* Awareness
* Acceptance
* Assertiveness
* Self-esteem
* Self-worth
It is very important that what you think, say and do, it's in complete alignment; otherwise, mayhem will follow.
Remember the times when you wanted to say something witty, meaningful and impacting, only to find yourself saying: "I wished I would have said......"
Then there are times you wish you could take back every word out of your mouth, including pauses, commas and new paragraphs.
CONSIDER:
What causes you to hold back?
* Is it FEAR-based?
* Are you afraid of Rejection?
* Are you afraid of Approval (Having to live up to higher standards.)
* Are you driven by a "deep" need to please other people, including your parents, peers, friends, colleagues, clients?
* As an adult, are you still looking for Approval and afraid you may not get it if you say the wrong thing?
What causes you to speak without thinking?
* Are you overwhelmed with too much knowledge?
* Do you feel a need to just spill the beans no matter the consequences?
* Is being judgmental the driving-force behind your outburst?
* Will you be "lesser than" if you don't speak-up now?
* Will you be "greater than," thus fulfilling a sense of self-importance?
OPTIONS:
* Rising awareness of what's happening will help you do something about it.
* Getting clear about the causes will help you identify their roots.
* Knowing their roots will help you find balance between aggressive and/or passive thinking, speaking and behavior.
* Find knowledge within you that once the issue is identified, it can be changed, transformed, and maintained.
* Being assertive is a crucial component to being fully self-expressed.
* Know that there are many alternatives to becoming assertive.
* Embrace the fact that you are human.
* Start the process from where you are, and not from where you wish you could have been.
ACTION PLAN:
* Start by having strong opinions, no matter what the topic is.
* It's okay for your opinions to even be obnoxious. Own them!
* Remember opinions are your perception of facts, and not necessarily the facts; however, have them anyway.
* Lose the fear of being wrong!
* This will help you build your self-esteem.
* Awareness is everything. Write down the symptoms of either holding back, or speaking without thinking, and dissect them.
* Identify the real causes. Accept the reality of it.
* If it is a psychological problem, talk to a professional.
* It could even be a physiological issue that causes you to over-think what you want to say. Talk to your family physician.
* Take a course on Assertiveness, join a Toastmaster's club or hire a coach specialized in helping people being aligned in what they think, say and do. This is crucial.
* Do all of the above!
* More importantly, be who you are! Both your self-esteem and sense of self-worth will receive a tremendous boost, and you can build from there.
The major component to be fully self-expressed is authenticity and transparency; however, own your thoughts, your opinions and your way of being. It is who you are!
So, tell me, are you fully self-expressed?
I want to hear all about it: http://AliRodriguez.com/blog
Much love and success,
