It's been a real long while since I sat down to write a newsletter, and before another year comes to a close, I wanted to connect with you here by sharing a little story about me, and how choosing a sacred path led me into the deepest, darkest, depths of my shadow-self and back again.

I was told that's what happens when one's healing journey becomes a spiritual practice. I was warned that "the bliss zone" can be dangerously addictive. I learned that too much love, loss, shame, grief and mourning will change a person profoundly.

No coincidence that my specialty is Spiritual Nutrition.... which means I get to help people look beyond the foods that feed their body and find the stuff that feeds their soul. Because I believe that when the soul is being nourished, the body can and will heal itself. I don't do carbs and calories with my clients, in case you were wondering.

So, why was I so surprised when God/Goddess/Divine-Intervention rudely awakened me... again? I thought I was already awake. I thought I was already aware. I thought I was already putting something good out there. So why did it seem like I swimming upstream? I had to stop thinking so much, and start feeling the work and the lessons. 

Someone once said to me, "if you're not making money, it's a hobby." And an expensive hobby at that! Yet, I am still doing it ten years later... thanks to my husband who is a great provider, and my mom who is a very generous supporter.

Flashback to 2006... I had a cushy corporate job for 17 years that I actually liked showing up for. My bosses were great, the money was fine, I had creative freedom, and the benefits were pacifying.

So why did I walk away?

I guessed it was time... time to leave a false sense of security... time to leave a situation that no longer served my soul's purpose... time to leave a group of co-workers that had me feeling like an outcast... time to leave an office that was tainted with too much negativity... time to leave a place where I couldn't get a veggie wrap at the Christmas Holiday Luncheon because the "lady" (ahem) in charge refused to accommodate my dietary preference, out of spite. And yes, it was heartbreaking, because I'm sensitive like that.

So on that fateful day before Christmas in 2005, it occurred to me that I could leave this job... and the idea was intoxicating!

I was already on my healing path. I was already enrolled in a program that indulged my "expensive hobby." And I was already set on doing holistic work when I retired. Yet, just half-way through the course, I took a leap of faith, trusting that I'd surely learn to fly before hitting the ground.

But a person's gotta have wings in order to fly, and mine were still wet. So I watched as the ground come up to meet me in what seemed like a slow-motion crash and burn, while I tried desperately to deny it was happening. The first time took a few years to recover. Yep, that's what happened. And it happened again, and again, and again.

So what did I do to save myself? I took more courses that I liked. I hired a few coaches whom I loved. And I received the best blessings in the midst of the worst situations. I met a new soul tribe. I found a spiritual family. And I went everywhere my heart called me to. But mostly, I stopped living in denial. One of my proudest moments was getting up to host a Love Cleanse on Valentines Day for a dozen people while my own heart was breaking.

Ten years later, I reflect on how I got to meet my favorite guru in person because I was available during "work hours." I got to go on and host some amazing holistic retreats, both nearby and in far-away exotic places. I get to make lunch dates with my best friends and extend our conversations well past the hour. I get to show up as much as I want for the best yoga classes in town (thanks to 5BPY). And, I get to watch people transform their own lives as I guide them through their process, one step at a time, one bite at a time.

In ten years, I went from being a Sales Coordinator promoting stuff I had no alignment with, to Solo Entrepreneur, Holistic Health Counselor, Integrative Nutrition Coach, Foot Reflexologist, Reiki Master, and now, a Yoga Teacher. Yes, I have been busy.

As I witnessed, often horrified, my old life coming undone, I can humbly see how I have reinvented myself ten times over. I hardly recognize the person I once was. Things that seemed easy for me in the past are no longer doable. And what was unimaginable, is now my new normal.

It still challenges me, turning this passion of mine into a livelihood. I don't enjoy putting a price tag on blessed work. Some days I just want to "get a real job and get over it." But then something happens to validate my purpose... I get the client, I sell the program, I land the gig. So I keep moving towards the vision while doing the dance of "two steps forward, one step back." It keeps me in check.

I admit some years (yes, years!) were just plain awful, especially the ones where friends were lost without goodbyes. And that time I got shysted out of big bucks on an office rental that never happened by a local salon owner whom I shall leave nameless. (Not MY hairdresser!)

Mostly though, times were filled with joy, and guided by Angels.

Today, as I sit here drinking fresh brewed organic coffee out of my big cup, I'm feeling so grateful for my sweet little family, my soul tribe of dear friends, my heaven-sent gurus, my blessed clients, and for every client who became my friend. I am especially grateful for the yoga practice that saves me time and time again, for synchronicity, and for the darn good blessed life I get to live.

And I am grateful to you, for being here now, for reading my words, and for allowing me to share. I wish you all the blessings your heart can hold today, in the New Year, and always.

Namaste'
Peace & Wellness
So Much Love,