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| January 12, 2015
Marian Shrine E-Newsletter
Volume 3, Issue 23
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"How are you?"
That's an interesting question. This question is asked at least millions of times per day across the globe. Many times the question "How are you?" passes from employee to customer without even being noticed.
Strangers might not even hear the question. Those who notice the question, most frequently answer with a commonly expected response: "Fine" or "Good."
When we use a default answer like "fine" or "good" it could be that we are avoiding connection and/or potential confrontation.
I know at least for me, there used to be a little voice in the back of my mind that said, "They don't REALLY care how I am. She was just being nice. It's her job at the store to ask those questions."
Sometimes that was true. I could sense that the person didn't care. But that doesn't change the fact that a part of me was afraid to engage the other person. What did it matter? We'd only talk for 10 seconds anyway. Why bother being open and vulnerable?
It wasn't until a few years ago that I decided to make my best conscious effort to answer "How are you?" honestly. Some days that means I'm wonderful, delighted, having a great day, or simply feeling well.
Other days, I answer more somberly. For example, I'll tell people that I am "Tired," "Sad," "Very upset" or "I'm having a really difficult day/week/month/holiday season." Sometimes people don't know how to respond to that.
Answering "How are you?" candidly is out of the norm. Unexpected. Vulnerable. All the things that people usually try to avoid (consciously or subconsciously).
The thing is, when we answer unconsciously with socially expected and accepted responses, we become robbers.
We rob the other person of the opportunity to engage with the world in a more alive way. We rob ourselves of that same opportunity. We also rob ourselves of living presently, consciously, and authentically.
We rob ourselves and others of the opportunity to make new friends, new connections, share our experiences and insights, and most importantly - share our humanity.
It is risky to be vulnerable.
Part of us fears rejection. Part of us worries about what the other person will think if we were REALLY candid about how we are.
Those are normal aspects of our social survival instincts. It's the pack mentality that says "If I don't conform to what I think others expect of me, I might not get what I want. I might be rejected. I might not survive."
It doesn't just happen in supermarkets and stores though. This is most readily seen in social functions with family, friends, coworkers. It happens in almost every walk of life where "How are you?" is a frequent question.
In those contexts most people rarely answer honestly. "Good" and "great" become coverups for the real inner thoughts like "My life is in total shambles and I'm grateful just to be out of the house. Would you please pour me a glass of that wine?"
Being open and candid is not easy. Few of us were given working examples, the tools, and the support to be vulnerable, authentic, and candid.
Fortunately, every day we have an opportunity to change that in a safe way.
Where and how?
The supermarket :)
Next time somebody asks you "How are you?" pause for a brief moment and answer honestly.
See how the moment unfolds. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but I guarantee you this: Do it enough times, and you will experience ever increasing degrees of inner freedom and peace.
Why? Because you're no longer silencing the true essential nature of yourself that WANTS to be authentic and connect with others...
Even if it be for just a brief moment.
God bless you,
In Mary Help of Christians,
I remain,
Fr. Jim McKenna SDB
Director
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Thoughts
The highest peak in the country of Wales is affectionately called "the Top of the World." On a visit one summer, the wind blew and the clouds billowed, and all around as far as the eye could see were white spots-sheep dotting every pasture all the way to the lowest valley below. It was a breathtaking sight. No one on earth could create such a scene, not even the best set designer in all of Hollywood. Nothing compares to the intensity and exhilaration we feel when we are actually on top of a mountain.
We will experience mountaintop highs in life-and we will walk through some deep valleys as well. We can't always experience life on top of the world, but the mountaintop moments God grants us-spiritually and through the splendor of his world-will give us reminders of His love when we walk the inevitable valleys that are part of the human journey.
Take time to remember some of those special moments God has brought into your life and be ready to face anything with optimism, hope, and confidence!
Father, thank You for the moments in my life that bring me joy-and thank You for great memories to help me get through those moments that cause me pain. Help me to lean on You when I'm top of the world or walking through the valley. Amen.
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 Uncommon Sense
by Nido R. Qubein
People tend to order their lives according to "conventional wisdom," a generally accepted set of principles that may include centuries-old folk sayings or that may have arisen from contemporary experience. These sayings and beliefs have become so ingrained in the public mind that they are often referred to as "common sense."
In both your business and your personal life, following conventional wisdom is usually the "safe" approach. But, the people who make a remarkable difference in the world are typically those who examine conventional wisdom with a critical eye, using "uncommon sense."
