A long time ago, I was married to a man who actually was old enough to be my father. While our relationship did not work out, there were some experiences I am so pleased to have had during my time with Bob.
He could not swim. Not that he flailed around in deep water - he dropped like a rock! Many of the things most of us have been able to do were impossible for Bob. Like going to the Water Park.
One of my favorite things used to be water parks. So.... with friends in tow who had children (often necessary for a day at the water park, justification, you see), I took Bob to Wet and Wild Water World.
His super pale skinny legs in shorts, wearing flip flops and a Harley T shirt, Bob looked as uncomfortable as he must have felt. At first.
I convinced him to trust me on some small slides with shallow landing pools where I rode down ahead of him, leaped off of my tube and stood by to catch him when he landed. And catch him it was! When he dropped from the slide into the 3 foot high water, he disappeared beneath it and I grabbed under his arms and pulled him immediately up to gasp some air.
Life guards stared and signaled at me and I told them, "he can't swim" as he laughed and grabbed his tube to go again. "I've got him!" I told them and they stayed alert just in case.
Bob eyed the longer, scarier slides and soon found the courage to try them. I told him to count to 20 after I went down so I could get ready to catch him in the deeper water. The entire day was one of adventure for him and I was delighted to be his "catcher"! He never got buoyant, never was able to land on his feet, but he trusted me and had so much fun.
Our only casualty that day was the top of Bob's feet - badly sunburned they were, having never seen the sun as far as I knew.
When we love, it becomes about that well being of those we love. When we love, it does not turn on and off like a switch. If we cannot live with someone, it does not mean something is wrong with them or with us. Instead of thinking about things that did not work out (in any relationship), I try to remember the times when the best of me found its way to the situation.
Wishing you joy and courage,
Katharine and the
Dharmahorse tribe.
