One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch off a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water.
The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied "No".
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied "No".
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied "Yes". The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happily.
One day while he was walking with his wife along the riverbank, the woodcutter's wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE. "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked. "Yes!" cried the woodcutter.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The woodcutter replied "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE, You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ. Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE!"
The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.
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A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at Pearson International in Toronto. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him. He decides because she has a uniform on, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant.
So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby greatly impressing her.
He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto "We love to fly and it shows". The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line. He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto. "Winning the hearts of the world"
Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face. Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto. "Going beyond expectations".
The woman looks at him sternly and says "What the hell do you want,why are you bothering me?"
"Ah!" he says, sitting back with a smile on his face
"Air Canada!"