A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome and extremely sexy young man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.
The young man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20... on one condition".
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The young man replied "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words". The woman considered his proposition for a moment, then slowly removed from her purse a $20 bill, which she pressed into the young man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly, meaningfully said...
"Paint my house".
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A farmer walked out to the edge of his fields and summoned his two sons. When they finally arrived back at the farm house, the father told his sons that he wanted to teach them a lesson about honesty and integrity. The two boys listened with interest.
"When George Washington was a young man" he said "George chopped down a cherry tree. His father asked George who had chopped down the cherry tree, and because he was honest his father did not spank him".
"Now" the farmer said "I want to know who pushed the outhouse into the creek".
After a few awkward moments the younger son finally confessed that he had done it. The farmer took off his belt and said. "You're gonna git it!" The son screamed "What about George Washington? His father didn't whip him!"
"True" said the farmer "but his father wasn't in the cherry tree when he cut it down!"
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A golfer accidentally overturned his cart. Jane, a beautiful real avid golfer who lived in a villa on the golf course heard the noise and yelled over to him.
"Hey, are you okay, what's your name?" "Dan" he replied.
"Dan, forget your troubles.
Come to my villa, rest up and I'll help you get the cart up later".
"That's mighty nice of you" Dan answered "but I don't think my wife would like it". "Aw come on" Jane insisted.
She was very pretty and persuasive.
"Well okay" Dan finally agreed, and added "but my wife won't like it!"
After a hearty drink, some flirting AND sexy driving & putting lessons, Dan thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be real upset".
"Don't be foolish!" Jane said with a smile, she won't know anything.
By the way, where is she?"
Dan replied "Under the cart!"
