Hi there!  

Have you wandered lonely as a cloud? Or, in my case, as a clod??

Do you sometimes feel as though the world seems to be a series of exclusive social clubs but somehow your membership got lost in the post? Wouldn't it be wonderful to be part of that high-fiving gang you see on ski slopes and in restaurants, booking tables for 26 with the air cracking with their in-jokes and all inclusive bonhomie?

If this is not you then just scroll down to the other news stuff at the bottom of this newsletter. But if you, like me, often feel out on a limb, in a class of your own or to put no finer point on it, a bit lonely, then read on as I want to talk to you soul to soul.

The old cliché of being lonely in a room of people wouldn't be that old chestnut if it didn't contain within it a little bit of gritty truth. It's not for want of company, no, it's not that at all.

It may be people don't talk your language, figuratively or literally, that you feel like an outsider even when you've a ringside seat or you just feel like you actively struggle to fit in. If that's you then join the club.  

Maybe too, like me, you are not short of company but of understanding, you are not unhappy with solitude but isolation and you don't fear loneliness because, like your shadow, it is a companion you know of old.

Maybe you have had close friends you have trusted who have let you down, you have invested your love in the wrong people or that you are able to meet folk half way even though they steadfastly remain rooted in their world, this one's for you.

If you, like me, know the difference between the solace of solitude and the icy chill of loneliness you will know it has nothing to do with physical propinquity to others but a sense of being left, bereft or an outsider.

Even Einstein once said "It is strange to be known so universally yet to be so lonely" and it takes a brave soul to admit to this.

Now before we all get the Leonard Cohen records out and stare meaningfully into the mid-distance in a sublime reverie of sweet melancholia (after all it is the time of year!), there is hope. In short you need to find your tribe.  

It sounds easy but trust me, there are folk out there who do think like you do, who do see things differently, who share your passions and who will support your thinking.  

Often when one spends time with family, colleagues or old friends it can seem we occupy a niche of one; tolerating other people's views but finding little outlet for our own perspectives. But when you do find a tribe who welcomes and shares your thinking it feels like coming home.  

Think about joining poetry or writing group, create a book club, scour the internet if film noir is your thing or find a retreat that explores your thoughts. One group doesn't have to meet all your needs just as one person can't or shouldn't have to. You can have composite tribes for different aspects of your Self and eventually you will find a place, a jigsaw "club" where the members are as arch, cranky, introverted, deep, fey, way out, drawn in or convoluted as you are.

We all need to be "got" by others occasionally and feeling accepted and understood soothes the soul and adds balm to our psyches.

Joining women in business groups helped me feel related to others who work for themselves who have drive, passion, aspirations, energy and big dreams - even if our dreams are poles apart - there is a synergy and dynamism we share.  

Have a powerful month.

Love and best wishes

Your coach

Carole Ann