WEEKLY ARTICLE

Thanksgiving Performance Anxiety

Thanksgiving.

When I was younger, I used to panic every year prior to Thanksgiving.

For some reason, Thanksgiving was the one holiday each year that created tremendous pressure and performance anxiety within me.

Oh yes, Valentine's Day sort of did that to me as well!

But Thanksgiving has always remained the most difficult.

To be honest, all of the holidays were all a little stressful for me, because I did not have the BIG, picture perfect happy family that I saw advertised and depicted everywhere that I turned. Does anyone really? I had a nice enough family, but it was small. And REAL. As in NOT perfect.

And of all of the holidays, Thanksgiving really went through some major changes along my arduous journey thus far.

From rebellious family dinners during my teens, especially during my early vegetarian years, to hilariously wild college day bashes that did not always result in a meal, to attempts at grown-up and mature Thanksgivings during the "married" years, then back to random singledom again after the marriages, and so on.

Which brings me to a few years ago.

With much of my family now deceased, Thanksgiving had dwindled to Jaime, my mother, and myself. 

Like I said, not a BIG group.

And a few years ago my mother went out of town over Thanksgiving and left me here on my own.

As much as I wanted to think that I would be okay, the little girl inside of me was a bit concerned.

After all, this would be the first Thanksgiving since my move back to South Florida in 1994 that I would spend without my family.

And one of the purposes of my move back to South Florida was to be with family.

As busy as we are here at Wholly Macro preparing the beautiful Thanksgiving Menu that we prepare each year for all of you, the entire holiday conveniently (for me) ended up on the back burner (so to speak - no pun intended)!

When the feared day finally arrived, I began it by luxuriating in the freedom of a holiday in the middle of the week, and allowed myself to let go (just a little), and relax.

We had plenty of food prepared, but realizing that a piece of fish would be nice, we made a mad dash to our local fish market only to find it closed. But the owners were inside working (as many of us small business owners often are, even on holidays), so they opened the door for us, and sold us a beautiful piece of fish.

A lovely and kind act.

Once back home, I took a walk over to the beach where I encountered the "beach cabana guy" who was stuck working that day. He had no Thanksgiving meal waiting for him at home. (I asked).

So I walked back home and filled a container of leftover Wholly Macro food for him and brought it back over before continuing my walk.

I'll never forget his happy smile. It was a beautiful reward for my own kind act of giving.

During my walk I ran into a couple that I often chat with during neighborhood walks.

Eventually I wandered back home and had a wonderful fresh fish dinner with Jaime, complete with all of the Wholly Macro Thanksgiving Menu's Traditional Thanksgiving fixings.

Jaime and I watched a fun movie afterwards, and it turned out to be a really great day and an even greater memory.

Was my Thanksgiving performance anxiety finally a thing of the past for me?

I think so.

I hope so.

And with so many of my peers losing various family members (such as parents) these days, I "hear" that it is a tough day for many others out there as well.

Apparently it is not just me.

So I have compiled a little list of my tried and true holiday anxiety busting strategies to help all of us through.

• For non-cooks: Find a vegan, raw, macrobiotic, or any healthy themed meal sharing holiday event to attend. Pay if necessary (and it usually is necessary). You can then eat well while being in the company of many like-minded soul mates with whom you can celebrate said holiday with.

• You can also create a holiday dinner party at your place, and invite the homeless! You know, all of the people that you know who are in need of a place to go, in need of a "family". 

Because: 

• If you feel a pity party coming on, you can always volunteer. Anywhere. You can make the holiday a bit happier for humans or animals via volunteering. If you don't want to be alone, there are many places that do the selfless work of volunteering - giving of themselves - to help people from all walks of life. And they need your help. Volunteering and giving to others is a great way to get out of your own head, be around people, have fun, and feel good about yourself and the world. Having done my own fair share of volunteering, I think that you will feel fulfilled and satisfied by the experience. 

• If you simply must, you can choose to be alone and sad. It is okay to give yourself permission to be sad. Sometimes it is the only way to move onward, through and eventually out of your pain. I think it is safe to say that we have all "been there" at one time or another.

• Do you know a happy family that has a tradition of celebrating certain holidays? You can always latch onto them and become "part of the family". We have done that for forty plus years each Christmas Eve with the big family that we grew up across the street from, and it has been a truly great experience. The matriarch of that family passed away last year and it is uncertain if the tradition will continue, so I just may have to follow my own advice and create a new tradition for myself on that day. It is sad indeed, but I am going to make sure to create my own new happy traditions and memories. I think that I am perfectly capable of doing that for myself. Even if it means simply staying home and relaxing. 

• Going out to dinner on a holiday is kind of fun too if you can find a healthy restaurant with a nice atmosphere. That has become my little family's latest Thanksgiving tradition these days. We have a place very close by, with dining al fresco on the intracoastal, and since it is the perfect time of year to sit outside and enjoy the lovely South Florida November weather, it makes for a nice break from the kitchen for us!