To be disappointed is inevitable if you live on planet Earth - eventually, everyone faces a bit of it. I've had my share and I have meditated on it tonight, deeply. I had a disappointing day. I had set up and changed my whole week to free up this afternoon for my hoof trimmer to work on my horses. I missed a Horse Lunch gathering (horse people at lunch, NOT horses
for lunch!), did all my food/feed shopping yesterday, set things up for Mom to be without my checking in for the afternoon, a lot of juggling.
And, in meditation, I heard myself in this dialog, "I, I, I, me, me, me"! Granted, I only really have my own perspective, but I can consider others'. My farrier told me on the phone during my third call to him 3 1/2 hours after he was supposed to arrive, that he "had been working with two colts he had known would be trouble"....
Then, of course, I thought "why not do my horses first who are behaved, easy and, well,
good"! I saw how my ego was all invested in the situation. Then I saw how his ego was likely a big part of the day's unfolding. He might have wanted to prove he could get those colts trimmed... I don't know.
The enlightenment for me was the egocentric nature of the whole experience. As usual, I saw clearly how I had attached to an outcome and became agitated when things headed off in a different direction. No longer an observer, no longer living in the moment, I focused on what was wrong rather than what is right. What is right is, I have a business that is growing so much, I have trouble making time for things other than lessons, programs and horse care! I have a Mother who is doing well, living here and enjoying movies on her TV while I can work at my home/stable. I can sit for an hour with my new horse, watching for the hoof trimmer to arrive (grrrr, I'm not quite totally Zen with it yet), letting him explore my pockets, rub his head on my shoulder and get to know me.
That horse is a 16.2 hh bay Thoroughbred gelding named "Wally" who was heading for slaughter if a home wasn't found quickly. I was lucky enough to become that home. I am counting blessings on fingers & toes tonight and strangely grateful to my farrier. I got an extra hour today just to be with Wally.
