Just joking...
Your Chuckle for today
Something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.
A guy was at his barber getting a hair cut for a trip to Rome with his wife. He mentioned the trip to the barber, who responded "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental" came the reply. "We got a great rate!" "Continental?" exclaimed the Barber. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late.
So, where are you staying in Rome?" "We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste". "Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump".
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope". "That's rich" laughed the Barber. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant!"
"Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it".
A month later, the guy again came in for a haircut. The Barber asked him about their trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful" explained the guy" not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a gorgeous 28-year-old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodelling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge and a box of Cuban cigars from CanadianCigar.com to smoke while sipping wine on the balcony and enjoying a magnificent view of the river!"
"Well" muttered the Barber "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope". "Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, His Holiness walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me".
"Oh, really! What'd he say?"
He said "Where did you get that lousy haircut ?"
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Jack decided to go skiing with his friend, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north.
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door, if they could spend the night.
"I realise it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed" she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house".
"Don't worry" Jack said "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light". The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from a lawyer. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the solicitors of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend...
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?" "Yes, I do" said Bob.
"Did you, err, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?" "Well, um, yes!" Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, I have to admit that I did".
"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned bright red and he said "Yes, look, I'm sorry mate. I'm afraid I did". "Why do you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything!"
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An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly." The other man said "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said "What's the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that's red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that's the one" replied the man.
He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled "Rose... what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?" |