Believe it or not, summer is gone and the fall and holiday seasons are once again upon us.  Is it just me, or does the earth turn faster with each passing year? 

This year I have been focused on balance.  Balance for work.  Balance for home.  Balance in my personal life.  It hasn't been easy.

I'm a chronic overachiever and work is my escape.  It always has been.  And I'm good at it. That's why when life gets difficult or pressures mount or I feel lonely or something bad happens that results in loss or grief, I can bury myself in work and it eases all burdens.

It doesn't matter if that work is actual work or charity work or helping a friend in need (usually all three at once).   

As long as I have a project or commitment to something, all is well in my world.  And believe me, this is nothing new.  This has been my modis operandi since I was 7 years old.  I can remember cleaning bathrooms at that age and reorganizing the kitchen in the middle of the night by age 10.

So technically, mine is genetic behavior.  And overcoming something so ingrained can be a challenge.  Especially when one takes that genetic predisposition and creates a business based on helping other people.   

By definition, it is my job to do what others can't or won't, to go above and beyond to make others' lives easier.  While that works fine in business; that caretaker attitude can flood over into your personal life and thwart any attempt for balance.

recognize and acknowledge (just like any addict) that we don't have it in the first place.  

Several clear indicators that your balance is lopsided often come in the form of wide-eyed incredulous commentary from others:

--Geez... you're intimidating!

--How do you get it all done?

--Wow, how do you keep track of everything?

--You must not have a life! 

And the ever popular:  Do you ever sleep? 

Despite the fact we tell ourselves that our excessive workload, philanthropic and care-giving activities are honorable, perhaps there are other, less noble causes for our imbalance.   

Maybe (usually) there is an unconscious need to control things and situations.  Or we have the inability to delegate.  Or we have a self-worth issue and we're overcompensating. Or D, all of the above.

Over the course of this year, it has become clearly evident that it is possible to lose oneself in the mire of busywork.  And I, for one, have had to learn not only is it 'ok' to say 'no', but it is absolutely necessary on occasion. 

This is particularly true when you have a history of accepting tasks you really didn't want to do in the first place, but feel obligated to do because no one else is stepping up.

The reality is, you simply can't solve every problem, control every situation or rescue every damsel (or knight). It's not humanly possible and not only will you find yourself overwhelmed; your self-esteem will suffer if you attempt to do so. Worse, a sustained lack of balance can leave you depressed and miserable.   

So what I've found to be helpful is to implement a thirty second rule (NOT a 32^nd rule, but a timed 30 seconds - c'mon, you know you were thinking it!).   

These days, before I raise my hand or say 'yes' to something new, I now seriously consider:

 -- 'Do I want to do this?'

-- 'Why do I want to do this?'

--'What impact will this have on my current workload and commitments?'

 --'How do I feel about this at a gut level?'

If all the responses to those questions are positive, then by all means, I will continue on.  But if even one is negative, then it's time to bite my tongue and sit on my hands.

It's been tough.  I've had to back away from some of the activities I love, particularly charitable activities, but if I am ever to have balance then this is what must be done.  Believe me, it can be difficult when someone comes to you directly and asks for you to take on some non-work-related project or task personally but you must, MUST, stand firm in your resolve. And do it without guilt too; do it because it is good for your health and your psyche.

Like all good things, change comes in the form of small steps forward.  Striving confidently toward balance is one of the best paths you can take.  If you honor that voice inside you - the real authentic voice that says 'I really don't want to do this' and you say no every time you feel that way, soon you'll find that balance has arrived, effortlessly....

Our Favorite Things...

Flatout Foldit Artisan Flatbread  

Are you one of the millions of people who restrict gluten products?  Do you miss bread?  We do...

We just found an amazing product.  It is NOT wheat free so it is not for those of you with Celiacs, but this Flatout, Foldit bread may be a great alternative to rice-based bread products.  And it tastes better than they do too.

Flatout offers many products but the one we like is a 5 Grain Flax and Omega 3 bread that is very flat and shaped like an 8 (or infinity, whichever your brain prefers). 

This flatbread contains over 40% fewer net carbs than regular bread and one whole piece only has 90 calories!  And the best part is, you can fold it over into a sandwich with your favorite fillings!

We love this option.  It is delicious and convenient and satisfies the desire for a sandwich without (for us at least) the head rush associated with regular bread (all wheat, yeast and sugar makes us sluggish and headachy). 