Most people don't question conventional wisdom. It's just "the way things are." Others see it as a handy starting place for examining their own values. Using uncommon sense, they often discover wisdom that is far from conventional.
Somewhere along the way, someone questioned conventional wisdom, examined it from all sides, developed new principles, and produced human progress.
Common sense told the medieval world that the Earth was the center of the universe and the sun revolved around it. Copernicus followed uncommon sense to a new understanding of the universe and our place in it. Uncommon Sense is not aimed at turning conventional wisdom on its head or debunking the wisdom of the ages. It seeks, instead, to encourage a creative look at things often taken for granted, to provide fresh insights into old verities.
I have lived long enough to acknowledge the value of wisdom based on generations of experience. I have also lived long enough to know that those who follow conventional wisdom uncritically may end up in a rut that leads nowhere.
So when I hear someone quote an old saying that suggests it's the wisdom of the ages, I start looking for footnotes and often find them with the nuggets of uncommon sense they contain. That sort of skeptical examination has served me well, and I recommend it to those who want to enjoy, discover, and achieve fulfillment in their lives.
The conventional explorer, in crossing a stream, may look at the stones rising from the water as islands of stability in the swirling current. And that they may be. But the creative explorer will stop and turn the stones over to determine whether priceless gems might lie beneath or what veins of gold might be incorporated in their mass.
Ancient adages are like those rocks in the stream, assuring the crosser that it's safe to step here. Those old saws serve a useful purpose. But unless we're willing to turn them over and look at the other side, we may never know what nuggets of wisdom, what omens of triumph, what uncommon principles lie underfoot.
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 Laughter the best medicine
Tea Service
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my brother who is four years older than I am. I was maybe 1 and a half years old and had just recovered from an accident in which my arm had been broken. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news and my brother was playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.
After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because
it was 'just the cutest thing!!'
My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then says, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet??'
The End is Near A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.
"Leave us alone, you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard a big splash. "Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'bridge out' instead?" Shopping Bags It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order. As the harried looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor. "They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway!
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 The Devotion of the Three Hail Mary's
The devotion of the THREE HAIL MARYS is a very simple yet most efficacious devotion.
Everyday, recite Three Hail Marys, adding the invocation: "O Mary, My Mother, keep me from mortal sin." Many people recite the Three Hail Marys as part of their morning and night prayers. To practice this devotion in time of danger, stress, special need or temptation, is a sure means to obtain Our Lady's help.
My sincere thanks to Our Lord and Mother Mary for all the favors granted to me and my family especially for healing our sicknesses and protecting us from danger.
Martha Mandes, NY
My belated and sincere thanks to Jesus and Mary Help of Christians for a successful operation and for clear medical reports. M. Castelino, GA
Thank you Jesus, Mother Mary and Don Bosco for all the favors granted to us and for a job to my son Philip. Mr. & Mrs. Xavier, PA
My heartfelt thanks to Our Loving Mother Mary for the gift of a lovely baby girl to my sister
Genevieve and also for protecting my sister from all dangers. Eric, PA
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A note:
Dear devotees of Our Lady and Don Bosco,
If you have received a miracle through the intercession of Our Blessed Mother, we would like to hear from you. Email us at MaryShrine@aol.com.
Bookstore hours: Monday - Saturday - 10 am to 5 pm, Sundays: 12 - 4 pm
Weekday Masses: 12 noon. Confessions on weekdays begin at 11.30 am.
Sunday Masses: 11 am and 12.30 pm
Other activities: Day Retreats, Weekend retreats, Don Bosco Summer Camp, Eucharistic Adoration, Friday night Lenten Dinners, 50/50 raffle, 350 club, Rosary Madonna Statue. Rent Lomagno Hall, Rent our Banquet Hall.
MEMORIES
Remember a Loved One: Engrave plaques on Wall of Memories, adopt a Tree, Engrave blocks on Walk of Honor, All Souls, All year Candle lighting, Holiday (Christmas and Easter), Flowers, Schedule a Mass, Bell Chimes.
MASS INTENTIONS
To offer a mass intention, please write to
Fr. Jim McKenna SDB
174 Filors Lane,
Stony Point, NY 10980
mckennasdb@yahoo.com.
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In Closing
Our ministry is only possible with your help.
Visit our website: www.marianshrine.org to donate.
Marian Shrine
174 Filors Lane, Stony Point, NY 10980
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