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Just Joking...
Your chuckle for the week
Once upon a time
there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own was cast under a spell by an evil witch.
The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was allowed to speak two words.
One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love. With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say "my darling". But at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her.
Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to 5).
But at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.
Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily "My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"
And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, she said "Pardon?"
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FANTASY?
My wife asked me if I had any fantasies. I said "Yeah I've got this one where we're complete strangers and we've never met". "Ohhh" she said "And then you pick me up in a bar or something?"
"No" I replied "Just the first bit!"
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WELFARE CHECK
A young man walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing."
The social worker behind the counter said..."Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2012 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes." "Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.
This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to romance her, as the daughter is in her mid-20's and her Father wants to know and control who she is dating.
You will be permitted to enjoy as many Cuban cigars as you wish from his private collection.
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "Ok, wait... Now I know your Bull Sh&#ting me!"
The social worker said,
"Yeah, well...You started it."
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It was a sunny Sunday morning, and Murray was beginning his preshot routine, visualizing his upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker. "Would the gentleman on the ladies' tee please back up to the men's tee."
Murray remained in his routine, seemingly unfazed by the interruption.
A little louder: "Would the man on the women's tee kindly back up to the men's tee!"
Murray raised up out of his stance, lowered his driver, and shouted, "Would the announcer in the clubhouse kindly shut up and let me play my second shot?" | 
I normally prefer a larger diameter cigar, but in the case of Romeo the larger Churchill line I normally smoke seems a different blend then the rest of the Romeos. 