Foldit is available at your local grocers.  We found the 5 Grain Flax version at Von's at Monterey and Hwy 111.

Give Foldit a try.... One of our favorite things....

 

["Our Favorite Things" gives us an opportunity to share people, places, events and things that we truly love and that you might too.  We have no business affiliation with any company or individual featured here.  We just want to share good things with you and if our recommendations help build business for someone else or saves you time or money, GREAT!!!]

Not too long ago, we did our own housekeeping, washed our own car, cut our own hair, mowed our own lawn, cleaned our own pool, picked up after and walked our own pets, unclogged our own drains, even made our own coffee.... every aspect of our lives was a do-it-yourself project.

Somewhere along the way, we've stopped doing all these things and instead have outsourced them to others who specialize.  These days it can take a village to manage our lives.   

Either we are so focused on work that we stay long hours and don't want to do these types of manual chores, instead opting to spend what little free time we have with our families and friends; or we are retired and would prefer to spend our time doing leisurely and fun activities because we already spent a lifetime working to reach this point.

Either way, just the sheer act of coordinating all those outsourced services can make us crazy.  (Well, except the daily stop at Starbucks!)  

That's why it is desirable to have a single point of contact for all our routine or mundane tasks - and that's where Lifestyle Management services come in.   

A Lifestyle Management company will assign a person to you (often called a Personal Concierge).  This person will keep track of appointments, facilitate home maintenance services, run errands, go shopping and will follow up to make sure everything is done to suit your preferences, all the while making sure your home is cared for as if you were doing it yourself.    

A Personal Concierge can even communicate with your HOA for several issues, facilitate architectural submissions on your behalf and can perform absentee home inspections during the times you are away from the desert. 

And the good news is all this can be coordinated by a single person dedicated to your home.  All charges can be managed via credit card so you can collect those air miles that will enable you to escape even more often.

As a society, we must strive for balance.  We cannot work 100% and then come home and work another 100%  It isn't healthy.  Engaging a Lifestyle Management company is no longer a luxury; it is both practical and a necessity and will go a long way toward helping you achieve balance.

Do you DO what really makes you happy?  Do you even KNOW what really makes you happy?   

I recently took a quick online test to find out the answers to both those questions.  In three 30 second bursts, you are to write down what you want to Experience, what would help you Grow and what you want your legacy to be, i.e. what your Contributions will be in your lifetime.

When you follow the 30 second rule for this process, there is no time to really think.  You take Experience, set the stopwatch for 30 seconds and start jotting down words.  Then you go to the next one.  At the end of 90 seconds you have a roadmap to a happy life - if you opt to create the action plan to help you achieve it.

Some of my answers are deeply personal (as yours will be) but I'll select a couple non-personal from each category.

For Experience - I wrote down travel more and have another convertible.  Nothing makes me happier than driving vacations, especially with the car open and the wind blowing.   Actually I'll travel anywhere.  I love the airport and the check in and packing and hotels.  Despite doing 10 years of travel for work, I still get excited when I step foot into an airport!

For Growth, I wrote down read more and learn another language.  I used to read a lot, but in the last 8 years I can count on two hands the number of books I've read (and three of those had the color grey in the title!).  I did take a Spanish class earlier this year but alas, while I can read it and understand it fairly well; the speaking is still halted and broken.  However, there is still time!

For Contribution (legacy), I wrote that I want to teach more and write a book.  I absolutely love teaching which is why we've decided to offer webinars.  Consulting and teaching are two of my most favorite things.  As far as the book goes, I have an outline, but have misplaced it and until it shows back up it is on hold.  When it is time to be written, I feel confident the outline will resurface.

Each of these goals would bring me absolute joy.  Add in the personal goals and wow - now THAT's a life!  Many of them are already in process, thankfully, because life is really short.  Too short.   

I posted this on our Facebook page, but I'm going to post it again here:  

Top 5 Regrets of the Dying 

Please take a moment and read it. It's short but powerful!

happy and to avoid having regrets at the end of our lives, it is necessary to consciously create balance.   

By applying the 30 second rule and giving conscious thought to whether we truly want to do something or not, we are telling ourselves we are worth doing what makes us feel good and thus we nourish our soul instead of doing what we think is expected and squandering precious time.

Honor your spirit and live a happy life!

 Leslie Spoor, C.C.S

President, Executive Errands® & Concierge Business Solutions™
760.898.9604

CL #944447

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