bumper Stickers 

• Forget World Peace -- Visualize Turning Off Your Turn Signal!
• If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
• Honk If Anything Falls Off

http://www.crosswalk.com/culture/humor/bumper-stickers/bumper-stickers-1338593.html 

Freezer Labels  I have changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or "Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables or "Chicken and Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie." 

However, I used to get very frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes. 

If you look in my freezer now you'll see a whole new set of labels. You'll find dinners with neat, legible tags that say: "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don't Know," "I Don't Care," "Something Good," or "Food." My frustration is reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it will be there waiting.  http://www.crosswalk.com/culture/humor/gender-or-age/freezer-lables-1252742.html 

On Aging 

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker. 

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief." 

Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.  http://www.crosswalk.com/culture/humor/gender-or-age/on-aging-1359060.html 

Man Speak  Understanding Male Talk OR What He is Really Saying

"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." 

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me." 

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."  http://www.crosswalk.com/culture/humor/gender-or-age/manspeak-1354426.html 

A Dictionary for Women

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. -- A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. 

Airhead (er*hed) n. -- What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. 

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. -- A drink you buy at a conven- ience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&M's. 

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. -- The last two minutes of a football game. 

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. -- To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.  http://www.crosswalk.com/culture/humor/gender-or-age/a-dictionary-for-women-1344458.html