Seattle: Advised by both tellers of fairy tales and harbingers of doom, many engaged couples don't know what to expect from marriage. They may believe God created the institution, but many of the unions around them exhibit frustration or end in heartache. Other couples focus their energies on planning the perfect wedding day instead of preparing a relational foundation on which their lives together can be built.
Rob Green, a pastor and veteran pre-marital counselor, provides young couples with a blueprint to follow in his new book, Tying the Knot: A Premarital Guide to a Strong and Lasting Marriage(New Growth Press/February 1, 2016/ISBN: 978-1942572596/ $17.99). Green assures couples the joy, fun and love they hope for is not wishful, romantic thinking; it's God'splan for marriage. It's also within reach for every couple willing to do the work needed to center their relationship on Jesus intentionally.
For Green, a person's walk with the Lord and their marriage are inseparable. "There are many moments in marriage where our commitment to Christ is challenged," he shares. "What happens when one spouse wants to be intimate and the other doesn't? When one spouse says something mean to the other? Tens of thousands of these scenarios will occur in 50 years of a relationship. How one responds to them will be rooted in the strength of their walk with Christ."
Tying the Knot offers soon-to-be-married couples a practical vision of what a Christ-centered marriage looks like, with advice that is realistic, hopeful and actionable. The nine-session study guides couples through issues such as conflict, expectations, communication, finances and intimacy, showing how every challenge can be resolved successfully through making Christ the priority in their life and relationship. "I tell couples you were not created to be each other's savior," Green reveals. "You were designed to be a spouse because the job of savior has already been filled. When couples live for Jesus, they will live obediently to the Word, focused on prayer, dedicated to service and willing to give of themselves for the betterment of others."
Knowing the stresses and needs of a couple during their season of engagement, Green has designed the study to require a manageable 60-90 minutes of at-home work per session, with questions and exercises to build communication and intimacy at the end of each chapter. Tying the Knot also includes an appendix for mentors, making it easy for a seasoned married couple, lay leader or counselor to lead an engaged couple through the book.
Green hopes Tying the Knot will put couples on the path to becoming the godly examples young people need to cut through the cynicism in our culture toward marriage. Readers of the book will find the resources they need to reorient their life and relationship, making it possible for them to experience all the blessings of this institution as God designed it.
Advance Praise
"From now on, this is the book I will recommend for premarital and marital counseling."
~ Bob Kellemen, author of Gospel-Centered Counseling and Gospel Conversations
"Tying the Knot is a great book for those considering marriage. The topics are highly relevant and the homework will help any counselor or couple to put these crucial lessons into practice."
~ Garrett Higbee, Executive Director of Biblical Soul Care and the Biblical Counseling Coalition
About the author
Rob Green has been the pastor of counseling and seminary ministries at Faith Church in Lafayette, Ind., since 2005. His responsibilities there include oversight of the Faith Biblical Counseling Ministry and teaching New Testament at the Faith Bible Seminary. Green wasn't always a pastor; he has a B.S. in engineering physics from Ohio State University and after college wrote computer programs to process credit cards. After feeling a call to the ministry he entered seminary, eventually earning a M.Div. and a Ph.D. from Baptist Bible Seminary.
Green also serves on the board of the Biblical Counseling Coalition and has authored a number of counseling minibooks. He and his wife, Stephanie, have three children: Joseph, Samuel and Mackenzie. The family makes their home in Indiana.
Suggested interview questions
- You have been counseling married couples for years. What finally prompted you to put pen to paper and write Tying the Knot?
- One chapter is written specifically to mentors. How is this book also designed to be used by pastors, mentors or counselors?
- What sets Tying the Knot apart from other pre-marriage books on the market?
- You write that successful marriages are "Christ-centered." What does a Christ-centered marriage look like?
- How closely is our walk with God tied to the quality of our relationship with our spouse?
- Many brides and grooms spend more time planning their wedding day than planning for their marriage. What marriage plans should an engaged couple make before their big day?
- In your counseling experience, what is the number-one issue that trips up young couples? How do you address it in Tying the Knot?
- Why do you write so candidly about intimacy? That is a subject most people do not like to discuss.
- What was the biggest lesson you and your wife learned during the early years of your relationship?
- A lot of young people are cynical about marriage. What would you say to convince them it is still one of God's greatest institutions?
- When it comes to roles in marriage, what are some of the non-negotiables, and what is up for debate?
- How is your chapter on finances different than the classic financial counsel?
- Why do some couples struggle with problem-solving?
- How important is a church community in the life of a young couple?
- If a couple has been dating for a while and are starting to wonder whether or not they should get married, what are the top three things they should consider before picking out the rings?
- Each chapter ends with exercises and questions for the couple to answer separately and together. What is the goal of these practical exercises? Could a couple who is already married benefit from reading Tying the Knot?
- You cover eight key topics, including love, conflict, expectations, communication, finances and intimacy in Tying the Knot, but if you had to give just one piece of advice to engaged couples, what would it be?
To request a review copy of Tying the Knot, to schedule an interview with Rob Green or to find out more information, please contact Audra Jennings, audra@litfusegroup.com.
