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Yoga Bits
Morsels of yogic wisdom and information

 Feb. 18 - 25, 2013   

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Sh*t Happens
And feeling sh*tty happens, too    

"Simply be present with your own shifting energies and with the unpredictability of life as it unfolds."

-- Pema Chodron, "Taking the Leap" 

 

 

Sometimes in my spiritual, "enlightened" community, I feel like I must fight for the right to feel my shitty feelings.

 

Yes, the yoga world has its own taboos, among them expressing dark, unloving thoughts or displaying ignoble, selfish behavior. There really is only one problem that: we're all human and we do these things. Expecting or pretending otherwise is a recipe for hypocrisy.

 

Sandy Hook Parents
Some things will never be okay: parents of
Sandy Hook Elementary School children

Actually, I believe acknowledging the shit and hell makes me more authentic and, therefore, amplifies my spirit. That's just how I am. The depth of anguish I feel is of equal proportion to the height of joy. I do not have to declare the worst experience of my life to be "okay" in order to be okay myself. I'd rather just skip all the judgment and get on with being okay or not, moment to moment. I already struggle with an internal battle to validate myself. To then face censure from so-called healers who won't tolerate expressions of pain or anger...well, I just find that absurd. 

And then there are people like teacher Ally Hamilton of Yogis Anonymous. I recently discovered her through her Facebook posts. Ally has a genuine gift for conveying the complex reality of being spiritual in a human experience. I often feel frustration trying to express it myself and it's relief to see my heart and mind reflected back to me in her writing. With Ally's permission, I'm sharing with you a portion of her words on this particular subject matter:

 

Some things will never be okay. I think it's really important to grasp this. Some losses are so devastating the only hope is just to find a way to hold the pain in your heart and manage to put one foot in front of the other. To trust that the searing hot red of it will subside to a dull ache... There are times I wonder how people are doing it. All the parents who lost children at Sandy Hook Elementary,

Elie Wiesel
"That I survived the Holocaust and went on to love beautiful girls, to talk, to write, to have toast and tea and live my life -- that is what is abnormal." -- Elie Wiesel

for example. Those families are still dealing with a sudden, recent, violent loss that is so knifing, so brutal, I can only hope they all had at least one other child. Otherwise I don't know how you get up in the morning...

 

...There's no amount of healing or positive thinking or belief in the idea that "everything happens for a reason" that will ever make that okay for any of those families, or for anyone, anywhere who loses a cherished person through a violent act. Cancer is violent. So are heart attacks. Drones. If you want your spiritual practice to hold you up and get you through, you cannot turn your eyes away from the painful truths. You have to be able to hold it all. Otherwise you're living in a state where you can only receive the light. And that's simply not real. Life is full of incredible joy and incredible heartache.

 

...Expecting to be okay with that kind of loss keeps you stuck and disappointed in yourself when it doesn't happen. But not being okay with something doesn't mean it has to reduce you. It can inspire incredible compassion. It can expand you, make you greater than. People in pain like that are usually the ones who take action. Who stand up. Who draw attention to a problem we all need to hold in our hands...

 

...It takes a softness and a vulnerability and a willingness to weep if you want to be awake to the realities of this experience of being human. If you want to receive every single day as the gift it is. If you want to live every moment fully. And I surely hope you do. Because this life IS beautiful, even with all its pain. The pain opens you if you let it.

 

A profound miracle, to be sure -- and you don't have to be okay with that.

Sat Nam,
Mary

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Kundalini, Hatha and Restorative classes at my home studio in North Hollywood are now $25 each and can be scheduled upon request. Private sessions are $75 per appointment and consist of a 30- to 60-minute consultation, a custom recipe for a personal practice based on your individual needs, and 30 minutes of follow-up instruction by phone or in person.

 Just email me.


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The techniques and suggestions presented in Yoga Bits are not intended as medical claims or to substitute for proper medical advice. Consult your physician before beginning any new exercise program. If you are elderly or have any chronic or recurring conditions such as high blood pressure, neck or back pain, arthritis, heart disease, and so on, seek your physician's advice before practicing.